Straight Line of the Day: Joe Biden Took Out a Second Mortgage. What’s He Need the Money For?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Joe Biden took out a second mortgage. What’s he need the money for?

62 Comments

  1. Joe Biden took out a second mortgage. What’s he need the money for?

    Hey! Isn’t the VP’s house owned by the state?

    Exile don’t come cheap.

    Because Joe knows the best things in life are free.

    I guess those pictures of the Armenian Dwarf hookers finally showed up.

    Obama keeps hitting him up for a few bucks, greens fees keep going up. Something to do with health insurance costs or some such nonsense.

    I don’t know, Joe don’t know, Hell, it’s Washington! Nobody knows jack about what happens there.

    He might get the money for nothing, but the Chicks ain’t free anymore.

  2. Joe Biden took out a second mortgage. What’s he need the money for?

    He heard Venezuela was having a toilet paper shortage and he didn’t want to get caught short when it happened here.

    One word…Bitcoins.

    You’re a very nosy fellow, kitty cat. Huh? You know what happens to nosy fellows? Huh? No? Wanna guess? Huh? No? Okay. They lose their noses.

  3. Chocolate bullets. He keeps eating them before he can load them in his shotgun and shoot them through the door and off the balcony.

    He isn’t getting outrageous speaking fees and kickbacks like the “smart” politicians…although Soros made him a nice offer to stay out of sight and keep his mouth closed but he couldn’t manage to pull it off.

    More chocolate bullets, everyone loves chocolate.

  4. He took New England plus 42 points in the last Super Bowl.

    He just realized that he is married to a soon to be hair plug heiress and he needs to borrow Michelle’s boob belt to get his prostate into his pants.

    Glenn Beck won’t get him a discount on Food Insurance’s bulk purchases.

    He drinks so much coffee that he figured Juan, his groundskeeper, deserved a raise.

    Life is hard. Harder if you’re stupid, but cash in your pocket puts you on Easy Street in Liberalville.

  5. Joe Biden took out a second mortgage. What’s he need the money for?

    He’s fixin’ a hole where the rain gets in and stops his mind from wandering where it will go…

    Hey, Have you seen the price for Bacon these days?

    Money! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again!

    Money? Is that what it is? What will they think of next? Probably some device that preslices bread.

  6. Joe Biden took out a second mortgage. What’s he need the money for?

    Well money can’t get everything it’s true, but what it can’t get he can’t use!

    He’s underwater on his first one.

    He doesn’t need the money for anything, he just loves those Moneytree commercials.

    He just loves the ching-a-ling-a-ling in his pockets.

    Why does anyone need money? Hookers and Blow.

  7. He’s opening an Uncle Joe’s Tattoo Removal By Shotgun clinic in Baltimore.

    He totally misunderstood the concept of student loans and is being sued for sexual harassment by every member of the senior class of Bryn Mawr.

  8. Joe Biden took out a second mortgage. What’s he need the money for?

    We may never know but future historians may wonder about the sudden drop in the supply of Twinkies*

    *Not those Twinkies, those twinkies. wink wink.

  9. …to pay the hush money to the IRS so his presidential run doesn’t get “uncomfortable”

    …to physically pull the Cayman Islands onto Florida so his bank accounts are no longer “offshore”

    …it’s a payoff to Putin so John Kerry doesn’t have to wait like an idiot anymore

    …he’s buying property along the N-S Korean demilitarized zone because he heard that will be the new coast line soon

    …he’s supporting the love child he had with Sandra Fluke, and making sure free birth control stays in Obamacare

    …all those front doors ain’t free

    …he thinks he’s figured out what the 3-card Monte dealer is doing, and needs to get his money back

  10. Payoff to Mr T who he sicced the IRS on when he had that party.

    His baby mama needs a new pair of shoes.

    His coloring book was hacked by the Russian mob.

    To try out the advice he got reading The Idiots Guide To Wealth Redistribution.

  11. He’s got to pay off Seal Team Six to do a ‘very important job’ for him.
    It involves a brain, a suspected kidnapping and where Joe’s miniscule grey matter went-off-to, in such a huff.
    Film at Eleven…………..

  12. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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