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March 04, 2003
You Shadow Our Planes, We Puncha Your Face
Four armed North Korean jets intercepted one of our reconnaissance planes over the Sea of Japan. I know what you’re probably saying, "Hey, they shouldn't do that! Let's hit North Korea with a biological weapon, then saturation bomb them, then nuke them, and then shoot them with some sort of space-based laser." That does seem like the natural response, but that's not the diplomatic thing. Instead, the U.S. is going to file a formal protest with North Korea over the incident. But the question is, how to do you this to crazy people? If you just wrote Kim Jong Il a harshly worded letter, he'd probably just fold it into a hat and do a crazy little dance while wearing it. That's why I have some better ideas for protest. Maybe one reason North Korea keeps antagonizing us is that they don't really understand what we'll do to them if we get truly pissed. Thus, we should give them a visual aid. One idea is to bomb the crap out of France (yeah, I know, that's my answer to everything). We have to go completely nuts on them. Then we tell North Korea, "See that? That's what's going to happen to you if you don't shape up." Another idea is to try to communicate to them on their own level of crazy. We can drop a shipment of infected monkeys into the middle of his capital city. People hate infected monkeys. Then we can say, "Hey, you play nice or you get bitten by infected monkeys." Or perhaps we shouldn't protest at all and instead teach them in a Pavlovian way that U.S. surveillance planes equals bad. What we do is fill one of them up with explosives and fly it by remote, then, as soon as their MiGs get near it to shadow it, BOOM! Or we could just forget the whole thing. I never got our interest in North Korea anyway; there's no oil to steal. 13 Responses To "You Shadow Our Planes, We Puncha Your Face"
I like a combination of bombing France and dropping the infected monkeys. #1 - Posted by: Peter on March 4, 2003 09:49 AM[in a low, gutteral voice] "Monkeys . . . " #2 - Posted by: Minstrel on March 4, 2003 11:08 AMI say bomb the monkeys, then dump their radioactive carcasses on the NorKs AND the French. #4 - Posted by: Emperor Misha I on March 4, 2003 05:20 PMHow about "bombed" (drunk), radioactive, infected monkeys, wearing crazy little hats (berets), eating cheese and smoking little French cigarettes, while dancing to silly French songs? Kim won't be able to resist. ;) #5 - Posted by: B.C. on March 4, 2003 07:32 PMThe last time they shot one down (NK 2 Navy 0) the Air Force flew an F-4 close under the wings of a C130 and hoped they'd come out to play. #6 - Posted by: on March 4, 2003 08:47 PMDropping cheese eating surrender monkies on the crazy gooks would be even better. #7 - Posted by: aorben on March 4, 2003 09:42 PMFrank has Rumsfeld been checking out your site lately? I think hes found a way of making a "polite formal protest" I guess thats definitely ONE way of getting your point across ;) #8 - Posted by: Valentine on March 4, 2003 11:34 PMAorben, I don't know: nuking the whole place flat is one thing, but even the North Koreans don't QUITE deserve the French. #9 - Posted by: David Jaroslav on March 4, 2003 11:34 PMRE: Cheese-eating, surrender monkies. Welcome, Europeans. First, I have lived in Europe for the last two years. I arrived here on 11 September. So, let me share with both those in Europe and the U.S. what I have learned. Let me begin by explaining SHAREA, Islamic law,: 1. Under Islamic law a warrior can only be a Muhajideen (go directly to Paradise when he or she is killed) if he or she dies in a Jihad. 2. Under SHAREA a Jihad (a holy war) can only be declared by a COUNTRY (that is, not by a political group such as Al Quaeda, Black September, or any TERRORIST group). 3. No COUNTRY has declared JIHAD. Therefore, these TERRORIST will NOT go directly to Paradise, but they will be JUDGED according to SHAREA. 4. SHAREA forbids the killing of Muslims (that is, as in Turkey, the World Trade Center, Iraq, a bus in Israel where a Muslim is going to work just to support his family, or any other non-selective [supposedly-MUSLIM] TERRORIST attack). 4. SHAREA forbids the killing of WOMEN (that is, as in Turkey, the World Trade Center, Iraq, a bus in Israel where a Muslim is going to work just to support his family, or any other non-selective [supposedly-MUSLIM] TERRORIST attack. 