* Mark Halperin, editor-at-large for Time, was suspended indefinitely for calling President Obama a “dick” — even though that’s only the start of things they called Vice President Cheney. Still, there’s no reason for vulgarity; you can accurately describe the president and keep it clean — like call him an “arrogant, utterly useless waste of space.” Be blunt but dignified.
Still, it’s interesting that even the left-wing are apparently getting tired of Obama. He used to be the liberal messiah, and now he’s just the guy who won’t shut up.
* Apparently as soon as the a debt ceiling deal is reached, Timothy Geithner is leaving his job to spend more time not paying taxes. Who will we be able to find that will do as great a job as he did? A bag of hammers? A box turtle? A rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle? Really, seeing the job that guy did, if you were an employer, would you let that guy anywhere near a cash register? You might even just make him a Walmart greeter and suddenly end up millions in debt.
Who am I kidding; how is he going to find a job in this economy?
* President Obama has said talking with Republicans on the debt ceiling is a “conversation not worth having” while at the same time he’s meeting with the Muslim Brotherhood. Kinda par for the course for that guy. I wonder how that conversation will go?
MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD: “We hate the West and want to see America destroyed!”
OBAMA: “Bah! You guys are all talk about destroying America. Me, I’m actually doing something about it!”
MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD: (whispering to themselves) “What a…”
* Dick Durbin said that an illegal alien could be a future president. Well, that would be one way to get President Obama to finally do something about illegal immigration: Make him think they’re coming after his job. Of course, having an illegal alien as president isn’t anywhere near as scary a thought as another four years of Obama. I mean, those guys pick lettuce; they have to have at least some practical experience.
* Glenn Beck’s final show aired yesterday. He ended it with a heartfelt goodbye just before sealing himself in a bomb shelter with a five year food supply.
* A Harvard study says that if you attend a 4th of July parade, you’re more likely to become a Republican. So obviously taking your kids to 4th of July parades is just part of being a responsible parent.
Isn’t it kind of a problem for Democrats that patriotism is so closely associated with Republicans? If someone is making their choice on who should run the country based on who actually kind of likes the country, that’s really bad news for the left.
* FOX New’s RedEye, which just had its 1000th show, is beating CNN primetime in ratings despite airing at 3am. To me, its the only cable news show worth watching. All of the news show are just so vacuous, but at least RedEye is conscious of the fact. Also, Greg Gutfeld will be one of the people you’ll see in Glenn Beck’s old time slot. I think they’ll keep him on a leash at that hour, but hopefully he’ll be able to bring the unicorn versus griffins debate to a larger audience.
* Wisdom of the Day: “I dated a hippie chick who worked for Human Rights Watch. Ironically, it was torture.” –Neal Brennan
* You had a lot of suggestions for a new name for this segment, so I added them all together and came up with this: “Frank Frank Frankly Franking Frank Frank”. Know what? Your suggestions were all awful. You people are nearly Obama useless. I don’t know why I keep you around.
I did kind of like “What the Frank?” but I probably shouldn’t have a title suggestive of swear words. I also liked “Morning Musket to the Junk” — though no one suggested it — but it also has the light vulgarity problem. So you can try again, but for now I’m keeping the HIGH PRAISE for myself.
I’m such an awesome guy; I don’t even think the human mind can comprehend my awesomeness.
Howzza about….Frankly Speaking!
Frankly Nuking the News?
In ‘other’ news, today is the first day of this year’s Valour IT drive.
Awesomeness is as awesomeness does.
Let’s be Frank……
I guess you didn’t want Frank in the title after all. How about….
The Flem Report
Getting pretty stingy with the praise there Frank. And a little coarseness is the paprika of funny.
with that in mind:
Frank’s Yanks
is way better than say
Francis pontificates concerning today’s events.
Hey, you skipped the part in which the President rejected an offer from Mitch McConnell to discuss the debt sealing just after Obama got done whining about Sasha and Malia’s homework habits. Says the Boy Press Secretary, “It’s not a conversation worth having because the President wasn’t serious, and besides he’s got a tee time before he heads off to raise money.”
Who believes that crap about Sasha and Malia finishing all their homework a day early? First of all, at their ages, homework is often not assigned until the day before it’s due, and it is usually based on that day’s instruction. Secondly, just a year or so ago, Obama was admitting to their crappy grades. Thirdly, I don’t trust anything that spews from his mouth. (Remember, if I said it, then it qualifies and polite political discourse.)
Which brings me to a closing thought. I never put this together, but Obama has complained about Sasha and Malia’s weight. He has also complained about their grades. I wish my dad could have been like Obama. It would have helped me so much to have my dad announce to the entire nation world I was fat and stupid.
How about: The Great Landlord Spams the News
“Morning Musket to the Junk”
From the great ones keyboard to our lowly monitors.
