Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Upon hearing that poverty in the US was at a 50-year high, Obama…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Upon hearing that poverty in the US was at a 50-year high, Obama…
…went to his choom room to work on his 50-year high.
…blamed both Bush 41 and Bush 43.
…raised his mission accomplished banner…
…went and played another round of golf…
…declared poverty and all words describing it to be illegal, then giving a press conference where TOTUS declared the end of poverty in america…
…sliced his shot and ended the hole one over par.
…decided to level the playing field.
…decided to level the playing field…. by making everybody poor.
…raised his pay fifty percent to make sure he wasn’t contributing to this problem.
went to Vegas for a party.
…said, “Free loans for everybody!” Oh, wait, this was supposed to be something that didn’t really happen, right?
… said “it’s a good start”.
… pointed out how much worse it would have been without him.
high-fived his buddies Chomsky, Choward, Pilven, and Marx.
Celebrated with a golfing tour of Europe. (His wife and daughters went on their own separate vacations.)
…increased taxes on everyone to handle the growing number of those in poverty.
hit the snooze button and rolled over
blamed bush and went golfing with john roberts
…said, “Hakuna Matata.”
…called a cabinet meeting and asked what the problem was, he expected to be the best, and if they couldn’t get poverty levels to an ALL TIME high he’d find someone that could!!
…went to his chambers, and using his communication device, summoned the emperor to report that the plan was working, and his victory over the earth was near complete. Upon hearing the news, the emperor renamed Obama to Darth Poverty.
…played with his dog, dribbled a bit of drool down his chin and smiled while the adults tried to figure out what to do about it
…sent a text to Kim Jong Un asking how to make those awesome videos showing prosperity where there actually isn’t any
…began crank calling Mitt Romney
…called Joe Biden into his office and asked “that’s good, isn’t it?”
…held a fund raising concert at the White House.
…said we must raise taxes
…shot skeet
said, “let ’em eat cake”
checked that off his list
…checked off that item on his “To Do” list.
replied, “what, me worry?”
…shook his head an said “That’s just terrible” as he cut another piece of Kobe Beef and just before he sent Michelle and the kids to Europe for Spring Break.
…threatened to bomb N Korea with a nerf grenade.
…declared pigs to be more equal.
Upon hearing that poverty in the US was at a 50-year high, Obama said “WTF took so long? I hope bringing it to up to an 85 year high won’t be so much work“.
Is it really “poverty” when you can basically sign up to be “poor” and get everything for free?
. . . smiled as TV, radio, newspaper, and magazine reporters worked long and hard to present this as either “no big deal,” “Republicans’ fault,” or “actually a good thing, and a brilliant economic strategy by Obama.”
…hoped that all his horses and all his men could put things back together again.
… said “I … I … me … my … I … me”
..pinched himself
Upon hearing that poverty in the US was at a 50-year high, Obama…
Set out determined to beat that record!
…ate a dog.
Replied, “I have a dream, that my two girls will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the content of their character but by the content of their bank account.”
…waxed poetic about growing up in poverty as he did and spoke about how now more people than ever could aspire to be more like him.
…declared that poor people were just trying to make him look bad because they’re all racists.
…capered like Hitler hearing that France had fallen, knowing he had secured the future of the Democratic party.
…called a press conference and promised to get the poverty level back down to even with his job approval level…..
went to Hollywood for a fundraiser and complained about the 1%
Blamed the second term economy on JEB Bush!
Apologised for the fault in the report. Those responsible have been sacked.
[But without a job those who have been sacked will add to the poverty level]
He then apologised again for the fault in the report and announced those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.
[Are you daft? That only adds to the poverty level]
He then announced: the principals of the firm hired to report on the poverty level after the other people had been sacked, have just been sacked.
The Poverty Report has been unexpectedly revised at great taxpayer expense and at the last minute.
Obama then claimed he too was 5% poorer and felt your pain.
…blurted out that it’s not size that matters but how you use it and then bragged that he got it up didn’t he and he could keep it up.
