When you invade Frisco (I'm going to call it that from now on because it irritates most San Franciscans -- excuse me, Friscans -- so) make sure you bring plenty of bleach and mops and such. I hear the place is filthy.

Yes, Andrea. I live just 40 miles away from it and I call it "Frisco" just to piss them off.

About punching hippies. That's just mean. Doing so should be punished by a stiff fine of, say, 25 cents. Pre-payable, perhaps with something like one of those prepaid caling cards.

Forgot to mention for Andrea: People who like Frisco (gack) call it "The City", as if there weren't 300 other cities in the area.

I'd heard the NFL was talking about San Fran andd Green Bay swapping franchises.

There's just someting poetic about the San Fransisco Packers.

Been reading your blog for a little while now, but have never posted a comment... and damn that list got me into a good mood, ROFL!
As far as 'Frisco' goes, here in Houston a local radio talk show host, Chris Baker, has come up with a plan... at least for Houston hobos. Apparently 'Frisco' spends as much as $30,000 a year on hobos EACH, and Chris Baker wants to get an organization together called Hobo86, where people donate money to do the CHARITABLE thing--- send them to FRISCO!!! He even called Greyhound on the air and asked them how much a ticket would be, Houston to Frisco... it's like $89. He was having callers suggest what kind of an 'event' the "organization" could have to raise money. He also said he'd start a website sometime. He sounded very serious about this... especially after he relayed the story of being out to eat downtown and seeing, out the window, a bum squatting over a bridge and DEFECATING. I say we send them all there and then force FRISCO to secede!!!
In the meantime, Chris Baker has a webpage called the Utopian Hall of Fame which you and others may enjoy.

Being just a stone's throw across the bay from Frisco, I would like to volunteer to organize an official Bay Area fifth column... we can bring those bastards down from the inside!

Remember friends, "Everytime a hippie gets trounced, an angel gets its wings."

I'm with Russel. And I'm in the East Bay, where we just elected one of the few Republicans to the state legislature.

As a southern Californian, I can only applaud the occupation of San Franicisco. But why stop there? Every major city in the US is in need of liberation. Can we add Los Angeles to the list, then Boston, Atlanta, etc.? Hell we have enough work to keep us going for decades

I'm with Ken on the Hippie-punching thing - two bits sounds about right, but I'd suggest we make it payable directly to the Hippie being punched, like on-the-spot. That way you could just flip a quarter at them and get in a good left hook while they're watching the pretty coin fly.

Frank,

I'm just disappointed in the lack of tax initiatives on your list... I don't see why we should be so shy to ask for tax cuts.

The 'A Clockwork Orange Act': all the whiny pussies at Democratic Underground have their eylids held open while they are forced to read IMAO non-stop for four weeks. They are then set on fire and beaten to death with socks full of shit.

Didn't Texas have a law on the books, making battery of a flag-burner punishable by a $50 fine? As goes Texas, so goes the nation.

Ken, you forgot Chicago--the gun grabbing capital of the midwest (ok, I know, it's the midEAST, but you know what I mean). I'd really like to move back to Chicago someday but we can't until the liberals are purged.

-Voter fraud is now treason and subject to capital punishment.
-Illigal border crossers are now considered invaders and, if they commit any act of violence, are subject to military tribunals as illegal combatants.
-Civics classes now required to make the point that the Fourteenth Ammendment was instituted to assure blacks the right to arm themselves in self-defense. All Saturday-night special laws are now declared unconstitutional -- poor people need self defense, too.
-The Civilian Marksmanship Program (citizens buy old military surplus rifles) is ammended to allow purchase of weapons confiscated by law enforcement.
-Since education is not mentioned in the Constitution, the FedGov is no longer allowed to impose conditions on funds it allocates to education. Male collegiate sports revive.
-As long as there is an all-female organization in this country, all-male organizations will also be allowed.
-Vehicles with handicapped stickers will be cited if they park in unmarked parking places.
-Homo Sapien is declared an endangered species, and its interests now trump any other species' interests in law.
-Capital criminals will be executed by the same method used in their crimes and by the victims' family members, whenever feasible.
-The Ten Commandments will be posted in every government building, so that people will actually understand what unconstitutional laws are contained therein, and the whining will stop. Next to the Ten Commandments, the Bill of Rights (the Ten Ammendments) will be posted. Cross-references would be nice.
-Congressional salaries now correspond to the average DC income. Since this may involve some financial hardships, officer-quality barracks will be provided. No retirement pay will be authorized for congressmen or senators.
-etc.