So has it been typed, so shall it be viewed…unless of course the mighty Khen’s offering (“The Great Landlord Spams the News
“) pleases thee Frnak.
Frank’s Eats.
My title suggestions:
Frankly Biased (could add “News” at the end: “Frankly Biased News”)
The News: A Frank Response (or A Frank Response to the News)
In My News
Frank Sense
Behold the Wisdom of the Frank
Frank you, you franking Franksters.
Why are there mother-franking liberals in this mother-franking news?!
Frank’s a Dick News
Frank’s Dick News
Frankly Frank’s Dick Speaks News
Franks Wiener Report
Franks Awesomely Awesome Dick News
Dick Frank Speaks
Dickly Frank Speaking
Dick Head Frank News for Dicks
Dick for Dicks
Dick
“Urgent news from IMAO”… “ussjimmycarter has been suspended without pay for an unknown length of time for using the phrase “Dick” to describe the creator of the blog” “When asked to comment, ussjimmycarter said “dick””…
Frank Takes On The News
Frank’s Take On The News
News Briefs
News Shorts
News Nuggets
News Takes
Today’s News
Too Daze News
Awesome News
Aww, Some News
News Break
* Go Frank Yourself, Media
* Franchorman
I’m giving myself HIGH PRAISE! for “Franchorman”.
Who’s the Dick who won High Praise last time. That’s who Frank J is waiting for to comment. Then the High Praise will come gushing forth as lips are placed to ass!
looks like someone needs a hug
Morning Cup ‘O Frank
Frank’s Corner
Nuke the News
Morning Musket to the News
Bantha_Fodder is sooooo awesome, I must comment on the news now
[Hmm… “Nuke the News” – no wonder I gave you HIGH PRAISE. -Ed.]
How about…
Random Thoughts That Are More Than 140 Characters Long So I Couldn’t Already Post Them On The Twitter Yesterday
[Now you’re just being cynical. -Ed.]
Yeah, I thought “Frank” had to be in the titular title. Rather than coming up with my own, I’m just going to say which ones I like, maybe to start a democratic revolt, maybe not:
Frank’s a Dick News – this made me laugh out loud. Or at least exhale sharply. It should be the title for that reason alone.
Aww, Some News – to be accompanied with an audio clip of Buttercup saying that or Frank pretending to be Buttercup saying that)
Franchorman is complex. You’ve got Franc which is the french version of Frank which is funny. You’ve got rancor, because we’re all kinda bitter here and Bantha smells. You’ve got Anchorman which fits perfectly because it’s a fake news job. And yet, much like the movie, I don’t like it. Sorry, Marco.
Frank News Nuggets: Welcome to FNN
News_Fodder (oh shameless)
Frank J and the News
Flem on the News
Ow Ow, It burns when I pee the news
“I don’t even think the human mind can comprehend my awesomeness.”
Mine certainly can’t.
Bwaahahahahahah!
“Mark Halperin, editor-at-large for Time, was suspended indefinitely for calling President Obama a ‘dick'”
But the really hilarious news is that today Mika Breschinski (spelling? who cares) said that MSNBC is under fire from the White House since the comment, as the White House thinks MSNBC doesn’t have enough White House supporters airing their views on their network…umm…seriously??
well, if its less than all, then it is not enough and terriblly unbalanced
The Harvard study is meaningless. Everybody becomes Republican eventually.
Frank Bites
Frank Up the news
.
.
.
Nothing I come up with equals:
A Warm Bucket of Fleming
We had great suggestions yesterday. I particularly liked “Frank incensed.” This contest is franked. You can keep your high praise.
Having been warped by Monty Python at an early age, I sort of like …
NOBODY EXPECTS the Frank J Inquisition!
Frankly Unbalanced
Frank Pontificates, the World Listens
Frank Insults His Commenters
Frank Speaks, His Commenters Say Attaboy!
Read or Die!
Pearls Before Swine
That’s the Way I Say It Is
Everyone knows Franchorman (And its cousin Frankorman) is better than the mindless drivel pouring, drooling forth from the mouth of Frank’s lapdog Bantha.
Hate the Game, not the Playa
* Fear Frank
* Fearless Fosdick
* The Fearless Leader
* The Learless Feeder
* Under The Bus
I’m such an awesome guy; I don’t even think the human mind can comprehend my awesomeness.
Maybe you should call it obama.
like, “Your obamaness is showing!”
Frank’s self-evident truths
Live Frank or Die
Frank “does” the News
Let me be Frank
Frank saves the news
The Frank Amendments
Tagline: “The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.” ~Thomas Jefferson
Howxabout:
Die upon our Bayonets, Liberal Scum
Morning Bolt from the Blue
Hippee Punch
Arrogant Look at the News
Arise and Awake, Conservative Soldiers of the Right
News that Frankly Matters
Sarah K’s Husband Reads the News
Papa Buttercup Tells a Story
Nuke the News!
