Palin writing notes on her hand proves she would be dangerous were she in power.

If the note said, “Set fire to homeless shelter”, that would be an issue, but who forgets that sort of thing?

It would be funny if it said, “Buy more notepads.”

Cons: Libs are patronizing douches who want to take away all your freedoms. Libs: Cons write stuff on their hands.

I didn’t see the Palin speech, but if that’s all the left has to criticize about her I can assume it went awesome. I mean, they couldn’t even twist something she said into being racist? It’s like liberals have just given up.

Doesn’t the notes on the hand thing just prove that Palin can read and write?

The note on Obama’s hand says, “Read teleprompter.”

R.I.P. John Murtha. The Republicans never got him.

The more libs whine about people making fun of Obama using the teleprompter, the more everyone is going to keep it up. Or do liberals expect conservatives to follow their example in how they never seize on unfair jokes?

“And then Jesus comes back from the dead three days later.”
“Hey! Spoiler warning! I was planning on reading the Bible!”

The only notes I have on my hands is a big ‘R’ on one and a big ‘L’ on the other. That’s been unbelievably helpful.

Obama once wrote notes for himself on the inside of a bucket, and when he tried to read them back, it ended predictably.

FormerHostage presents: “Chrissy Mathews interviews Barak Obama”

[YouTube direct link]

Take a hippie-punch at fame by creating your own IMAO-worthy video at Xtranormal (”If you can type, you can make movies“). Send a link to harvolson-at-gmail.com and I’ll give it a look. If it isn’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, I’ll post it and let the readers throw roses and/or tomatoes at you.

My silly sister the costume designer was recently working with Peter Petrelli from Heroes on Ultradome, where they battle characters against each other and somehow get around copyrights and stuff. Anyway, you can go check it out, as they have three episodes up: Star Wars vs Lord of the Rings, Indiana Jones vs Han Solo, and Hulk vs Wolverine.

I would like to see Superman vs Aquaman. You’d think it would be an easy fight as Superman would just make sure to stay clear of the water where Aquaman’s powers are greatest, but, ha!, Aquaman has a bat made of kryptonite and precedes to pummel Superman to death with it. Easy win. Batman would be harder, though… unless Aquaman brought a gun. Of course, Batman would knock it out of his hand with a batarang… and which point Aquaman would pull out his backup gun and shoot Batman with it. Another easy win. Don’t mess with Aquaman.

So Iran is continuing to make nuclear weapons and test rockets, and we’re… well, I don’t know what we’re doing to stop them. They recently launched a rocket into space with a mouse, two turtles, and a can of worms inside. Who knows what that’s about? I sure don’t. There was probably just some kid in Iran with a mouse, two turtles, and a can of worms and he was all proud of his pets but Ahmadinejad, being evil and stuff, was like, “I’m going to launch your pets into space! Muh ha ha ha!” And the kid was crying and stuff because once your pets are up in space, they’re like gone. And Ahmadinejad probably did his happy little dance he does whenever he sees the tears of a child.

It’s kind of a jig.

Anyway, the point isn’t that the rocket had a mouse, two turtles, and a can of worms inside; it’s that it could be launched with other things inside. Like a puppy. Or a kitten. Or maybe a mouse, two turtles, and a can of beetles.

Or a nuclear payload.

Yeah, this is just another step towards Iran being a nuclear power and nuking stuff with their power. Obama should probably stop them, but that would require functional man parts. So I have another idea that maybe he’d be amenable to: Pamphlets. Let’s at least educate Iran on responsible nuke ownership. We can also give these to North Korea.

So here are some of the pamphlets we can make:

* The Key to Nuclear Weapons: Responsibility

* 5 Things You Should Consider Before Launching a Nuke

* Mutually Assured Destruction and You

* Signs Your Country Is Suicidal and What to Do About It

* 10 Reasons Not to Nuke the Jews

That just a few ideas. I think this will appeal to Obama as a solution because educating someone else makes him feel superior and he likes that. Plus, it’s not violent so all his douche friends in Europe will like it. So just give the word, Obama, and IMAO will get working on them.

