72 Comments

  1. … a strike against the backs of matchbooks.

    … a jihad against Buckyballs.

    … steel cage death match against molybdenum.

    … a surprise winter attack on argon / an assault on the rhenium.

    … a stupid, futile resistance to krypton.

    … a xenon warrior princess.

    … a rhodium scholar / a wizard of osmium.

  2. A White House climate adviser said we need a “war on coal“. Also needed:…

    …a crack battalion of Economic Suicides

    …an appreciation of how well most governmental “War on’s” have turned out.

  3. … coal war diplomacy, and peace talks with coal; followed by an apology from Obama and reparations to coal.

    … a plaque made for this advisor’s house, when he is inside freezing during the winter:
    “World’s First Karmakazi.”

  4. @18 – Non-union Twinkies are coming back, Miss Anony. But they won’t be as good as your cookies. You know how you can tell that? Cookies eventually mold; Twinkies will be around for thousands of years, just like Big Macs. Wait..

  5. A White House Climate Adviser Said We Need a “War On Coal”. Also needed:…

    some one to bitchslap some sense into the White House.

    more hookers, what the Hell.

    [As an aside, the OED lists a slang definition for coal as “Money”. Rather ironic in this context.]

  6. @34 Silly. 🙂 You’re always funny…and very clever. That’s why I love my job 🙂

    I offered you a cookie because you were sounding a little grumpy and your language was a bit more colorful than usual.

    I wanted to make you feel better.

    Fine. If you insist, you can have two.

    Don’t spoil your lunch! 😛

  7. …a war on the energy people waste fighting the war on coal.

    …a war on the Pointer Sisters and their evil Neutron Dance song, long live the solar panel waltz.

    …a war on paying your own electric bill.

    …a war on coal miners taking showers.

  8. . . . a war on truth – oh, wait, the Obama administration is already waging that one!

    . . . a war on cole slaw and potato salad and all picnic foods

    . . . a war on fun – oops, both Obama and Bloomberg are waging that one!

    . . . a good five-cent cigar

    . . . more whiskey! Fresh horses for my men!

    . . . love (just ask Burt Bacharach and Hal David)

  9. By the way Oppo, there is a website called Woot! that has a blog section where he has a pun contest each week (Mon. or Tue. I think). Those guys are a bit too clever for me to go against but you or others here might have a good time.

  10. . . . a Blitzkrieg against bitumen, an airstrike against anthracite, a kinetic action against culm, a coalition of UN forces against clinkers, and a sternly worded resolution against stoke (don’t make us send Hillary).

  11. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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