. . . demanded that the greedy 1% pay off all of their debts, the smug bastards. [Sadly, this is likely to be exactly true, through a bail-out subsidized by wealth-redistributive taxation.]
…will start a subscription service known as Fee Mail instead of just regular mail, because everyone knows once you hook up with Fee Mails you pay for it the rest of your life.
…has stopped taking steroids.
… has announced the new $47 stamp for all your postage needs.
… is now selling a new “Going Postal” line of assault weapons by mail-order.
… has mailed itself a check for $1 trillion.
…has introduced the $1,000,000,000,000 stamp.
…has ordered a redesign of it’s logo.
…will deliver all mail via vacuum tubes
will be holding a bake sale every Thursday afternoon.
…has announced that it will be “internally redistributing” all tax refund checks sent by mail.
…to replace the forever stamp has introduced the Everlasting Gobstopper reusable stamp.
(FormerHostage already took my first thought in #5)
….lost their notice of bankruptcy in the mail. (wink wink)
…declared themselves an indian reservation and started opening up casinos.
Has sent flyers to businesses that basically says, “Nice package you got there. Be a shame if something happened to it.”
Postal union members want a little “gift” left for them in your mailbox if you want your mail deliverd, capish?
…has decided to responsor Lance Armstrong for the cycling team…
…is trying to amend the ObamaCare act to include the requirement that everyone purchase a book of stamps each week or pay a fine.
…will hire Joe Biden as there accountant.
…gave the can a really swift kick!
…has posted “No Bankruptcy Zone” signs at all offices.
…Told Obama that yes, he does have to pay just like everyone else.
. . . are holding a Lottery and the winner gets to design the new stamp.
. . . demanded that the greedy 1% pay off all of their debts, the smug bastards. [Sadly, this is likely to be exactly true, through a bail-out subsidized by wealth-redistributive taxation.]
. . . will issue the “Old Elvis” stamp and charge by the pound for it.
is applying for Food Stamps.
Is pushing for electronic stamps for email and text messages.
…is changing the name of S&H Green stamps to Solyndra Green stamps.
… is starting to manufacture cars
…are converting all their their delivery trucks to solar power. So much for that snow, rain and gloom of night pledge.
…are changing their motto to “We’ll get it there…sometime…maybe…”
… are borrowing one BILLION dollars! It works that way for Congress… right?
is planning to ….. SQUIRREL!!!
….started printing more stamps
…actually showing a profit due to the increases in mail order ammo for hand guns.
Give Green Stamps with every purchase.
… instead of delivering the publishers clearinghouse sweepstakes they are just filling them out.
…said they were too big to mail and requested a mail-out! (rim shot)
@FredKey – Epic Mail
…will start a subscription service known as Fee Mail instead of just regular mail, because everyone knows once you hook up with Fee Mails you pay for it the rest of your life.
went to credit counselling instead.
@Rodney. Woodshed. NOW!
…started using FedEx.
…only hires illegals.
…was bought out by the federal go… oh wait
@Formerhostage – Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
@ Fredkey, Rodney, and Hostage, y’all owes me a monitor and a cup of coffee!
…started Twitter and Facebook accounts and got banned.
…extended franking privileges to all citizens, when you buy a stamp Barney Frank licks you.
…will let a TSA agent weigh your package.
…negotiated with their union to require all employees clock out before going postal.
Is offering a new service – for an extra $10 a week they’ll stop delivering you junk mail.
Is starting a new concept – unlisted address
Is raising their debt limit
…is re-establishing the Pony Express but this time using pink Unicorns, instead.
has added “mail delivery insurance” to the minimum insurance package under obamacare
@Rodney love the fee mail!
why don’t they get rid of all the old LLVs (6-10 mpg) and buy up all the excess Volts? Just sayin…
…was just sold to China.
In Russia, the Postal Service delivers you!!
@13. Former Hostage: ~~~~ To you – and to the Ferracotti Brothers (Hate to see any’fing break!)
…sent an email to all subscribers, asking why business is declining.
…took the obvious step of donating to the Democratic Party. Problem solved!
…changed the bankruptcy dial, so that Chapter 11 is now chapter 12.
Made a Trillion dollar platnum stamp. Now we just need a letter big enough for it.
Since stamps have gone up 700% in forty years, they claim they need more money.
Do they have something to do with the Government?
Who else has received a 700% increase in salary over that time?
They have disowned the union
…has merged with the mafia and is introducing a new slogan: “If you want to be sure they get the message, GO POSTAL!”
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