… got his speech and his facts all ready for his next stop, the UK’s security council, where he said — this is NOT made up —- “I spent half my life on OUR national security council.”
n fact, Biden has only been on the U.S. National Security Council for four years [-Daniel Halper, The Weekly Standard, “Biden Gaffes His Way Across Europe,” Feb 5, 2013]
…asked every French speaking person he met if he had also served in Vietnam.
…got angry when informed that cursing and saying pardon my French did not make him bilingual.
…told Francois Hollande that he had learned that fat, drunk and stupid was the way to go through life for the lower classes, but smelly, arrogant and really really stupid was French model of politics that the leftist elites in America had followed for decades.
…told Francois Hollande that he had learned that fat, drunk and stupid was the way to go through life for the lower classes, but smelly, arrogant and really really stupid was [the] French model of politics that the leftist elites in America had followed for decades.
I don’t think Biden would say something that sophisticated.
… did a sad real-life Abbott and Costello routine:
“I’m going to meet the president of this country?”
“Hollande.”
“I mean France.”
“Oui, Hollande.”
“Look, all I’m trying to find out is, who is the president of this country?”
“Hollande.”
“No, France.”
…. ad infinitum. He is probably still at it.
…spoke to his French hosts in German because the two nations had been allies during WW II.
…asked if he could be taken to Celine Dion’s birthplace since he was such a fan of French folk music.
…wanted to see The Joe DiMaggio Line.
…said he was told that The Napoleon Complex was actually a series of very small buildings and Biden, being over five feet tall, was worried about not being able to fit through the doors.
…wanted to lay a wreath at the grave of Jim Morrison because he was interested in honoring a national hero of France.
…wondered if he was going to have to visit that museum honoring French slatted-blinds called ‘The Loov-ree”
…asked his French hosts where he could get “a Royale with cheese”.
… Had to write a check for 75% of his income to come in.
… Was informed that his mother was a hamster and his father smelled of elderberries an that he was both an empty headed animal food trough wiper and an electric donkey bottom biter. He then wend and boiled his bottom.
…when visiting Notre Dame Cathedral asked where the Four Horsemen were buried, and was it near Noot Rock-knee’s grave.
…wore an 18th century silk brocade outfit, a powdered wig, knee stockings, shoes with big buckles, lots of makeup on his face and kept running around the room saying “Bon-jerr, bon-jerr, monn-sewer, vooley voo kooshay av-ick mwah, mercy bucket!”
…when at Notre Dame Cathedral he said he “was a big fan of The Four Horsemen”, wondered how difficult it was to teach centaurs to play football, were the French teaching them to just play soccer these days and would it be possible to get a “rescue centaur” as a gift for Obama’s oldest daughter, Malia.
….surrendered.
…got all confused about truffles being both a French dessert and a fungus.
…praised the 20th century open borders policy they had with germany.
…asked where the best french fries are at. 🙂
…kept ordering horse divers and craps for lunch.
…thanked them for the invention of fireworks and asked where that big wall was
Kept telling everyone he’d hold it, cause they kept talking about Oui oui.
…kept asking how they’d moved Notre Dame Cathedral there from South Bend.
…looked forward to visiting Notre Dame because he’d “heard that French women are hot.”
#6 I just choked on my drink laughing
… made an important contribution to our foreign policy. (Ha! Funniest line ever!)
…went to McDonald’s.
… pulled out a map and started looking for Remulak.
…bought a beret and had mustache plugs put in.
…ordered steak tartar medium rare.
…broke down crying when he apologized for the Normandy Invasion.
… learned that “gaffe” is of French origin, so committed a good ol’ American faux pas.
… accepted the award of “Le pouf-célèbre.”
…looked around for clean and articulate Frenchmen but couldn’t find any.
… said, “I’ve been to Wisconsin, which makes me an honorary cheesehead, too.”
…was shown the Effiel Tower and asked “When will it be completed?”
… got his speech and his facts all ready for his next stop, the UK’s security council, where he said — this is NOT made up —- “I spent half my life on OUR national security council.”
n fact, Biden has only been on the U.S. National Security Council for four years [-Daniel Halper, The Weekly Standard, “Biden Gaffes His Way Across Europe,” Feb 5, 2013]
…asked every French speaking person he met if he had also served in Vietnam.
…got angry when informed that cursing and saying pardon my French did not make him bilingual.
…told Francois Hollande that he had learned that fat, drunk and stupid was the way to go through life for the lower classes, but smelly, arrogant and really really stupid was French model of politics that the leftist elites in America had followed for decades.
Got between a garrison of French soldiers and a white flag factory, and was nearly trampled to death.
“A three letter word: F-R-A-N-C-E. Literally!”
