[High Praise! to Seanmahair for the suggestion]
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
less liberals, less bureaucrats, less money.
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
A daily affirmation of ” I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!”
“Ways to make government smarter, etc”…… three simple steps
1. Shut up
2. Sit down
3. Get out of the way.
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
Put Obama in charge! Wait a minute…
…granting an Obamacare waiver to every American. Yay!
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
Shooting a few bureaucrats, pour encourager les autres.
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
giving all Americans a waiver from government. Period.
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
…resigning.
…stop using Twitter for process improvement. All that is doing is giving the big database more leads for more fundraising emails.
…smoking more dope. OK, that won’t make you smarter, but it will make it seem that way.
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
rebuild it like Steve Austin, and stick to the $6 million dollar budget.
…firing the idiot who came up with the #SmarterGov tag.
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
First, get rid of the old government.
Second, ?
Third, Profit!
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
Means committee oversight that does something!
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
…firing the entire government!
…activate the “memory hole” to erase the past – oh, and attack Eurasia.
…rewriting and titling The Constistupid of The United States.
…gather and store all of your private data until it can be used to help you.
…Pixar for the visuals, R. Crumb for the legislation and the Lascaux cave artists for the reality.
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
redefining intelligence, efficiency and innovation down to meet actual government work standards.
Free coverage for full frontal lobotomies. If we can’t make government smarter, at least we can make you stupider.
…figuring out this administration’s plan to fix a problem….and do the opposite.
…shutting down free speech and lying our @ss off. It doesn’t change anything but our supporters don’t know that.
…giving away more ‘free’ stuff!
…organizing the community.
…uh….ummm…eh……what was the question again?
…pivoting, being perfectly clear and reaching consensus!
In lieu of debates, require all potential candidates to appear with Jeff Foxworthy on “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?”
Reward good ideas with cookies.
The best way to make government less stupid is to get the dunce cap off the top of it.
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
those that exist in a world where everyone is above average.
…ready, fire, aim.
…building giant wooden badgers out of recycled wood products.
…be tough, when you disagree with the Magic 8 Ball answer find a less racist Magic 8 Ball.
…Methamphetamine, because smart has nothing to do with government and we’re too lazy to worry about the other stuff.
…play Steeleye Span’s “All Around My Hat” over the speakers night and day. It’s such a bouncy song and it’s about my hat.
…come to the realization that Idiocracy is not an instructional video.
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
saying over and over “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.”
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
putting your Vice President in charge of straightening things out.
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
letting public employees keep all the money they save from making the government smaller and more efficient. Then taxing it at 99.999%
…banning the Plebes from commenting.
“#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
Transportation cost effective like Amtrak
Document delivery turn a profit like the USPS
Wait times shorter like the DMV
Reduced paperwork like the IRS
Privacy like the NSA
Budget control like the Congress
Health insurance like Obamacare
Manned spaceflight like NASA
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
wands, spells and potions, and all those other magical things that work in the movies but not real life.
Limit the length of all new federal regulations to 140 characters.
…quit printing money and start making wealth butter, it’s easier to spread.
…quit wasting money making beef in laboratories and work on regenerating Dalmatians.
…better yet, Corn Dogs. Grow em, pick em and shuck em.
…Cookie College!!! That’s one smart cookie.
…free iWieners, the six foot screen makes it seem as if your favorite Democrat is right there in the room with you and the NSA will think the same about you.
From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…
… impeachment.
… banning lawyers.
… castrating elected officials caught in sex scandals.
Number of pages in bills may not exceed number of characters in a tweet.
…faking a terror alert so there’s an excuse to send Biden to an undisclosed location.
Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!