September 19, 2014

Posted: September 19, 2014 9:21 am

Make sure to read my short story on the truth behind science. It will make you a better person.

It won’t make you a better person. Because you’re great as is.

I’m against sending ground troops into Iraq. Space troops, though, would be awesome.

Remember when President Obama got a Nobel Peace Prize just for existing and some people thought that wasn’t mockable?

So basically, if Scotland secedes, the whole world collapses into anarchy?

I called up Apple and said I forgot my pin code and needed them to retrieve my user data, and they replied, “Nice try, pig!”

“What’s the deal with these serial killings?” -Jerry Seinfeld, homicide detective

A picture is worth a thousand words, but an emoji is worth -3.

So do a lot of people really not like the episode “Fly” from Breaking Bad? Just rewatched it, and it’s a great episode.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (No Ratings Yet)

Posted: September 19, 2014 8:00 am

Coming to the US soon: a humanoid robot named “Pepper” that can speak, dance, and make jokes.

Depending on the price tag, Josh Earnest may be out of a job.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (No Ratings Yet)
Posted: September 19, 2014 7:00 am

Avast! Ye know what day it be, matey!

And hie thee scurvy carcass thither for to fetch up a pirate name of yer own, says I – Pirate Jake the Fashionably Late

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (No Ratings Yet)

September 18, 2014

Posted: September 18, 2014 10:00 pm

(Inspired by a comment from NO_MO_BAMA [High Praise!])

[reference link]

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: September 18, 2014 9:00 pm


[It's Payback Time] (Viewer #2,196,033)

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (No Ratings Yet)
Posted: September 18, 2014 8:00 pm

Kevin Concannon, USDA undersecretary for food, nutrition, and consumer services said strict school lunch rules are necessary because obesity is “a national security issue”.

Easy fix. Just let the schools have “undocumented menus”.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: September 18, 2014 7:00 pm

[High Praise! to Hope n' Change Cartoons]

“We’re actually glad that the president is committing 3000 troops to the fight against ebola – we’re just surprised that he was able to do it without lecturing us about the many cultural and scientific contributions ebola made to helping us land a man on the moon.”

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: September 18, 2014 6:00 pm

(Submitted by RAML via The Duffel Blog [High Praise!])

NSA Hails Apple’s New iPhone 6 And Smartwatch

[Think you have a link that's IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (No Ratings Yet)
Posted: September 18, 2014 5:00 pm

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (No Ratings Yet)
Posted: September 18, 2014 4:00 pm

Geophysicists say the volcano under Yellowstone could undergo a “super eruption” which would blanket the entire country in ash.

And STILL cause less damage than fully implementing Obamacare.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: September 18, 2014 2:00 pm

Supporting new carbon pollution limits, @OFA volunteers were out in force gathering signatures in their communities. http://ofa.bo/a0ig

@BarackObama

“Yeah, they all drove in separate cars. So?”

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: September 18, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos plans to build his own space shuttle service, which will feature…

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: September 18, 2014 10:00 am

20140918LisaBenson
[Lisa Benson - GoComics]

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: September 18, 2014 9:13 am

Tip for the Left: Spend time attacking Biden, Reid for racism. Then when you attack right, we might actually believe it’s not just partisan.

The reason the iOS 8 download is so big is that it includes all of U2’s albums.

I had never heard of Shakespeare before I read about this Biden quote controversy.

Actually, I think I was forced to read some Shakespeare in high school. All I remember from it was this constant whining about “phonies.”

Is there anyway to hand out the MacArthur Genius Grant without it sounding sarcastic? “Here you go, genius.”

I want to see that new FOX cooking show “Got Ham.” It’s supposed to have Batman in it for some reason.

My favorite scene in Shakespeare is that speech directed at Lady Macbeth about “I am the one who knocks!”

This has to be the most anyone has talked about Scotland since England executed Mel Gibson.

I don’t think this #GamerGate thing is going to go away unless there is some bombshell like a release date on Half Life 3.

Have to feel bad for gaming journalist who just want to write whiny social commentary but are stuck doing 50 posts a day about Destiny.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: September 18, 2014 8:05 am

Tomorrow (Friday, September 19th) is “Talk Like a Pirate Day“, and I usually forget until about halfway through the day, and by then it’s too late to play along.

But this year, I – and consequently YOU – have plenty of warning.

Now get ridin’, Paul Revere, and spread the word.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: September 18, 2014 8:00 am

The government’s National Science Foundation is spending $1 million to create an online database that will track “false and misleading ideas” on Twitter.

Seems like a waste of money when you can follow @WhiteHouse for free.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

September 17, 2014

Posted: September 17, 2014 10:00 pm

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

NOTE: Light Googling indicates that this was actually a Communist Party New Zealand poster from the 1940’s, but it’s still real.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: September 17, 2014 9:00 pm

[High Praise! to Neatorama]

NOTE: Contains a few swears, since Robin didn’t always work PG


[Robin Williams - In Motion] (Viewer #66,182)

An installment in the video series Every Frame a Painting shows how Robin Williams harnessed motion to tell a story through his movie characters. Tony Zhou was inspired to address the subject by re-watching Williams’ films after his death. The finished project is more about movement, blocking, and body language, and how those things contributes to a good film -and Robin Williams happens to be the greatest example, as he was a master of expressing his character through movement. Talented directors and editors could spot and make those movements work to their advantage, and together they made awesome scenes that, in some cases, could completely dispense with dialogue

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: September 17, 2014 8:00 pm

A new report shows that the Australian Bureau of Meteorology manipulated temperature data to show “global warming” where none actually exists.

How sad. That unfairly taints those poor reputable climate scientists who didn’t get caught lying.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: September 17, 2014 7:00 pm

[High Praise! to Liberal Logic 101]

(Seriously, wouldn’t “fight for 15″ make a much better Tae-Bo weight-loss slogan?)

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)