Straight Line of the Day: Ted Cruz’s Obamacare Filibuster Included a Reading of “Green Eggs and Ham”. Obama’s Response…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Ted Cruz’s Obamacare filibuster included a reading of “Green Eggs and Ham”. Obama’s response…

56 Comments

  1. “…The time for talking is over. Make no mistake about it and let me be clear, as I’ve said before, umm…words have meaning…ahh…elections have consequences…you own this…derf…dog is tough…”

  2. Ted Cruz’s Obamacare filibuster included a reading of “Green Eggs and Ham”. Obama’s response…

    Well he had one but if I gave a rat’s patootie about what it was I might be able to reproduce it here.

  3. I do not like Ted Cruz at all,
    I do not like him at the Mall,
    I will not see him in the Fall,
    When Obamacare hits the wall.

    You must embrace Obamacare,
    For if you don’t you’ll surely fare,
    The IRS to lay you bare,
    So you see I don’t really care.

  4. …would you like to have healthcare with that?
    Would you like that Democrat?

    Then, wrap your grandma up in flanel
    And, send her to the Who death panel!

    And, remember it is not a goof.
    When costs go shooting through the roof.

    And for your surgical procedure,
    We added one important feature.

    To insure the knife of surgeon Smarty
    Join the Democratic Party.

    And, if your wife requires tamoxifen
    You’ll have to ask your Congressman.

  5. Ted Cruz’s Obamacare filibuster included a reading of “Green Eggs and Ham”. Obama’s response…

    …Oh yeah? Well I read “You’re Only Old Once! A Book for Obsolete Children” to put Natasha and Malia to sleep.
    (ref: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You%27re_Only_Old_Once!)

    …Ha! I read “I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today!” to put Natasha and Malia to sleep.
    (ref: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Can_Lick_30_Tigers_Today!_and_Other_Stories

    …Big deal! I read “The Communist Manifesto” in German and Russian to put Natasha and Malia to sleep.

    …”As a Muslim, I’m not allowed to eat ham!”

  6. …was to be restrained as he ran out of the White house towards the senate shouting “read it again! read it again! I’m the president and I want you to read it again!” and then held his breath until Biden gently rocked him and got him back to sleep

    …was to head to Denny’s to deal with his sudden desire for a grand slam

    …was to ask one of his aids”He’s in the senate? What do they do?”

    …was to have the IRS begin an audit of Dr Seuss

    …was to make sure Dr Seuss was complying with the Obamacare mandates

    …was to tell aides that Cruz was a good speaker now, but was much better in Top Gun

  7. Ted Cruz’s Obamacare filibuster included a reading of “Green Eggs and Ham”. Obama’s response…

    …last night, the kids and I read the “Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act” (PPACA) from cover to cover! Nancy Pelosi came over to read it – for the first – with us, but the girls thought she was a witch so I had to ask her to leave.

  8. …a few chapters from his new autobiography “Dog Meat and Dogma”.

    …a no expenses spared but borrowed to pay for permanent vacation to Cuba for the entire Cruz family.

    …real snot with the crocodile tears during his nightly crying jag.

    …moped a bit but got really jazzed up by having David Brooks admire his pant leg creases, spent a quiet few hours auditing his shoe allotment, fired three shoe shiners, went to bed early.

  9. Ted Cruz’s Obamacare filibuster included a reading of “Green Eggs and Ham”. Obama’s response…

    was swift and strong, a witty bon mot that will go down in history, remembered by generations hence as the most complete and utter put down of a fellow human being. Or something like that.

  10. Ted Cruz’s Obamacare filibuster included a reading of “Green Eggs and Ham”. Obama’s response…

    …”Green eggs sound environmentally friendly, but ham is not kosher for us Muslims.

    …”Let me check with the EPA about those green eggs.”

    …”Is that ham from Smithfield – and is it from China or the US?”

  11. Ted Cruz’s Obamacare filibuster included a reading of “Green Eggs and Ham”. Obama’s response…

    …”Cruz, you must be loco – talkin’ about bustin’ fillies and eatin’ rotten eggs with the haram (حَرَامْ) meat of swine.”

    …”Ted, you must be a Cruzin’ for a bruisin’ bro”

  12. @52

    Teleprompter is broken, so he’ll be at his most boring
    his first words to be spoken, will be like flippin’ the bird
    Praise for his preening, praise for his slurring
    Praise from the press corps, that is the word –

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