…said the science! was settled, Global Warming melted all the money!
…commissioned 50 billion dollars to study the sex lives of brainless Obama voters.
…smiled, and said, “Oh good, more Democrats!”
held a press conference to blame it on the mess he inherited from Eisenhower.
…said, “But if the level goes down all the people I hired to monitor the situation will lose their jobs… You didn’t think of that didya?”
stifled employers, raised payroll taxes, and tripled health insurance costs.” –Antijoke Bubba–
…passed an executive order changing how poverty is calculated and who is counted
…said that since the numbers include a lot of minorities, the study is RACIST!!11!!
…said that the number was inaccurate because it included a lot of millionaires and billionaires who are “doing just fine”
…said “in your FACE, Jimmy Carter!!!!”
…tried to perform a Jedi Mind Meld by casually waving his hand and saying “Poverty in the US is NOT at a 50-year high”
…said “well, it’s still much lower than most other countries”.
…said “high? high is good, right? Like…woo! high score!!! right?”
…said “how much higher do I need to get it to get to enter my initials into the high score page?”
…looked over at Reverend Wright and said “Hey Reverend….America’s CHICKENZZZZZZZZZZZ are coming home to roost!!!”
… said that poverty in the US is at a 57-year high.
… asked to be allowed to be clear, since he was about to make a speech on the subject.
… was aroused (not a synonym for concerned)
… looked up “poverty” in the dictionary.
… said “Yeah, I know: Debbie Wasserman Schultz has already mentioned how her aides who make over $100,000 a year are being “priced out” of the carry-out cafe in the Cannon Office Building.”
… realized that he had done ten times more to reduce the number of chubby kids in this country than Michelle ever would.
… declared “We must fight this poverty of our country with a poverty of ideas!”
…preemptively attacked North Korea in what the military named Operation: SQUIRREL!!!!!!!
…said. “another for the records. highest unemployment, highest debt, and now highest poverty. But it’s okay because I brought hope, change, and a sense of community to America. If you don’t believe me, check the stats and you’re a racist.”
…started passing out free knee pads and mats for the Muslim morning call to prayer. 🙁
Upon hearing that poverty in the U.S. was at a 50-year high, Obama…said, “‘War on Poverty,’ my ass Lyndon Johnson. Check out my ‘War on Prosperity’, bitch.”
Upon hearing that poverty in the US was at a 50-year high, Obama…remarked, “…and they say I didn’t accomplish anything as president.”
hired Beyonce’ and Justin Timberlake to celebrate.
Upon hearing that poverty in the US was at a 50-year high, Obama…turned to his economic advisors and said, “C’mon, guys! I thought we were shooting for triple digits?!”
Upon hearing that poverty in the US was at a 50-year high, Obama…exclaimed, “Hey, that’s lower than my golf score! This presidency gig’s fun!”
Apllied to Guinness records for verification of his record
…decided he could tax the poor into prosperity.
…thought same-sex marriage could fix this.
……went to a 5 star golf course to play a few games with Tiger Woods and Michele and the girls went to London and Paris to stay at the lovely hotels just visited by Biden and his entourage.
Wait a minute …………….
@Manolo, #54, 220, 221, Whatever it takes.
… coined the phrase “Prosperity is just around the coroner.”
… earned the title “The Bobbie McGee Presidency.”
… declared that people in extreme poverty were by definition “extremists,” and could safely be ignored.
did what he’s been doing for the past four years. Nothing.
…figured it was high time to start confiscating rich peoples guns.
… complained that no one ever catches on to his dry ironic sense of humor, like the way he proclaimed April “National Financial Capability Month.”
..George Bush, George Bush, George Bush, George Bush, George Bush, George Bush, George Bush, George Bush, George Bush, George Bush, George Bush, Geeorge Buush!!
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Chomsky, Cloward, Piven, and Marx : Would you trust a law firm like that? Maybe we can just nickname Obama “Coomski.” My brain is just too tired this fine Monday…. 🙁