Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The funniest thing Obama said at the Gridiron Club Press Dinner…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The funniest thing Obama said at the Gridiron Club Press Dinner…
…: “I am not a dictator”.
…I intend to follow the example of Pope-emeritus Benedict….
…raise taxes? That’s kookie talk…
… I’ve been speaking long enough… I don’t just want to drone on here….
…I notice Bob Woodward isn’t here…. guess he got the message…
“My fellow Americans…”
…the next round is on Bloomberg… Super Big Gulps all around.
I’d like to thank all the welders that make that made this event possible. Making gridirons has been providing Americans with good union jobs. Jobs that I personally create or save by coming to these events.
…I really did try to bow out of this speaking engagement….
..I care about America.
…I can take a joke.
…my lovely wife, Michelle.
…could somebody please pass the Dog Meat?
mmm yum yum and I’ll try a little of that Snake Meat too.
…when I heard I was going to speak at the Gridiron I asked Michelle if that wasn’t where the White House sent my shirts to be pressed.
…I have to say that my warmest memories are of summer days spent with my dad in Chicago at that other great gridiron, Lambert Fields, watching the Bears take on the Yankees and catching a foul-tip punt from Stan “The Can” Musical.
…the Force is great Dr. Spock, set Lightphasers to stun.
…no, no..heh, heh, heh…the smoke coming from under the door in my suite does not mean the Catholics have elected a new pope…heh heh.
“Let me be clear. The time is now, and I will speak from the heart. We have system rebooting loading text enter password…”
…when we fight I always let the wo— Michelle win.
…when is the dog served.
You guys are just rented mules… I can beat you all like one if I want to.
…and then Pelosi said with a straight face…. well with all that Botox how else could she say it…
“….. and when I finish here, I’m going to get right down to business and develop a balanced budget, look for places where we can cut reckless spending and create some jobs!”
it’s important for organizations like this to continue to support football because without football we wouldn’t have the constant supply of citizens with head injuries to keep voting for candidates like me. you know… where I come from, “football” is what we call what you Americans call soccer.
anybody got any choom?
…take my wife…. please!
…was “Do you guys do waffle irons?”
… was “you know I love nothing better than to go shotgunning with Joe”
… was how much he looked forward to comparing Michelle’s booty to Beyonce’s
…if you think the problems I’ve caused are bad, just wait until you see my solutions.
uh uh uh er uhI want you all to know that uh uh uh er uhI love ironing grids, and that joey and uh uh uh er uh I press grids all the time.uh uh uh er uh Ioften travel to Camp David to iron grids. so let me be clear, uh uh uh er uh I am not trying to take your grids away from you, and that you should be able to hunt grids, uh uh uh er uhI am just saying we need sensible uh uh uh er uh regulations of grids.
…”Fore!”
“Don’t taz me. bro!”
is “Free Press” an oxymoron or a non sequitor? Whatev
We all need to pay more attention to which office windows are really doors now that “Biden’s got a gun”
its a good thing I’m at this event because my other plan was to go play a round of golf in my home state.
you like me! you really really like me!
…I just flew in from the golf course, and boy are the taxpayers arms tired.
…So a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar and the bartender goes BOOM!!!! Ha Ha and they had mixed drinks. On the house. Down the street. Ha Ha I don’t get it either.
…My foreign policy? Talk like a stud but make sure my Sec. of State is a horse of a different color.
…And then Michelle says does this alternate universe make my butt look fat? And then Michael Moore says does that first ladies butt make me look this skinny or am I just glad to see her?
…And God says Just the one wish My son, and I’m all like well I’m God now so it’s all good and here we are folks me being all worshiped and stuff and it sure sucks not to be me don’t it?
…enough about me. Let’s talk about me.
…was, “Excuse me while I scratch Michelle’s ass.”
… No, Really. My approach WILL be balanced…
Why worry about drone strikes? As long as the worker bees stay on the job, who cares if the drones go on strike?
… you are all doing jobs that I would not allow my son to do.
…safe sex? You know how Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down? Michelle got a Weeble booty and a bungie cord. And our safe word is “Who let the dog in?”
…Tiger Woods just gave me a new set of clubs when we played togther, and I have to tell you that the grid iron is my favorite club now.
…..Since you are all members of the press, I trust you’ve already written glowing reports about the speech I’m about to give.
@26 and @41 – my personal cheers…
… Oh, and @13. . . .
…was when he referred to Biden as the brains of his administration.
“… and I conclude my speech with the reminder that I have my finger on the drones, and if you do not write complimentary enough articles about me…
….now take MY budget proposal….wait a minute!! I swear had it here just a minute ago, honest! Alright, who took my homework so I couldn’t turn it in?
…now take my wife — please!
So, Doctor, does it hurt when I do this? No? How about NOW!?
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