All of Your News Are Belong to Frank
Mark Halperin was just misunderstood. He was simply describing Obama’s presidency as a “Dick Durbin” presidency.
Meaning Obama is really an illegal alien from the future who is currently president.
Hey Frank, yesterday afternoon Unistat76 offered:
Unistat76 says:
June 30th, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Frank Nukes the News.
and soon after
island girl offered:
Frank’s Nuked News
….amonst other ideas
…. but all you can ponder is
Bantha’s Fodder
* Get Over It!
* The Whole News And Nothing But The News, So Help Me Frank!
* Gird Your Loins
* News And Views with Jews
* I’m Frank J. And News Is My Middle Name
* Frank J., That’s My Name And News Is My Game
* Heeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Frankie!!
Wee lord brakabama is precisely the anatomical opposite of a dick.
Frank Factor
Oh the humanity
News Monkey
New News
Enbedded Reporter
Nuclear News
Jihadi Journalism
Inasmuch as I know my vote counts for squat, I vote for Jimmy’s “Gird Your Loins.”
Moon the news
The Morning News Musket
It’s the news, dummy
Points to Ponder
Now why didn’t I think of that?
Daily Despot
Getting my Frank all up in your news
Newsie News with FrankJ
No gnews is good gnews with FrankJ Gnu
How about “Frank Trains His Dogs”? You know, because newspapers are utterly worthless unless used for wacking a dog.
Mark Halperin’s comment was completely disrespectful of the Office of President and I, for one, support his suspension. He should have referred to Obama as the Dick in Chief.
“What a…” Dick Durbin…
Clever.
Dick Durbin said that
ananother illegal alien could be a future president. There, I fixed it for him.* Frank’s News Juice
* Thick ‘n Rich ‘n Creamy
* The Frankinator
* You’re Busted!
* Get A Clue!
* I’ll Tell YOU Where It Hurts!
Bantha…giggle…stop, I can’t take the humor…gafaw…laugh…giggle…You really have to stop!!! I mean…(tears running down cheeks, belly hurting from all the laughter) you need to give the rest of…ha ha ha ha ha…us a chance…falls of chair laughing with much hillarity!!!
The rest of you guys suck! Your are either Frank or Bantha butt kissers!!! You are the same guys who will go out and vote for Obama because like he’s the current POTUS!!! You are suppose to take on the “man”…not agree with him you twits!!!
No wonder the country is doomed!!! DOOMED I tell you!!!
Bacon!
Stuff I Couldn’t Fit In My Curling Newsletter.
Sarah has the remote and my Nintendo broke so I read about this stuff :
Diaper needs changing, better look busy.
Paper for pixelated parakeets.
Frank Spoons The News
Frank Hits Snooze
Why It’s News!
Frank From The Throne
Morning Cud
Today Today
…
I’m basically walking through Frank’s typical day.
@USSJC: Stick it to the Man? Really? I thought Frank was merely a pseudonym for a Syrian lesbian blogger:
Muslim Lesbian Reads the News
The Daily Infidel
Bold Frankin’ Sense du Jour
Now, ussjimmycarter, go to the fridge and pull out a nice 1554 Belgian ale and go sit on the patio and chill.
Fist Full of Frank.
Yes it’s true, I’m a Dick too!…..Richard Durbin, Senator, Ohio
Clearing the Flem
Sunny Side Up, Except Maybe Not so Sunny
Fixing the Break of Day
Classified: Morning Leak
Bruno the Morning Finch Spits Headlines
The Hour of Dour
4th of July weekend!! – nowadays, a uniquely
RepublicanConservative experience. (Oh, let’s hear the non-conservative Republicans complain about that!)Where are the Independence Day postings? Come on, guys, you got a life or sumpin’?
If Halperin thought the dialog required that sort of coarseness, he could have just used Science! Here’s an example: Dick Durban, my former senator, is a useless steaming pile of digestive byproducts! No problem!
Is there anything Science can’t do?
Why not: “Funnier than Fiction” or “Dewey Wins!”?
Although, I have to give a nod to Marko’s “Franchorman”; I’m a little upset I didn’t think of that one.
Frankly, My Dear. . .
Howsa bout:
IMAO sticks its Frank in the news
Or
Frank news for weinies
Or
Frank makes the obvious understandable
I can hardly wait to see who got high praise this time…
You know when you were in school and you’d arrive at class a bit early and there would be a pair of shoes sticking out from under your teacher’s desk? Bantha_Fodder and Frank J. I’m not sayin…I’m just sayin…If you know what I’m sayin…
Your suggestions were all awful. You people are nearly Obama useless. I don’t know why I keep you around.
We just come here for the spam. Can we get back to the Great Landlord, please?
Frank J. Fleming Hawks Up the News
The Flying Fickle Finger Of Frank
I thought that, by definition, a dick WAS blunt but dignified.
What about “And now for something completely Frank”?