What's up with Russia holding up the Iraq resolution? They say they don't like the part about the use of force that the U.S. put in there. Why do formerly evil countries like Russia and Germany act all peacenik now? Because they're still evil, that's why. They're busy selling weapons to terrorist nations, and they don't want to offend their customers by helping America attack Iraq. I'm starting to realize that, if we're really serious about ending terrorism, we're going to have to take out most of the world's government, not just those in the Middle East. If we don't start regime-changing Europe first, they're just going to coddle even more countries into becoming terrorists. "But who are we going to replace their governments with," you ask, "since most of the people in Europe are whiny?" Yes, most are whiny, but I believe there are two or three people in each European country who share American values (maybe four people in some of the larger countries). We will make them kings in exchange for their allegiance. If there isn’t anyone in those countries that we like, we'll just put some Texan in charge. "But don't the Europeans have modern militaries that will make it hard for us to just quickly overthrow them?" you also ask. That's just silly. Why would they have militaries? They never want to use force no matter how right the cause. I'm sure all the European countries defunded their militaries years ago in order to pay for sub-par universal health care and crap like that. Taking over countries in Europe could probably be done with one harshly worded phone call. Additional cost saving could be made by making it a collect call. "Should we call them using 1-800-CALL-ATT?" you inquire. No, that could save them money, and we need to take a harsh stand with them. Also, I don't want to encourage Carrot-top. "So when do we get back to taking on the countries in the Middle East? I really don't like those countries." Soon, after we finish rearranging Europe more to our liking. First, we'll blow up the Eiffel Tower. "Why blow up the Eiffel Tower?" Because it's French. Stop asking so many questions.

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Rating: 2.0/5 (5 votes cast)

Best of IMAO 2002
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