Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
A phone with a direct connection to NSA
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
a cookie app.
…iEye – a prosthetic competitor for Google Glasses.
…iNado – When you want the data cloud to go Cat 5…
…the iWant. A communication device for Obama supporters.
…a Spidey-sense app.
…the iSpy for NSA employees
…the iLid. An iPhone incorporated into a hat.
…iNuendo – A social media ap for sexting….
…iMAO – wait, somone call the lawyers!
… iSharknado.
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
The left fielder, Manny…nny…ny Mota…Mota…aaaa……
… is a complement to the Mac Pro line: Mac Amateur. Better known as “Dell”.
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iLIFE which imitates you so completely on the web that you no longer need to exist is real life.
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iClaudius Live like a deranged Roman Emperor!
.. the iSpouse.
Humanity is doomed.
(@16: On the other hand, Apple is kind of known for taking other people’s failed or unfulfilled concepts and making them work, so…)
… electronic moniTouring bracelets. (You can tell they’re harmless, because they have the fun term “Touring” capitalized rebelliously in the middle of the word)
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iAy, ay, ay, ay! oh, I am dee Frito Bandito!
… cybernetic implants. Now you don’t have to work at being smug, it will be a part of you!
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iOCAINE powder for those duels to the DEATH!
…iNstantkarma – You were wanting a Russian Roulette app, right?
… a slew of tech and business journalists claiming that they will all be “failures” before having even seen one.
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iCANTTHINKOFANYTHINGFUNNYBUTSTILLWANTCOOKIES app.
… iEvade, a suite of apps for OS X and iOS that will allow you to legally exploit the loopholes in tax law to hide your income from taxation.
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iLOVEU Just because.
Eh. Claudius was more like the Linux of his generation — underestimated, underutilized, but had his cult fans…
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iOFSAURON Because they WILL be watching everything you do.
… Apple apologized for any delays in products reaching the market, but they needed the extra time to stop laughing at “Surface” sales.
@27 But that wouldn’t have been as funny.
…iCanDoAnythingBetterThanYou – Competitive social media app. (Devlopers note: Crashes when baking a pie.)
Consistent Cookies to walruskkkch. 🙂 Now calm down, sweetheart. No need to get so worked up. 🙂
…i-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I — Teleprompter app for the current POTUS
@32 was in response to @24, btw.
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iWONDER, wonder who, who-oo-ooh, who
(Who wrote the Book Of Love)
Tell me, tell me, tell me
Oh, who wrote the Book Of Love
I’ve got to know the answer
Was it someone from above
(Oh, iWONDER, wonder who, mmbadoo-ooh, who)
(Who wrote the Book Of Love)
I love you darlin’
Baby, you know I do
But I’ve got to see this Book of Love
Find out why it’s true
(Oh, iWONDER, wonder who, mmbadoo-ooh, who)
(Who wrote the Book Of Love)
(Chapter One says to love her)
(You love her with all your heart)
(Chapter Two you tell her you’re)
(Never, never, never, never, never gonna part)
(In Chapter Three remember the meaning of romance)
(In Chapter Four you break up
(But you give her just one more chance))
(Oh, iWONDER, wonder who, mmbadoo-ooh, wWho)
(Who wrote the Book Of Love)
Baby, baby, baby
I love you, yes I do
Well it says so in this Book Of Love
Ours is the one that’s true
(Oh, iWONDER, wonder who, mmbadoo-ooh, who)
(Who wrote the Book Of Love)
(Chapter One says to love her)
(You love her with all your heart)
(Chapter Two you tell her you’re)
(Never, never, never, never, never gonna part)
(In Chapter Three remember the meaning of romance)
(In Chapter Four you break up
(But you give her just one more chance)
(Oh, iWONDER, wonder who, mmbadoo-ooh, Who)
(Who wrote the Book Of Love)
Baby, baby, baby
I love you, yes I do
Well it says so in this Book Of Love
Ours is the one that’s true
(Oh, iWONDER, wonder who, mmbadoo-ooh, who)
(Who wrote the Book Of Love)
iWONDER who (yeah)
Who wrote the Book Of Love
@32 As long as they aren’t iCOOKIES.
… the iCandy. It doesn’t do much, but it sure looks pretty hanging on your arm.
… the new iPod Nano, made from real nanobots!
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iCANSEEFORMILESANDMILES binocular app.
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iRS, input all your earnings directly.
🙂 I can already tell this is gonna be a tough one to judge. I’m laughing out loud.
And you’re singing me love songs 🙂
… i-O-Dine, so Michelle Obama can directly monitor your eating habits.
@41: I don’t do love songs. I prefer to impress with my razor sharp wit and physical perfection Speaking of which, check out your Twitter DMs. 😉
… a new feature in iOS7 to automatically block text messages and Twitter DMs from male politicians.
