Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
“At this point, what difference does it make?”
“Unfair. Unbalanced. UnFranked.”
“With Liberty and Bacon for All”
I’M A WHOLE…. just don’t say it too fast.
IMBO – In My Bacon’s Opinion
AAB – Audited AND Bugged
The Boil On The Ass Of Stupidity
(No particular reason, I just always liked that tag line)
“Not the rabbit. The other one.”
“Livin’ the dream!”
“Unfair, Unbalanced. Under Surveillance.”
“In the land of liberals, the moron is king.”
“Making liberals angry since 10:30 am last Tuesday.”
“Raunchy. Racist. Reactionary.”
Bacon! Cookes! Potatoes!
“Conservative Women Are Hot!”
“Imposing, Impetuous, Invisible.”
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
…Huh? What? It’s Tuesday?
…Liberty and Bacon for all!
…New and Improved, with 100% less Frank!
…Meet the new Boss, same as the old Boss.
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
…Where spelling counts, for some mysterious reason.
…To Infinity and BEYOND!
…Harvey, the new Al Haig.
…Let Freedom Ring! Or at least text.
~~~~~
~~~~~
~~~~~
“Broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn’t ya you bastard!”
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
… YGDFT!YLTATSOTE
… Frank my dear, I don’t give a damn!
unfair. unbalanced. unshaven.
I AM HARVEY. FEAR MY WRATH
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
…I like big butts and I cannot lie…
…One Baconation under God.
…I, Mao
I am Harvey, the Great and Terrible
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
…Go ahead, make my day.
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
…We are here to blathe
…Whatever it is, I’m against it.
…If I told you that you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
I am not an Pooka, I am a human being.
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
…Yesterday’s headlines, today’s laughs.
Quisnam Igitur Sanus
Keep Calm and Carry Bacon
Store In A Cool Dry Place
Here There Be Bacons
Night Of The Living Unread
This Is A Dark Ride
whaddya mean, “where’s frank? who’s frank?”
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
…Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night!
…We came, We saw, We left.
…All of us are in the gutter, some of us are looking at the stars.
Home of the Half-Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy
Frank ‘n Wienie
(no offense intended)
Life in PRISM Without Parole
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
When you find your antagonist beginning to grow warm, put an end to the dispute by some genteel badinage.
A joke is a very serious thing.
the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.
People of humor are always in some degree people of genius.
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
[Clever witticism to be inserted later.]
…Irish, Please use other entrance
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
…Just like Dennis Miller, only less edgy.
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
…changed as often as a diaper.
Unpaid, Unleashed, Unappreciated
The Eve of Distraction
The Grateful Read
… #1 Site for Carpenter Rants!
… Teh Funny Strange or Teh Funny Ha-Ha
… Yippee Ki Yay [insert euphemism for IRS]
When are you going back to normal straight lines, like “Instead of Jimmy Hoffa the FBI dug up….”
Wait . . . Obama Ate A Dog?
Unappreciat [ed]. Unrefin [ed]. Unwill ing.
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
…Smarter than the average Bear.
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
…Like a stream of Bats piss.
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
Inigo Montoya’s Angry Oracle
Inigo Montoya’s Alter Ogre
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
Starting and winning land wars in Asia since 2013.
…We love Libertarians. Especially Ron Paul.
…”no shirt, no shoes, no sex!”
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
Eventus stultorum magister.
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
Apply to affected area.
Unruly. Unwashed. Unusual.
Everyday, in every way… I’m getting better and better…
Blog Host Busters…. Who ya gonna call.
“KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!”
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
My Precious
Harvey-up, the Un-Imao
Don’t tell dad!
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
We miss Frank.
. . . Nuke the (Chicago) Bears
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
No more wire hangers!
Who’s your Daddy!
Tony Danza, unemployed.
Now you know the rest of the story.
. . . No Irish Need Apply
…”We’re Here To Serve… The Irish! (Swedes use back door.)”
