80 Comments

  1. . . . the extension of the infield fly rule to include all flies, regardless of the number of outs, number of runners on base, and whether they can be caught by an infielder while facing home plate.

  2. President Obama is planning a no-fly zone over Syria, which will include…

    …telling the Syrian Air Force to “Stand down”.

    …a tax hike on the rich for fairness.

    …a provision excluding Bill Clinton from the restrictions.

    …those icky things with guns on them. What do you call them, Aeroplanes?

    …bullets

    …a surprise set of living room furniture behind either Door Number 1, Door Number 2 or Door Number 3!

    …flying monkeys, just in case.

    …things that don’t fly, for inclusivity sake.

  3. President Obama is planning a no-fly zone over Syria, which will include…

    … O la paloma blanca, I’m just a bird in the sky.O la paloma blanca, over the mountains I fly. Yes, no one can take my freedom away.
    BANG!

  4. President Obama is planning a no-fly zone over Syria, which will include…

    ..Joe Biden with a double-barrel shotgun to enforce it.

    …wasps, mosquitos; all flying bugs, actually.

    …the pants in the family that Michelle wears.

    …a whole case of Levi 501 blue jeans.

  5. President Obama is planning a no-fly zone over Syria, which will include…

    …an overwhelming US Military Air presence guaranteed to keep everything air worthy on the ground. What? Sequester? Never mind.

  6. President Obama is planning a no-fly zone over Syria, which will include…

    ..a requirement that all ice cream cones be eaten with a spoon, along with a total ban on boardwalk football-toss games and jumpshots in basketball.

  7. President Obama is planning a no-fly zone over Syria, which will include…

    …laughter from the Syrians.

    …a faildozer.

    …having to move all the Syrian landfills to undisclosed locations in the US.

    …teleprompters.

    …no interruptions for the Syrians and Russians while they get their missiles armed and fully operational.

    …alloted time so Obama can squeeze in 36 holes.

  8. . . . singing the following words (I think that they appear in a novel by Dan Jenkins, but I could be wrong):

    (to the tune of God Save the King/My Country, ‘Tis of Thee)

    There ain’t no flies on us,
    There ain’t no flies on us,
    No flies on us.
    There might be one or two
    Great big green flies on you;
    There ain’t no flies on us,
    No flies on us.

  9. …Ron O’Neil, unless he shows up as Youngblood Priest, AKA Super Fly.

    …Tea Party members in the United States who can and will be preemptively killed before they have time to make plans to fly anywhere.

    …rainbow farts unless they have the official Presidential Seal.

    …any buzzards that have recently fed on pig carcasses and have not washed their beaks.

    …Al Roker, unless he is there to collect donatons for Democrats and he spends the whole flight locked in that little bathroom.

  10. President Obama is planning a no-fly zone over Syria, which will include…

    …Mick “Mankind” Foley reprising Hell In A Cell for the championship belt and the urn containing the ashes of Classy Freddie Blassie.

  11. … A picture of a plane with a circle slash around it. It will function as well as no-gun zones and cost 18 billion dollars.

    (Also, when it fails, he can sue plane manufactuers and decry the pilot lobby).

  12. You people make me sick!!This is NOT a JOKE!! I KNOW FUNNY and THIS AIN’T IT!!!!I’ve worked with BEN STILLER!!!I KNOW FUNNY AND DON’T YOU FORGET THAT!!!!PRESIDENT Obama WILL see that this no-fly zone in Searya will be naturally populated with venus flytraps and native gekkos as a green preventative!!Flies carry diseases and if they are to be eliminated from a food cycle it should be done naturally and NOT by a deathdealing corporation like MONSANTO with its fatal FRANKENFOOD!!!Geeze, I go away to location and do a little v/o work and you people loose your ittybitty minds!!!!You guys are like a shortbus full of special needs kids let loose in a city park without proper supervision!!!Get a grip if you can!!!

  13. President Obama is planning a no-fly zone over Syria, which will include…

    … banning photo ops with Air Force 1 buzzing Damascus.

    … drones targeting anyone who displays a Gadsden Flag.

    … Eric Holder conducting a closed-door meeting about how transparently the No-Fly Zone Commission has been operating.

    … a sternly worded letter warning everyone that he is serious.

    … dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them. Or maybe that’s just some bloggers’ dream or something.

    … orders that the IRS audit anyone who violates it.

    … borrowing 500 billion dollars from China and spending it on windmill-powered rocket launchers that only work intermittently.

  14. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.