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March 11, 2003
You've Got to Keep Your Axes Under Control
Posted by Frank J. at 08:39 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (13)

The other members of the Axis of Evil are trying to take advantage of our distraction with Iraq. North Korea has tested more missiles, and Iran started up their nuclear program. This is bad and cannot go unanswered.

First of all, this is just why we need missile defense. When North Korean fires a test missile, we can shoot it out of the sky. Then we can have a plane fly by towing a banner saying, "Your Missiles Suck! You Guys Are Losers!" Then the North Korean will get low self-esteem and stop all their blustering about how they can beat us in a nuclear war and other fantasies.

As for Iran, we could just go in and blow up their nuclear facilities, but the U.N. will probably yell at us. Then we’d have to also take out the U.N., and we could end up being in the desert all night digging holes. Instead, we should set up the destruction so that they see a poofy-haired man running away from the explosion. They'll assume it was Kim Jong Il trying to take down Iran so he could be the undisputed leader of the Axis of Evil. Jong and Ayatollah Ali Hoseini-Khamenei will probably get into a slap fight and curse each other's mustaches, giving us enough time to steal whatever oil those two countries have. Once exploited for their resources, those countries are of no further use to us and can be nuked.

Quick and simple.

Rating: 2.4/5 (11 votes cast)

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13 Responses To "You've Got to Keep Your Axes Under Control"

I've always wondered why we dont shoot down their missles during their show. That'd be freakin awesome. Hell, we've got cruisers right over there now that could do it. Then after we shoot a few down we could attack after the next one and just say that it was aimed at us and that'd be it. Same thing with these Iraq missles, just shoot them down over their own people.

#1 - Posted by: doc on March 11, 2003 03:38 PM

How many boxcutters can you shoot down with NMD?

How about instead of putting the nuke on a missile they...mail it to us?

NMD is just welfare for defense contractors.

#2 - Posted by: barney gumble on March 11, 2003 03:43 PM

French products and companies to boycott:

http://nikita_demosthenes.blogspot.com/

#3 - Posted by: nikita demosthenes on March 11, 2003 06:02 PM

"Instead, we should set up the destruction so that they see a poofy-haired man running away from the explosion. They'll assume it was Kim Jong Il trying to take down Iran so he could be the undisputed leader of the Axis of Evil. "

Heh. Man, that's one hell of a devious, creative streak you got there, Frank.

#4 - Posted by: Ken Summers on March 11, 2003 06:56 PM

DUH. Get this. Our 'missile defense' (worthless as it is) would have zero effect on N. Korea launching missiles into the sea.

You are ignorant.

#5 - Posted by: god on March 16, 2003 07:36 PM

Well, that's true...our missles are designed to hit crap aimed at us. If it goes sploosh, no point now, is there?

I'm not all that worried about NoKo, truth be told. Japan's right across the pond, ready and able to wail on their sorry asses if they try anything cute. And if they've forgotten what the U.S. is capable of, they haven't forgotten what Japan is capable of. Centuries of being someone's bitch tends to do that, apparently.

#6 - Posted by: The Iconoclast on March 17, 2003 11:58 PM


Dearest Friend,

How are you and your family today? I hope that you are all okay? I
found information about you and decided to contact you for an important
assistance. I am Michael Nkomo a citizen of Zimbabwe, but I am writing from Spain Madrid.

I am the only son of Kenneth Nkomo, a wealthy farmer and senior politician with the opposition political party in my country, Movement for Democratic Change [MDC]. My father was murdered by our wicked President,
Robert Mugabe and I fled my country because I have become his next target to eliminate.

My father was a fighter for Justice and a moving force in the MDC, a part wanting to end the several years of brutal dictatorship government of President Robert Mugabe. You will read more stories about President
Mugabe's brutal acts by visiting this web sites;
http://www.rte.ie/news/2000/0418/zimbabwe.html

My father was accused of Treason and also assisting the White farmers in fighting the government. Few weeks after his arrest, he was reported dead. The government claimed he died of heart attack and his body was
never seen for proper autopsy, they buried him in the government cemetery. My father's associate Mr. Martin Olds a White farmer from Britain assisted me in fighting my father's death through the Court and
media; the government saw us as a big treat to them and decided to eliminate us. Mr. Olds was attacked and murdered in his house, but fortunately, before they came looking for me, I received the news and I had to flee through the border to South Africa to save my life. My arrival here in Spain Madrid still remains like a miracle to me.