Some Ronin Charges May Apply
…Left the Gun, Took the Wookie. Dagnabbit.
…Agnostic about the impossible, a true believer in implausible deniability, never late for dinner.
That’s Just Crazy Talk
…”Things will get out of control. They will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.”
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
One from column A and One from column Bacon.
Forget it Jake, it’s IMAO.
Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.
We’re crossing the streams!
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
So run, you cur… RUN! Tell all the other curs the law’s comin’!
You tell ’em I’M coming… and hell’s coming with me, you hear?…
Hell’s coming with me!
Harvey in charge, why even Frank bailed.
BOHICA
…Libtard-ishness limits enforced by aircraft
Double Secret Probation
IMAO
FUBAR!
Didn’t franc used to be some kind of French money that got dumped because the euro was better
“Ich bin ein Berliner!! Hitler is more popular in Germany than Obama now.
….Frank, we don’t need no freaken’ Frank.
….. The truth, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!!!!
…..IMAO The best of the best of the best.
….”Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow.”
… When your enemy is making a mistake, don’t interrupt him!
… “Silence!”
… “You’re lack of faith disturbs me.”
… “As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.”
… Harrumph. Harrumph. Harrumph.
… “Wait’ll they get a load of me!”
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
IMAO, The stuff dreams are made of.
DON’T PANIC
… to inequity and beyond!
With Harvey in charge, IMAO’s new tagline should be…
With God as my witness I thought Turkeys could fly!
@8 WomEN? You mean like plural? 🙂
@85 – Face the sad truth, Nonny, Jimmy’s just not a one-woman kind of guy.
Maybe you should start crushing on me. I’m painfully monogamous, plus I’ve been told I’m really good in the… uh… kitchen, and I could help you… um… bake cookies…
@86 Wait. You want me to start crushing on you and you’re MARRIED?
You called me “Nonny”. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
@87 – Not sure what rumor mill you’re getting your data from, but I’m quite single. Crush away.
And I apologize for calling you “Nonny”, that was presumptuous, overfamiliar, and condescending. Sorry about that, Kitten 😀
Before Miss Anon sets to “crushin’ ” she should consider just why a man in his 50s is quite single….perhaps beard carries more than one meaning.
Huh.
Frank leaves for one day and all of a sudden you’re Casanova.
Ok fine. I’ll play along.
What qualifications do you have that make you worthy of my affections?
@89 – a) 46, b) do I detect a whiff of jealousy from a man whose chin-carpet potential consists of a thin, scraggly patchwork of near-hairless disappointment? Try swapping your Aqua-Velva for Rogaine, thou baby-faced wretch :-{>
@90 – Qualifications? Only one, Kitten…
I have unlimited authority over the vast realm of IMAO and the madness of absolute power has already consumed me.
Join me, and together, we can rule the blogosphere as Overlord and Empress!
Jealousy? Bwahahahahahahahaha! Clearly a nerve was struck in that you chose to make your comedically chest-thumping, beard-bragging reply to my post first rather than to that of Miss Anon.
Quite telling, beard.
@92 “Kitten”, huh? “Empress”, huh?
HUH.
Here’s a tag line suggestion:
Unshaven. Unhinged. Unlikely.
@93….but I *do* like cookies….
Hmm.
What does an Empress get to do??
@94 – Your beard’s so weak, you make Justin Bieber look like Zach Galifianakis
@95 – Well, if there’s anything I’ve learned from watching bad reality TV shows, it’s that chicks dig power.
So, as Her Infinite Majesty Empress Kitten the First, you will have the privilege of choosing which of our court jesters will be permitted to entertain us, and which get heaved into the Janeane Garofalo Memorial Dungeon of Unfunniness to live out the rest of their miserable existences in chains while being forced to watch “Real Time With Bill Maher” reruns.
Also, you not only get to mercilessly wield the Grammar Hammer, but you’ll also get to use the Carpenter Cudgel against trolling miscreants who provide negative entertainment value.