5. SHAREA forbids the killing of CHILDREN (that is, as in Turkey, the World Trade Center, Iraq,a bus in Israel where a Muslim is going to work just to support his family, or any other non-selective [supposedly-MUSLIM] TERRORIST attack. Allah will NOT grant these HERETICS victory BECAUSE they violate HIS law. IF THERE IS A TRUE MUSLIM IN THIS WORLD, ALLAH DEMANDS THAT YOU FIGHT THIS HERESY. YOU, who claim to be true Muslims, know that Allah will hold YOU accountable for allowing this HERESY to PERVERT ISLAM! As to you Europeans, why is America in Iraq? 39 SCUD missles landed in Israel during the first war with Iraq. The Israelis lived in terror that one of those warheads would be loaded with nuclear, chemical, or biological weapons. (Note, any student of history KNOWS that Suddan used chemical weapons agains the Kurds. So, there is absolutely no doubt that the son-of-a-bitch had weapons of mass destruction.) For 12 years the U.S. and Israel attempted to work throught the U.N. to eliminate this threat to Israel. But, the U.N. is totally useless. What did Europe do? The same thing you did in WWII! You turned on your Jews. Your parents and grandparents turned them in to the GESTAPO. Your trains hauled them to Germany. And, the Germans killed 6,000,000 of them. It was the U.S, that saved some of them! NAME ONE EUROPEAN COUNTRY WHOSE ARMY LIBERATED THE CONCENTRATION CAMPS (EXCEPT THE RUSSIANS [AND THEY'RE NOT EUROPEANS] THEY'RE THE ARMY THAT SUBJUGATED THE PEOPLE OF EASTERN EUROPE. It was the U.S. that has been their ally! (Even after WWII you Europeans didn't have the guts to admit your mistake and make good by supporting Israel, you racists!) Any Jew that naievely believes a European is a friend, should have a suitcase packed for the next time the Germans come. You think I'm kidding? The Germans didn't eliminate the STASI when the two Germanies were merged, and the Soviets had bred the STASI to hate YOU! Read your newspapers! Here is your destiny! The moderate Germans in the Bundestag will be 1. Blackmailed into supporting racist filth as under Hitler. READ THE VOTES! 2. Blackmailed into being quiet. READ THE VOTES! 3. Killed. Read your newspapers. There will be episodes of Bundestag throwing themselves out windows, shooting themselves, taking an overdose of sleeping pills, run over by unknown drivers om the streets, run off the autobahns, and died of heartattacks (as simulated by the KGB). READ YOUR NEWSPAPERS! In 15 years the STASI will control Germany.And, you know something;this time we're not coming to save you! But, for you Europeans that won't make any difference. You have always hated the Jews! The best that can be said of Europeans is that SOME of you didn't turn your Jewish neighbors in to the GESTAPO. The worst that can be said of you Europeans is that all too many of you DID turn your Jewish neighbors in to the GESTAPO! And, your national train systems hauled the victims to their DEATHS in the camps. You, JEW-HATING-HYPOCRITES. Jean d'Arc wasted her life dying for you. One in six people in France is a supposed-Muslim; though few will fight this HERESY and, therefore, their souls are doomed. The few Christians left in France are old, gray-haired people who will be dead in 20 years! There's not a Christian left in Europe. Kiss Jesus good-bye, Europe. Your destiny is to be Muslim! Your daughters will bear Muslim babies. And, when you consider divorce, they will haul your children and grand-children to some Muslim country. So, kiss your family good-bye. Cheap labor has sold your souls and the destiny of your countries. This is the last Crusade. And, surely the last Christian nation in the world must fight this heresy alone, because there are no true Muslims left to fightfor Islam. #10 - Posted by: War Vet on December 28, 2003 08:52 AMI plan on buying an stash of armaments, and getting on a cruise to europe, and will kill the extremists until I lie dead on the street! War Vet, that was the best comment I have ever seen posted on any blog site. #12 - Posted by: Trucido on June 23, 2004 09:15 AMMaybe we could just give Kim Jong-Il's private email address to "online craps"? #13 - Posted by: CylentBob on October 4, 2004 01:14 PMPost a comment
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