Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A new drug could let people live to be 150. Side effects include…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A new drug could let people live to be 150. Side effects include…
…an unhealthy desire to eat brains.
…sunlight and churches cause you a definite adverse reaction.
…a preponderance to vote along the Democratic Party line and demand healthcare entitlements.
(Actually should be a predisposition, not preponderance)
… Becoming as wise and experienced as you thought you were as a teenager.
…your mother-in-law and politicians may also have access to the drug.
…you’ll eventually look like Harry Reid or Nancy Pelosi.
…85 years of yelling “Get offa my lawn!”
…Diane Feinstein and Nancy Pelosi continuing to be re-elected well past their natual expiration dates.
…that not so fresh feeling will become the norm…
…135 year old cougars ain’t pretty.
…a compulsion to keep kids off of lawns.
…short term memory loss, headaches, seepage, and short term memory loss.
…you feeling younger but still having to deal with your broken wrinkled @ss body.
…ugly golf pants.
…you still won’t be able to remember where you put your teeth or your glasses.
…numbness below the waste, difficulty breathing, headaches and occasional death. Ask your doctor if living until 150 is right for you.
…a sudden appetite for dog.
…do you really want to be around to vote in an election where one of Obama’s grandchildren or great grandchildren is running for president?
SHRINKAGE!!!
….just one word… Flickr
. . . massive expansion of death panels to make sure it is spending neutral.
…you won’t be able to collect Social Security benefits until the age of 125.
Listening to your grandchildren gripe about their taxes, that you voted for.
Looking like a marxist
Having to repeat your stories to a new generation.
Having to repeat your stories to a new generation.
wearing your adult diaper around your ankles.
…”til death us do part” takes a really really really long time….
…living long enough to see America burnt to the ground. Oh wait… you dont need this drug for that.
Years composed of eight, fifteen-day months. We’ll call them “Daylight Savings Years,”
living to 150.
Your great great grandchild’s show and tell presentation may be titled — Bring out yer dead.
…you still have to live with Obama in office for at least eight years.
A new drug could let people live to be 150. Side effects include… well Depends.
Side effects include…
…a significant reduction in the quality of the Proteins extracted from 100+ year old bodies. There is no such thing as Old People Tenderloins. Also, Soylent Grey is far less marketable than Soylent Green.
…looking like Nancy Pelosi.
…discovering that it’s 150 GOVERNMENT years, which works out to 65 HUMAN years.
(A gov’t employee dies and is greeted by a parade in Heaven. When he asked why, St Peter says “We don’t often get people who live past one hundred.” “There must’ve been some mistake – I’m only 45” says the man. Pete replies “But that cannot be. We’ve added up your timesheets.”)
…wearing your pants up to your armpits.
… more damn kids on your lawn.
… None. Your life expectancy is actually the same, but they’ll stop teaching math in public schools.
….the decreasing ability to use technology of any kind. Even things you used to know how to do before…..wait a minute that happens at 56 or 65 or 72 ………it will just happen for longer.
…..80 more years of Depends, walkers, new knees, new hips and really getting to know the other patients at the nursing home.
……more studies about “quality of life” issues. Good news job security for health care workers, insurance companies and the makers of Geritol, Depends and a plethora of other medicines that “help” the elderly live longer
……more centigenarian roles in flim. Imagine if you would “The Expendables” with Sly at 120. The mind boggles.
…more guns to collect!
…even if you can get it up you can’t remember what to do with it.
@rodney dill:
…not only can’t you get it up, you can’t get up.
…about 75 more years to think of IMAO punchlines.
… a change in the definition of “alive” to “registered Democrat and still casting votes”
…my lifetimes run out in in the mid-34th Century.
A New Drug Could Let People Live to 150. Side Effects Include…million dollar life-insurance policies for tuppence a day. Kimberly-Clark the makers of Depends™ undergarments gain higher market capitalization than Google.
…Chicagoans voting in more than 50 presidential elections.
major side effect…..a fatal heart attack around age 75 caused by withdrawal when you learn that some death panel has ruled that you’re ineligible for the drug due to age.
…you live long enough that Helen Thomas starts looking good.
My doctor prescribed resveratrol and I found I was getting old. So then, he gave me Forgitital which I couldn’t remember to take. So he put me on Bangyoheadadeine and I developed headaches. When I told him about feeling hopeless and wanting a change, he put me on Obamacare – and I died.
…sex being like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
(Stole that from George Burns)
120 year olds looking hot.
…having to shoo hipsters off of your lawn.
…having to shoo hippies off of your lawn.
75 years of wondering what was worth living another 75 years for
…paranoid delusions that roving death panels are after you…
150? OMG I may be able t retire after all. At about 125.
Having obama pres for that length of time
… getting Alzheimers, losing your memory and intelligence, and becoming a DemoCrap.
…having to raise 7 generations of your irresponsible children’s kids.
… having to be in your crypt everyday before sunrise.
Wondering if you’ll make it to 151.
…you get so wrinkled that Obama’s grandkids will probably mistake you for a Shar-Pei and eat you.
…the desire and need to wander around outside during thunderstorms, and the bolts in your neck of course.
…the screams of the people who seem to object to you eating their livers.
…a re-evaluation of the old saying: If you’re 20 and a Republican, you have no heart, it you’re 60 and a Democrat, you have no brain, if you’re 150 and not a libertarian, you probably work for the government.
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