(Inspired by by #43)
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iABS, perfect six-packs for the ladies.
… a new financing program where you assign Apple all of your current and future wealth and they provide you with the latest products and services and a small stipend for housing and meals for the rest of your life.
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iP, what a relief.
… the iCar. Sleek, fuel-efficient, and easy to operate, but you can only buy gas from Apple.
@46 You sure that wasn’t put out by Obama?
@47: Shouldn’t that be iPFreely? The first of many new medical devices to come?
New ipod for Obama called the iOpod, permanent backgrounds of him golfing and every track begins with “Let me be clear.” Conservatives rename it and run with the the name, iOwepod.
…the whole world is waiting breathlessly for the iQUIT.
@50: I refer you to #17.
@53: I meant @49, not @50.
something they and Samsung will go back and forth on in court filings.
… OS XY, a version of the Mac operating system just for men.
the iWeiner. A pair of underpants with a built in iCam.
@43 Uh HUH. Hmm.
I don’t know how to tell you this, sweet can of spam, but I’m not on Twitter.
I wonder who you’re sending physical perfection DMs to?
I may be on facebook…possibly…
@58 “I wonder who you’re sending physical perfection DMs to?”
What difference, at this point, does it make?
@59 😀
I guess you need a new plan for impressing me…
@60: There’s still that razor-sharp wit thing, right. Right? RIGHT????
…iCan for conservatives
…iWant for libs
…iWon’t for the under 5 age group
@61 about 50%
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iWOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT IF IT WASN’T FOR THOSE MEDDLESOME KIDS!
@61 Oh yeah. That thing. Right-o.
Huh.
But no singing?
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
A fancy French product for Obama, iL’ÉTAT, C’EST MOI
…i KY for the taxpayer
iRate. Keln could have totally used it when he was judging. Or maybe he has it already? 😛
@65: “But no singing?”
I’m nowhere near drunk enough for that.
Yet.
….Gilligan’s iLand — the social media ap you can’t exit
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iballs…either something for Carlos Danger or take that evil Google Glass!
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
Pizza delivery for iC Weiner!
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
…a version of Windows that WORKS
…an I-I-phone for ship captains
…
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
A Lemon
iRate? Sounds like a useful app for the busy, angry rush hour driver. Push the button and let it curse and form crude gestures for you. I’d be for one that goes, “Use the $)%& crosswalk, you )#$&*#@!”
@75 yep. 🙂 That’s kinda what I meant. 😛
…iSeeYou, the ever-present eye. High speed, real time, all the time.
Remember to read your user agreement very carefully.
iMemory, for IRS employees and others testifying before Congress
iTelltheTruth, for those IRS employees, former Secretary of State and current Hildebeest Clinton, and the empty suit in the White House
iHaveaPersonality, for Jay Carney
@31 I know that song 🙂
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iDunno
Suing Nickelodeon for the whole iCarly naming thing.
The iEmergency app. it will speed dial “0118 999 881 999 119 725…. 3”
As Apostic suggested (@33):
iMeMine … Obama Edition
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
they start breathing harder, then comes the “Oh God, Oh GOD OH GOD….” errr, perhaps I am mistaken. A bit.
Heb heh
… a hands-free cell phone that can *only* butt-dial: the Apple MacIntush.
First up….the iMpeach, an app that takes a horrible situation and replaces it with one that may be worse
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
the iWillIam, the music might be a bit iffy, but it is a first try.
iLoo – for those who chat while on the toilet (a head phone)
@85 Oppo, that is awesome. 🙂
iSuck, the first product under Apple’s new marketing campaign of being honest about products.
iBake, because whoring cookies isn’t shameful.
…a device so advanced only we could conceive of it and we only made one, we call it the iInTheMotesGod.
…the iNestein, because there are people who can afford our products but their taste leans more towards Chia Pet in design.
…the iCrashy dash cam boots up when your phone is in your hand and streams your accident live because you might be too dead to do it.
…the iDelete, makes unfortunately worded comments disappear.
Apple’s CEO said “amazing new products are coming”. First up…
iWent to Apple and all I got was this stupid device.
iIntheway, a new app that guides you to the nearest marriage proposal so you may photobomb it.
@91 help me out. That is a phrase I’m not familiar with…
…I-land, copied from Disneyland and designed to be a Virtual Reality theme park.
…iRan: it’s either a device for people of Persian decent, or something that involves a flock of seagulls.
…iMeltwithyou: makes great grilled cheese sandwiches, perfect for the modern Englishman.
………they’re coming from microsoft, samsung and IBM according to Apples’ corporate spies.
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Wow, exactly 100 comments! Harvey should lock the topic to prevent anyone going to #101.
Oh… wait.