Here, is my reasons for contacting you, I need to bring my family and that of Mr. Olds out of Zimbabwe as soon as possible before any more harm is done on them. I am having a huge sum of money in the total sum of
$18.6Million presently hidden in a safe place. My father kept this money in two trunk boxes in disguise as family treasures and could not bank them, because of the situation in my country. My father's business,
farms and banks account were seized by the government before his arrest and murder.

He told me everything concerning the funds while he was still in detention and I have made a solid arrangements concerning the shipment of the boxes out of my country because we cannot invest it there. I was on
the process when I fled the country. I need your assistance in securing the funds here in Madrid or in your country, so that I can arrange for my family and that of the Olds to join me here in Madrid or in your country. I am willing to offer you 30% of the $18.6Million for your assistance.

Please, let me know if you can assist me, so that I can give you more details on how we shall proceed. As I wait for your urgent response, please treat this information as top secret and send your phone number so that I can speak with you. Thank you and God bless. My mother is aware of my plans, as I am sending her copy of this letter.

Regards,

Michael Nkomo.

CC: mr.slisankomo@yahoo.com

MORE SITES ABOUT MUGABE'S BRUTAL GOVERNMENT
http://publish.indymedia.org.uk/en/2003/04/64376.html
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2002/08/13/wzim13.xml
http://www.guardian.co.uk/Archive/Article/0%2C4273%2C4332401%2C00.html

#7 - Posted by: Michael Nkomo on September 18, 2003 10:43 PM

From: "Nkomo James"
Subject: HELLO
To: nkomaj@ozu.es
X-Mailer: CommuniGate Pro WebUser Interface v.4.1.8
Date: Fri, 27 Feb 2004 06:13:09 +0100
X-Server: Pinjo SMTP Server Version 1.0.7.121
X-Spam-Status: Negative


Good Day My Dearest Friend,
How are you and your family today? I hope that you are all okay? I found information about you and decided to contact you for an important assistance. I am Prince m nkomo. A citizen of Zimbabwe, but I am contacting from a nearby country here in IVORY CAOST where I am now
seeking political asylum.
I am the only son of Kenneth Nkomo, a wealthy farmer and senior politician with the opposition political party in my country, Movement for Democratic Change [MDC]. My father was murdered by our wicked President, Robert Mugabe and I fled my country because I have become his next target to eliminate.
My father was a fighter for Justice and a moving force in the MDC, a part wanting to end the several years of brutal dictatorship government of President Robert Mug be. My father was accused of Treason and also assisting the White farmers in fighting the government. Few weeks after his arrest, he was reported dead.
The government claimed he died of heart attack and his body was never seen for proper autopsy, they buried him in the government cemetery. My father's associate Mr. Martin Olds a White farmer from Britain assisted me in fighting my father's death through the Court and media; the government saw us as a big treat to them and decided to eliminate us. Mr. Olds was attacked and murdered in his house, but fortunately, before they came looking for me, I received the news and I had to flee through the border to South Africa to save my life. My arrival here in IVORY COAST still remains like a miracle to me.
Here, is my reasons for contacting you, I am having a huge sum of money in the total sum of $13.6Million presently lodge with the security company in Holland, My father kept this money in two trunk boxes in disguise as family treasures and could not bank them, because of the situation in my country. The government seized my father's business, farms and banks account before his arrest and murder.
He told me everything concerning the funds while he was still in detention and I have made several arrangements concerning the shipment of the boxes out of my country because we cannot invest it there. I was on the process when I fled the country. I need your assistance in
securing the funds there in your country, so that I can arrange on how to come over to your country to invest with the fund I am willing to offer you 30% of the $13.6Million for your assistance.
Please, let me know if you can assist me, so that I can give you more details on how we shall proceed. As I wait for your urgent response, please treat this information as top secret.