And before you ask, yes, all the pamphlets we make will be rigged to explode.

The US Patent Office can’t accept faxes that are upside down. The used to when Einstein worked there because he knew how to rotate a document 180 degrees, but now he’s gone and apparently no one knows how to do that. I didn’t even know there was a right-side-up and upside-down to the fax machine; I just paid attention to making sure the printed side was facing the right way.

Anyway, this is the government that wants to run your health care. Luckily, if the death panel decides you need to die, they’ll probably screw that up too.

Know who would be the perfect Tea Party candidate? Mr. T.

America demands a darker, grittier Robin Hood.

I’m waiting for Peyton Manning to really mess up so I can use my line, “They should call him ‘Peyton Womanning.’”

To be honest, I really wasn’t ready for football today.

If I said what I thought of the “Who Dat?” chant, Sarah Palin would make me apologize.

Hmm. Maybe I should check out this “Google” site I just saw advertised.

It’s a harsh word, but I’m going to say it about the Super Bowl ads this year: Meh.

Elwin presents: “Nuke the Moon”

That’s right, it’s the Xtranormalized version of Frank J. reading his immortal essay.

If you’ve ever met Frank J., you can back me up that this is pretty much how he performs it in real life.

Which he does every day.

SarahK can back me up on that one.

[Xtranormal direct link]

Take a hippie-punch at fame by creating your own IMAO-worthy video at Xtranormal (”If you can type, you can make movies“). Send a link to harvolson-at-gmail.com and I’ll give it a look. If it isn’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, I’ll post it and let the readers throw roses and/or tomatoes at you.

Chris presents: “The Tonight Show with Frank J.”

[Xtranormal direct link]

Take a hippie-punch at fame by creating your own IMAO-worthy video at Xtranormal (”If you can type, you can make movies“). Send a link to harvolson-at-gmail.com and I’ll give it a look. If it isn’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, I’ll post it and let the readers throw roses and/or tomatoes at you.

WaxTadpole presents: “It all makes sense now”,

[Xtranormal direct link]

Take a hippie-punch at fame by creating your own IMAO-worthy video at Xtranormal (”If you can type, you can make movies“). Send a link to harvolson-at-gmail.com and I’ll give it a look. If it isn’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, I’ll post it and let the readers throw roses and/or tomatoes at you.

Hackers stole carbon credits in Europe!

Yeah, I have no idea how that works. So are we more polluted now?

Anyway, since the governments in Europe made carbon credits pretty much mandatory, people decided to steal them if they aren’t like actual things. And the hackers didn’t stop there. Here’s the other things they stole:

* Unicorns
* Magic beans
* The personal information of all honest lawyers
* The money Bill Gates was going to send everyone if they forwarded his e-mail
* The “peace” in Islam
* A six-foot rabbit named Harvey
* Our strategic reserve of griffins
* The jobs Obama saved or created

If the hackers stole anything from you, report it to the FBI or your nearest leprechaun.

So NBC had a big kerfuffle over having fried chicken and collard greens being served in the cafeteria in honor of black history month. I had something similar at college one year where the black cafeteria staff picked the menu for Martin Luther King Day and the results were the very racist fried chicken and collard greens. When we saw the announcement for it, we at first thought it was a joke in very poor taste, but despite our reservations we did eat it because, you know, it was fried chicken and collard greens.

I don’t really get food racism. It seems really really racist if someone makes a remark about blacks and fried chicken, though logically there is nothing to be ashamed about if you like fried chicken. I guess the problem was it was used in minstrel shows as a something about blacks to make fun of, and thus the history of it as part of a racial slur. So, if it all seems silly, blame racists; they ruin everything.

If I were black, what I’d do is go to order at KFC and as soon as I was told the menu I’d shout, “Why do you think I want fried chicken, you racist honkey!” Heh. Stupid honkeys.

I still have no idea what collard greens are, though.

