NOTE TO ANONYMISS: Good news! I found the online pdf version of the owner’s manual for your Vulcan EV60-SS6FP24G240 60” electric range, and it turns out the the warranty DOES specifically cover “damage due to firearm discharge” (I assume this clause’s existence has something to do with Joe Biden, but I can’t prove it).

I made a phone call, and your replacement oven will be delivered directly to your dungeon cell later this afternoon.

Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “President Obama Said His Favorite Food Is Broccoli. Also on His List of Favorites…”

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.