Andrea, I dunno; cleaning Frisco may cost a lot. That could mean more taxes, which I am mildly against.

Ken Summers, a prepaid hippie beating card is one of the greatest ideas I have ever heard. I would even give up my NRA membership card to make room for it in my wallet (not my CCW, though).

Ralph, I would hope the NFL would prevent a team from being called the "San Francisco Packers." It just gives too much of an opening for hecklers.

Lori, while we could use Frisco as a hobo depository, it's just too prime of real estate. Let's send all the hobos to Massachusetts instead.

Russel, I wish you luck at taking them down from the inside, but you better not get Stockholm syndrome.

Ken Hahn, sounds good to me, but I say we start with Frisco. I think we'll just have to destroy Berkeley instead of liberating it, though.

Mojo, after you punch him, take the quarter back.

Kim, there are more important things than money. That's why I didn't push the tax issue too much in my list.

...wait a second, what's more important than money? I know there is something. Oh yeah, guns!

David, I'm for whatever harms hippies and ups my sites hit count.

Anna, I was unaware Texas had laws. I thought they just had guns.

Mrs. du Toit, we need to get the Supreme Court off their asses and make them rule that a handgun ban is unconstitutional. They'll listen to us because we have guns.

Perigee, I especially like the idea of having the Congress live in barracks. That could spawn a really entertaing reality show.

Don't even think about moving our beloved Packers to San Damnsisco. Aina hey pilgram, there isn't enough bleach in the world to clean up that sty.

Everyone should be required to own an SUV. Then we could play like "Death Race 2000" and get points for running down anti-war demonstrators or those protest-by-vandalism idiots. And any PETA worker dressed up like an animal.

It should also be illegal for the Packers to ever move from Green Bay. That has got to be unconstitutional.

How About the "I'll Smoke Anywhere I Damn Well Please!" Act?

Or Perhaps a Resolution to Invade Canada?

Ooooooo... I like the "I'll smoke any where I damn well please act" ISAIDWPA. Get's my vote.

1) EUrope to be added to the Axis of Evil

2) The "Make Your Friggin' Mind Up" Act - Hyphenation of your nationality in speech and/or writing will now be a deportable offense, regardless of citizenship.

3) The "Know Thy Enemy" Act - Idiotarians appearing on TV will henceforth have a "- Moron" added behind their names on screen.

4) The "How'd You Like THEM Apples?" Act - Illegal Immigrants will, when apprehended, be tied to a bench in an INS waiting room for a period no less than two years, so they can contemplate the fate of the people whose place in the queue they've been trying to skip.

5) The "Fuck Camelot" Act - Anybody having the name "Kennedy" anywhere on their social security card will henceforth be barred from holding any public office.

The "Spew Warning/Keyboard and Monitor Protection" Act -- A warning label must be applied to all posts made by Frank or Misha that cause readers to burst into laughter causing them to involuntarily spew their coffee on their monitor and keyboard.

A sub set or sister act would include the "Noses Should Not Drip Coffee" Act, but the causes and the solution would be the same.

I'm all for the smoking where you damn well please (I like the occasional cigar) and killing Kennedys (after which, it's great to have a smoke).

Mrs. du Toit, I didn't know people were laughing at me. I was trying to be serious. Now I feel bad.

I second that, Frank!

I mean, you spend night after sleepless night, tossing and turning and pondering gravely over the burning issues of our times, then go forth and pour your heart out in public, trying to contribute to the national debate in a rational, tempered, well-thought-out manner...

And they LAUGH at you?

When will this torment end?

In addition to the "I'll Smoke Anywhere I Damn Well Please Act", I'd like to add the "I'll Masturbate Anywhere I Damn Well Please Act". As a sub-clause, we'll initiate the "I'll Smoke While Masturbating Anywhere I Damn Well Please Act"...

Cleaning Frisco wouldn't be expensive... either make hippies clean it as slave labor or just burn it down ceremoniouosly with napalm-filled artillary shells. I hate large cities anyway, so I'm not going to miss it.

AND REMEMBER! The best things in life have a BELT FEED and are FULLY AUTOMATIC...

What is possible would never have been achieved if, in this world, people had not repeatedly reached for the impossible.