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January 10, 2003
World War III: The Search for Spock
North Korea is saying that any actions against it "would lead to the Third World War." I have to admit, that's actually a good idea they have. I'm tired of all these little conflicts with pissant nations, and it would nice to take out all of our enemies in one big fight. I guess the big question is what would we subtitle it? The first one was just called The World War and the second was World War II: The Germans Strike Back, but I'm not sure what we'll call this one. Maybe it could be World War III: America Finally Got Fed Up With All You Jackasses, but that's a little too long. Well, the subtitle can wait; lets' look who the major players are. Now, as I see it, the main character is America, and Israel will be our intrepid sidekick. Europe will be like the stubborn police captain who is always yelling at us and keeping us from doing our job. Canada will be the comic relief. As for enemies, there will be North Korea and Iraq, of course. I assume that almost all the Middle East will rally against us (they're going to have to, or audiences just aren’t going to buy the conflict). China will be the main bad guy and the final battle. I also assume there will be some betrayals on the European side, like Germany could suddenly resume their evil ways (I don't know how big of a surprise that will be). I'm not sure what side France will come down on; I assume they will surrender first just to be safe and then pick which side they ally with so they know who to surrender to. I really hope they decide to be our ally, because God knows I don't want to occupy them. Still, there needs to be some sort of plot twist where we can't use our nukes; otherwise we'll struggle to have a runtime of any 90 minutes. Maybe China has been making a secret space laser or something. On a side note, I assume that when we win we'll get all of the Middle East's oil and all of China's pandas, but does North Korea have anything we want? I guess we can just take their nukes to make ourselves that much more nukey. 21 Responses To "World War III: The Search for Spock"
World War III: America Uber Alles? World War III: The Wrath of Rumsfeld? #1 - Posted by: Chris on January 10, 2003 04:18 PMHow bout - WWIII: Dubya strikes back well, maybe not, but I enjoyed the site, anyway... Cheers #2 - Posted by: Wylie in Norman on January 10, 2003 05:04 PM"Still, there needs to be some sort of plot twist where we can't use our nukes" Easy: the villains are holding England (can't believe that you forgot the eye candy) hostage, or something. Unfortunately for them, England'll break out of the bonds on her own just in the nick of time. Or something like that. #3 - Posted by: Moe Lane on January 10, 2003 05:06 PMI was all ready with "WWIII, Fuck 'em all" I had three young boys acting up in my house today. I broke up their fun and announced that I would whip three asses one after the other if they did that again. They have played as civilized human beings ever since. We need to spank the shit out of a few nations because they need it, we can do it, and we can show those who doubt our resolve that we WILL. I've torn up all three of those boys' asses before, so they KNOW that I'll do it. That's why they listen to me. The rest of the world needs to understand that fact about the USA. Play nice, and we'll leave you alone. Act up, and we'll bust your ass. That works. #5 - Posted by: Acidman on January 11, 2003 03:51 PMHow about: World War III: The Return of the Americans
How about, No nukes, OK How about It's too bad France will surrender. I always wanted to see Paris without the French. #7 - Posted by: the analog kid on January 12, 2003 03:46 AMSorry, one more World War III: MacArthur was right. #8 - Posted by: the analog kie on January 12, 2003 03:49 AMlmao, i wish i had something to add, but i just can't stop laughing at what all of you have said. i especially like> World War III: Nuke 'em till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark. #9 - Posted by: Samkit on January 12, 2003 07:01 AMI'm with Cheshirecat but, to keep it sounding like Star Wars™, I suggest: WWIII, The Return of the G.I. #10 - Posted by: Emperor Misha I on January 12, 2003 01:55 PMNorth korea has...........ALL THE DOGS YOU CAN EAT!! #11 - Posted by: Peter lang on January 12, 2003 09:30 PMUh -- no man, I think they ate all the dogs, and Kim has the remaining three cats locked up in his pantry. Or maybe his belfry. (Batless -- they've eaten all the bats.) World War III: now with more Special Sauce! #12 - Posted by: Andrea Harris on January 12, 2003 11:30 PMNo, no, no. Not "The Wrath of Rumsfeld." It's got to be; "World War III: The Wrath of Don." As for North Korea: It's All About Kim Chee! #13 - Posted by: Joanne Jacobs on January 13, 2003 02:54 AMI think I have to declare Joanne winner of the WWIII subtitle competition. #14 - Posted by: Frank J. on January 13, 2003 08:40 AMOh, Your Excellency, I agree...I like yours much better! Or, if we want to go the Star Trek bent: World War III: The search for Saddam. cheshirecat #15 - Posted by: cheshirecat on January 13, 2003 11:16 PMWWIII: Rumsfeld's Paridice #16 - Posted by: Dylan on November 5, 2003 01:58 PMWWIII: Endgame #17 - Posted by: Juan on November 18, 2003 10:51 PMWW3: All Your Base Are Belong to U.S. #18 - Posted by: Beo on April 15, 2004 01:56 PMwats up yall dis da kidd repin all hoodz da kidd snoopy straight 4rm texas if a fine gurl reads dis my # is 770-672-0730 yo i look real good like a olda lil'romeo wit da kidd charm yo holla at cha boy fresh snoopy im otta herr #19 - Posted by: youngin on May 3, 2004 12:08 PM"wats up yall dis da kidd repin all hoodz da kidd snoopy straight 4rm texas if a fine gurl reads dis my # is 770-672-0730 yo i look real good like a olda lil'romeo wit da kidd charm yo holla at cha boy fresh snoopy im otta herr" OMG WTF BBQ! #21 - Posted by: on July 28, 2004 12:36 AMPost a comment
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