So apparently it wasn’t the Secret Service that ran over Treacher; it was the State Department. So Hillary Clinton wants him dead. And here’s how they phrased it:

At approximately 7:10 PM last night, a jogger collided with one of the U.S. Department of State, Diplomatic Security Service’s official vehicles.

So, he ran into them! Jim Treacher is loose in DC, running into SUVs!

And, despite him crossing at the crosswalk while the light was telling him to cross, they gave him a ticket for jaywalking. So it’s like, “Sorry we ran you over and broke your knee, but pay us this fine.” Except without the “sorry” part.

Anyway, I hope Treacher gets better soon and then attacks more State Department SUVs.

Future Headline: “Unexpectedly, Joblessness Fell as Expected”

If carbon credits were stolen, does that mean the world is now more polluted?

Hackers stole my invisible platypus named Dave!

Stolen carbon credits, demon sheep, the government trying to kill Jim Treacher — I warned you this would happen if Obama was elected.

Had an MLK day once at college where the black cafeteria staff picked the menu. The results were very racist.

I never got food based racism. It sounds really offensive, but when I logically think about it I don’t get the slight.

I wish everyday was Mexican appreciation day at the cafeteria.

“To avoid the possibility of racism, the NBC cafeteria will refuse to serve black people on fried chicken day.”

“During White People History Month, everything will be served with mayo.”

I guess racism ruined fried chicken day at the NBC cafeteria, but I’m kinda confused on whose racism it was.

Now that we’ve taken care of racism in the NBC cafeteria, I think that’s it. We’ve taken care of all racism.

Obama may be a carnivorous lizard wearing a human’s skin, but at least he’s not a demon sheep.

How a Democrat could lose Massachusetts? Here’s the answer:

FormerHostage presents: “Coakley Strategy Meeting”,

[YouTube direct link]

[reference link]

Take a hippie-punch at fame by creating your own IMAO-worthy video at Xtranormal (”If you can type, you can make movies“). Send a link to harvolson-at-gmail.com and I’ll give it a look. If it isn’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, I’ll post it and let the readers throw roses and/or tomatoes at you.

According to a Gallup survey, I live in the fourth most conservative state. Actually, every single state surveyed showed more conservatives than liberals (with Massachusetts were Republicans just had a huge victory being the most liberal). The only place liberals outnumber conservatives is Washington D.C., the place they elect crack mayors. Anyway, goes to show you that conservatives have a shot in every state if they play it right, but the Democrat can always count on at least three electoral votes in the presidential race no matter what he does.

The race for the Republican nomination for Senator in California just took a turn for the bizarre. Here’s an attack ad from Carly Fiorina against Tom Campbell. Stick with it, because at the end it gets craaaaaazy.

I know. “Holy crap! Demon sheep!” This is why I try to stay away from California. You think places like Hollywood and San Francisco are insane, but even if you go out to the country there are possessed farm animals that want to eat your soul. And with all the firearm restrictions, you’re pretty powerless against them.

So is this ad accurate? Is Tom Campbell associated with human/terminator hybrid sheep? I’m freaked out, man. I really want someone to beat Barbara Boxer, but I don’t want someone who will do arcane rituals with the blood of our children.

Jim Treacher was the victim of a hit and run… by the Secret Service. Apparently not so secret a service since everyone was like, “That’s the Secret Service!”

I hope he gets better soon, but Obama will probably just try again until Treacher stops making fun of pandas.

10 best picture nominations? I guess that’s better than 5 boring ones no one has seen.

For some reason, it’s actually kind of creepy to see photographs of an extinct species.

When you use value-added data, Punxsutawney Phil didn’t see his shadow, confirming global warming.

So what does Punxsutawney Phil do if there is only three more weeks of winter?

Suggested statement for Obama: “In these economic times we all need to be tough, not constantly whiny like Las Vegas.”

Of course, Obama probably going to next call Las Vegas “retarded” and cause himself all sorts of unwanted trouble.

With V, its on TV for four weeks and then disappears for months. Since it’s based on Obama, maybe he should try that too.

