Frank Suggestions for a Post-War Iraq
Since war is almost here, we face the question of what to do with Iraq after the war. The obvious answer is take all its oil, steal all its resources, and pave it over into extra parking for Turkey. Others want to set up a democracy in Iraq, but that sounds complicated. It's much easier to just knock out the entire infrastructure of Iraq, give the Iraqis some small arms, and establish an anarchy so that things will naturally sort themselves out.
Here are some other ideas for a post-war Iraq:
*Secret Ninja Training Ground: We don't have a secret ninja training ground (or maybe we do and it's just secret). The key to this would be making sure no one knows about it. If someone asks what we're doing in Iraq, we say, "Not training ninjas, that's for sure... Hey look behind you! A UFO!"
*The "What Happens When You Piss Off America" Museum: A lot of countries don't completely understand what will happen to them if they make us mad, so let's give them a visual aid. Take all the destruction we do to Iraq and make a museum exhibit out of it. Be great for Kim Jong Il to go see.
*Center of Operations for the Conquering/Oil-Stealing of All of Middle East: Make high tech facitilites in Iraq to help in eventually conquering the rest of the Middle East and stealing their oil. If people start asking what we're doing, shoot them.
*Place to Keep Our Stuff: I know I have a lot of junk that I just don't want to throw away; let's put all of that in Iraq. We could rename the country Ameri-storage.
*No France Allowed Club: Make Iraq a twenty-four hour, seven days a week party. All drinking and dancing and drag-racing through the sand all the time. France can't come, though. They can just stand outside the border and watch us have fun.
Stumble It!