Best Regards,
Prince j.m. nkomo.
--------------------------------------------------
Nuevo Depósito a un mes 6% T.A.E. de ING Direct
http://ingdirect.ozu.es/
--------------------------------------------------
Correo enviado desde http://www.ozu.es

#8 - Posted by: TOP SECRET on February 27, 2004 11:41 AM

Dearest Friend,

How are you and your family today? I hope that you are all okay? I found
information about you and decided to contact you for an important assistance. I
am Michael Nkomo a citizen of Zimbabwe, but I am writing from South Africa..

I am the only son of Kenneth Nkomo, a wealthy farmer and senior politician with
the opposition political party in my country, Movement for Democratic Change
[MDC]. My father was murdered by our wicked President, Robert Mugabe and I fled
my country because I have become his next target to eliminate.

My father was a fighter for Justice and a moving force in the MDC, a part
wanting to end the several years of brutal dictatorship government of President
Robert Mugabe. You will read more stories about President Mugabe's brutal acts
by visiting this web sites;

My father was accused of Treason and also assisting the White farmers in
fighting the government. Few weeks after his arrest, he was reported dead. The
government claimed he died of heart attack and his body was never seen for
proper autopsy, they buried him in the government cemetery. My father's
associate Mr. Martin Olds a White farmer from Britain assisted me in fighting my
father's death through the Court and media; the government saw us as a big treat
to them and decided to eliminate us. Mr. Olds was attacked and murdered in his
house, but fortunately, before they came looking for me, I received the news and
I had to flee through the border to South Africa to save my life. My arrival
here in South Africa still remains a miracle to me.Here, is my reasons for
contacting you, I need to bring my family and that of Mr. Olds out of Zimbabwe
as soon as possible before any more harm is done on them.

I am having a huge sum of money in the total sum of $15.MUSD (Fifteen million
united states dollars ) presently hidden in a safe place. My father kept this
money in one trunk box in disguise as family treasures and could not bank them,
because of the situation in my country. My father's business, farms and banks
account were seized by the government before his arrest and murder. He told me
everything concerning the funds while he was still in detention and I have made
a solid arrangements with a diplomat concerning the shipment of the box out of
my country because we cannot invest it there. I was on the process when I fled
the country but thank God that it arrived here safely and it is currently in the
custody of a world diplomatic agency here in South Africa waiting to be clained
and cleared by you . I need your assistance in securing the funds out here to an
account of your choice in any part of the world where taxation system is not
very high, so that I can arrange for my family and that of the Olds to joi
n me here in South Africa or in your country.

I am willing to offer you 40% of the total $15.MUSD for your assistance. Please,
let me know if you can assist me, so that I can give you more details on how we
shall proceed. As I wait for your urgent response, please treat this information
as top secret and call me on my private telephone number 27 8 369 55011. So that
I can speak with you.Thank you and God bless. My mother is aware of my plans, as
I am sending her copy of this letter.

Regards,

Michael Nkomo.

CC: nkomo_lisa@yahoo.com

MORE SITES ABOUT MUGABE'S BRUTAL GOVERNMENT


#9 - Posted by: Hans Crisps on February 28, 2004 08:48 PM

You Speak Truth! Let It Be Known That IMAO is a true sage.

#10 - Posted by: Andrew on March 22, 2004 03:54 PM

Is it normal for people to post 419 scam invitations on people's blogs? I'm not sure if these conmen have stock stories, but the Nkomo sob story has been done before, and 419 Eater - http://www.419eater.com/ - got this moron to correspond with one "Mi. Semen Stains", and hold up a sign with this "name" on it. You can read the full exchange at that website.

#11 - Posted by: Yusuf Smith on May 22, 2004 06:02 PM

link

#12 - Posted by: link- on August 15, 2004 07:49 AM

The attacks of September 11th changed America - and in President Bush's words, "in our grief and anger we have found our mission and our moment." President Bush declared war against terror and has made victory in the war on terrorism and the advance of human freedom the priorities of his Administration. Already, the United States military and a great coalition of nations have liberated the people of Afghanistan from the brutal Taliban regime and denied al Qaeda its safe haven of operations. Thousands of terrorists have been captured or killed and operations have been disrupted in many countries around the world. In the President's words, "our Nation - this generation - will lift a dark threat of violence from our people and our future. We will rally the world to this cause by our efforts, by our courage. We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail."

#13 - Posted by: wellbutrin on December 21, 2004 06:07 AM
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