Oh, and did I mention you get a Vulcan EV60-SS6FP24G240 60” electric range with 6 9.5″ round French hot plates w/infinite controls, a 24” griddle made of polished steel plate, thermostat controls, (2) standard ovens, with all-stainless steel front, sides, and single deck high shelf?
Hmmm.
This one? http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0087OEIAY
I think I’m in love. 😛
What kind of cookies should we make first, you sweet co-dictator, you???
@97 – Yes… THAT one…
Naturally, my sweet Overlady, it’s your choice. I would, of course, recommend something with bacon as a token of our benevolent rule, but whatever gifts you choose to bestow with your perfect, delicate hands will, unquestionably, be adored by the masses, much as you, yourself, are.
Sweet talk.
I like it. :0)
I wanted to try adding bacon to my snickerdoodles. Yummy. When can we start?
Where are you hiding my new beautiful range? Your house?
So do I get a crown and a big ruffley dress or what? Hmm. How about jewels?
I like sparkly things.
@99 – I’m thinking of giving you England’s Crown Jewels. I’m sure I can sweet-talk the hordes of Irish that are always mucking about here to steal them for me – anything to make the Brits look enfeebled, ya know.
Any, how’s this dress, my enchantress? Ruffly enough?
http://weheartit.com/entry/54316359?pgx=InfiniteScroll
@100 Perfect 🙂
And I LOVE the color.
Hmm. I’ll be needing a huge kitchen to fit both that range and that dress at the same time. I wonder if there is a palace available somewhere nearby?
And I’ll be needing an apron.
When I bake…I get so excited I tend to get flour and stuff all over the place 🙂
I’m sure I can sweet-talk the hordes of Irish that are always mucking about here..
With that kind of condescending, Celtiphobic cheek, it’s not sodding likely. Sooner that Gandolfini makes a live appearance in a Sopranos reunion movie.
Stick with the delusion that lutefisk is a palatable dish.
Oh, BTW, Bossman, the Horch still needs washing and waxing and I’d like to give the wheelman the day off, so be a gent and grab a big yellow sponge and have some fun.
[spins up The Ramones Leave Home, pours some 50 year old Macallan, lights a Fuente, reclines in an Adirondack.]
I tell you, it’s tough finding good, ambitious help these days.
Release the Kraken…………….
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Now who needs to get a room!
@86: I’m here to report that, according to science, 1/4 of males on this planet have the “monogamous gene.”
Lemme check…
Hey, I’m not the kind that kisses and tells, you know.
@104 You’re absolutely right.
Could you tell my sweet Unshaven Usurper that he needs to get one immediately? It’s gotta be big enough for my new range http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0087OEIAY and my new dress http://weheartit.com/entry/54316359?pgx=InfiniteScroll at the same time.
I can’t wait to get baking! 😛
Oops @107 should say @105.
@ 106 HUH.
Well, my Bearded Big Wig has it. 🙂
@107 – I’ll send him a message smeared in bacon grease and belly button fuzz!
Hey, the guy is trying to muscle in on my Internet woman. 👿
@110 – Can’t help it if I have huge, ripply muscles that push other men out of the way…
Now…. Empress Kitten needs a palace…
*peeks over wall, counts 60 men guarding the gate*
Piece of cake. Just need to grab me a wheelbarrow and a Holocaust Cloak. BRB…
@111 Have fun storming the castle!
Do you think he’ll make it?
*Palace horns announcing victory*
“Guards, take him to the dungeon and lock him in irons!”
“But sir, there be a strange affliction of the muscles he has, they be all rippling about like a bloody snake! and he says his name be ‘Harvey, Lord of the Swedes.’ What, pray tell, should we do about the awful affliction, my good sire?”
“Ripply muscles? From here on, he shall be called ‘Ripply’… and put him in with the hag… that Pelosi creature… and we’ll see how long his muscles ripple about.”
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