That Carly Fiorina sheep ad has to be the creepiest political ad I’ve ever seen that doesn’t involve John Edwards.

If Fiorina wins the primary, every political ad from now on will have demon sheep.

The only way Fiorina’s ad could be anymore bizarre if it were directed by David Lynch.

Jake225 presents: “old dudes rule”,

…wait for it…

[Xtranormal direct link]

Take a hippie-punch at fame by creating your own IMAO-worthy video at Xtranormal (”If you can type, you can make movies“). Send a link to harvolson-at-gmail.com and I’ll give it a look. If it isn’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, I’ll post it and let the readers throw roses and/or tomatoes at you.

“It was like temporary Hillary”

WASHINGTON (AP) In a brief statement, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin apologized for describing White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel as “Obama’d”.

“All I meant to say,” said Palin, “was that sometimes Rahm says things that are kind of Biden, and in the heat of the moment, I slipped and said he was ‘completely Obama’d’. It’s a phrase that many people who are sick of the government’s liberal, nanny-state agenda toss around as a casual epithet. I didn’t stop to consider how hurtful it is to people who, because of some tragic mental handicap, actually embrace the Obama agenda.”

“It was a very Reid thing for me to say. I Pelosied up, and I’m sorry for being such a complete Axelrod.”

Lots going on, so no time for me to blog today. But I shall be back to it soon.

God bless.

This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.

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[reference link]

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From dneff:

Also from dneff:

From Hatless in Hattiesburg:

From Steve:

From Velvet Elvis:

From Brian:

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This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with comes with two options.

Option 1: Brian of Snapped Shot saw this picture:

And said:

“Our regular Jihadi demonstrators have gotten bored with rocks, and are now toying around with other objects they can hurl at Israel.

Can you help this little guy find more things to throw?”

Rev. Right of America is an Obamanation! was kind enough to take out the smoke grenade:

so you can just put something right in the little terizt’s hand, like this:

If you don’t have Photoshop, here’s a primer on how to make fake pictures with Microsoft Paint.

Option 2: if you’d rather just caption instead, go ahead & play with this one:

And yes, you can do both, if you want.

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PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Snapped Shot for handy links to ripe-for-captioning photos.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and - if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad - I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Chris presents: “keith and danny”,

[Xtranormal direct link]

Take a hippie-punch at fame by creating your own IMAO-worthy video at Xtranormal (”If you can type, you can make movies“). Send a link to harvolson-at-gmail.com and I’ll give it a look. If it isn’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, I’ll post it and let the readers throw roses and/or tomatoes at you.

The Science! is settled!

Of course, the left has always had two competing narratives on Republicans: We’re dumb hick hillbillies and we’re uncaring rich people. But there actually pretty mutually exclusive as there aren’t many rich, dumb hick hillbillies (Ted Turner, maybe, but I don’t think he’s a Republican).

But don’t listen to the left as Science! says they are stupid. Yes, that’s right, burned by the very Science! they worship!

So we’re not going back to the moon. That sucks, but space has sucked for some time.

It took only about sixty-five years from getting a plane to fly a couple feet to getting to the moon, but over forty years after that we’re not even capable of going back to moon. We suck.

The most amazing accomplishment of man, the moon landing, was ten years before I was born and we’re not even interested in trying to top it. With the progress we had back in the late sixties, we’d expect to have well-settled Mars colonies by 2010. But, no, we’re all quite earthbound and working on the same Earth problems we’ve always had. Stupid Earth. We even have environmentalism to try and get a few more miles out of this dumb planet instead of finding a new, better one.

I guess the solution is more capitalism since we probably won’t have a revolution in space until people can make a profit there. But space is expensive. Hopefully some very smart and greedy people are working on this.

I guess this all benefits me. Now I can go up to Obama and say, “Since we’re not going to the moon, I guess there’s no reason not to… nuke it!”

Of course, every time I try to approach Obama I get tackled — even if I have documentation showing I’m allowed to be there. The Secret Service just say I have the sort of face they like to tackle. Jerks.