Blames it on Bush . . . no wait, that excuse is getting old even for him.
He goes golfing. . . no, been there and done that too.
Announces that the country is the subject of a merger battle with the US destined to become a wholly owned subsidary of another country. Leading contenders are Cuba and Venezuela, due to their similar economic policies, China since they hold so much of the debt the deal would be self-financing, and Canada because they all got drunk on Molson over the weekend (but only if the deal closes before they sober up).
If the merger doesn’t work out, he can blame it on the blood suckers at Bain Capital that thought up the merger strategy in the first place.
…with his first semi-lucid action invests trillions of borrowed dollars in buggy whip manufacturing. Also tells America through his newly appointed spokesperson, Sarah Jessica Parker, that the shovel ready jobs are coming soon.
Huge post-election stock-market plunge. Obama…declared it a good thing because if stock prices go way down…more Americans can buy stocks! (Admit it, that DOES sound like his grasp of economics)
…said, “sounds about right.”
…put his pinky to the corner of his mouth and said, “why make the market go down billions when I can make it go down…trillions.”
…wondered aloud, “what do those numbers mean, anyway?”
(bacon to dill…I’m slightly angry I was here too late)
. . . blames it on the problems that he inherited from Bush, of course.
Blames it on Bush . . . no wait, that excuse is getting old even for him.
He goes golfing. . . no, been there and done that too.
Announces that the country is the subject of a merger battle with the US destined to become a wholly owned subsidary of another country. Leading contenders are Cuba and Venezuela, due to their similar economic policies, China since they hold so much of the debt the deal would be self-financing, and Canada because they all got drunk on Molson over the weekend (but only if the deal closes before they sober up).
If the merger doesn’t work out, he can blame it on the blood suckers at Bain Capital that thought up the merger strategy in the first place.
… tells Wall Street they’re on their own since he doesn’t need campaign cash anymore.
sells america short
…steeples his fingers together and says, “Excellent”
…balmes it on the last guy who was elected President. Oh, wait….
…started printing Woodrow Wilsons again.
…said I’m gonna bring Al Qaeda back from the dead, and I’m gonna kill GM.
told the GOP, ‘All your base are belong to us.’
…with his first semi-lucid action invests trillions of borrowed dollars in buggy whip manufacturing. Also tells America through his newly appointed spokesperson, Sarah Jessica Parker, that the shovel ready jobs are coming soon.
…named Dean Winters as secretary of Treasury.
…published his advice on how to make a small forturne on Wall Street. — (start with a large one)
Hollywood Hussein creates a new cabinet position.
BHHO appoints Mitt Romney to Secretary of Dog Handler
…can, in this one instance, honestly say his presidency is not all “bull.”
…. laughed maniacally, drummed his fingers together, and said, “It’s all part of my master plan!” No really, he actually did that.
Appoints new “Market Czar” to outsource all remaining assets…because it’s fair.
…checks another item off his to-do list.
… immediately tantrumed and screamed, “DON’T THEY KNOW HOW AWESOME I AM?!”
… immediately complained to MSNBC about how racist it is.
…states “I didn’t do that, somebody else made that happen.”
…taxes the losses
…told the 99% they need to occupy harder.
…rolls a doughnut down a hill and says “Hey, I just named that doughnut ‘America’, now watch me fly”.
…induced me to write the worst joke ever.
just changed his name do Daddy Morebucks.
Kept on fiddling.
Huge post-election stock-market plunge. Obama…declared it a good thing because if stock prices go way down…more Americans can buy stocks! (Admit it, that DOES sound like his grasp of economics)
Huge post-election stock-market plunge. Obama…didn’t notice because he was planning his next vacation.
…claimed stock prices were bowing to him.
Huge post-election stock-market plunge. Obama…attributed it to so many people being busy out buying guns, not watching the market.
Huge post-election stock-market plunge. Obama…didn’t take the hint.
received a phone call that Blue Horseshoe no longer loves Anacott Steel.
…said, “sounds about right.”
…put his pinky to the corner of his mouth and said, “why make the market go down billions when I can make it go down…trillions.”
…wondered aloud, “what do those numbers mean, anyway?”
(bacon to dill…I’m slightly angry I was here too late)
…decided all stocks should be the same (fair) price, minus a modest tax.
@archangel: Thanks archangel, but I have to offer bacon to tanstaafl in #4, (though in that case it wouldn’t be free bacon)
claimed stockmarket not fair anyway
Requisitioned a violin.
Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!