…told President Sarkozy that he’s a big fan of their mustard.
….asked to go to the Louvre museum, because window treatments fascinate him.
…he kept asking everyone… is that your minkey?”
…was surprise that he was doing the French Mistake, Voila!”
@26: Heh-heh.
…. was deeply moved that they named a fixture after him. “But my name ends in an ‘n,’ ” he said, “not a ‘t.’ “
doh. (was surprised)
@23 said:
I don’t think Biden would say something that sophisticated.
kept slouching and saying, “The bells… the bells… the bells….”
…kept referring to Obama as that stupid english pig-dog.
… did a sad real-life Abbott and Costello routine:
“I’m going to meet the president of this country?”
“Hollande.”
“I mean France.”
“Oui, Hollande.”
“Look, all I’m trying to find out is, who is the president of this country?”
“Hollande.”
“No, France.”
…. ad infinitum. He is probably still at it.
…said he want to meet the real modo, not just the quasi kind.
@33 rodney dill:
Well, his policies do smell of elder Barry . . .
…wore a fake hump to the Notre Dame Cathedral, kept having his ‘hump’ move from one side to the other, or disappear altogether.
…at the Notre Dame Cathedral kept asking to see ‘Touchdown Jesus.’
…asked if he could see the guillotine in action
…spoke to his French hosts in German because the two nations had been allies during WW II.
…asked if he could be taken to Celine Dion’s birthplace since he was such a fan of French folk music.
…wanted to see The Joe DiMaggio Line.
…said he was told that The Napoleon Complex was actually a series of very small buildings and Biden, being over five feet tall, was worried about not being able to fit through the doors.
…wanted to lay a wreath at the grave of Jim Morrison because he was interested in honoring a national hero of France.
…wondered if he was going to have to visit that museum honoring French slatted-blinds called ‘The Loov-ree”
…asked his French hosts where he could get “a Royale with cheese”.
Wow, you can hardly walk into a 7-11 without having a slight French accent. What? Sept-Onze? You crazy Frogs!
… Had to write a check for 75% of his income to come in.
… Was informed that his mother was a hamster and his father smelled of elderberries an that he was both an empty headed animal food trough wiper and an electric donkey bottom biter. He then wend and boiled his bottom.
(@38: It’s pronounced “Al-Gore,” not Igor.)
… Had to hide inside a giant wooden rabbit to get in
… Said he had never been to this part of Canada before
…when visiting Notre Dame Cathedral asked where the Four Horsemen were buried, and was it near Noot Rock-knee’s grave.
…wore an 18th century silk brocade outfit, a powdered wig, knee stockings, shoes with big buckles, lots of makeup on his face and kept running around the room saying “Bon-jerr, bon-jerr, monn-sewer, vooley voo kooshay av-ick mwah, mercy bucket!”
@ Bunkerhillbilly: “…asked if he could see the guillotine in action”
… asked for a menage a trois so he could see two guillotines in action….
Asked a waiter to do the ‘french mystique’
…was mistaken for Jerry Lewis.
… Asked why so many Americans were buried there
…learned that le pissour publique was more of a noun than a verb and unlike himself, French policemen know that it’s not raining.
Hey Keln~! I vote for 47-49!!!
was astonished that federal prisoners were allowed to roam the streets as long as they didn’t speak….
Was totally disappointed when he saw his toast.
asked why they didn’t break away from Quebec….
wondered why there so few Palestinians living on the West Bank…..
…was arrested for having three banned substances in his room…. soap, toothpaste, and deodorant.
…. was triple dog dared into putting his tongue on a cold Eiffel Tower.
…when at Notre Dame Cathedral he said he “was a big fan of The Four Horsemen”, wondered how difficult it was to teach centaurs to play football, were the French teaching them to just play soccer these days and would it be possible to get a “rescue centaur” as a gift for Obama’s oldest daughter, Malia.
Wait. I’m confused. I thought Joe Biden was the punch line.
….. was arrested for making a toy white flag
. . . begged to see the statue of John F. Kerry who began his career in the State Department in Paris.
. . . congratulated them for their last Great Military Victory-in the French Revolution.
Asked, “So where’s that place where the ladies wear no pants?”
Ordered Pate at his hotel and was angry when she didn’t show.
…checked-in to a local dementia clinic and was declared brain dead.
… couldn’t figure out why Paris wasn’t just a walk away from the Venetian, Caesar’s Palace, MGM, and Mandalay Bay.
was horrified by French cannibalism and refused to eat frog’s legs in protest
was enranged when he found the statue of liberty shrunken and moved to the Seine
…asked if he would get to meet her little dog Tinkerbell when he found out he was staying at the Paris Hilton.
…complained that his escargot was covered with snails and his vichyssoise was cold.
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