 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
March 18, 2003
The U.N. Doesn't Have to Be Useless
Wow. It feels like it's just two days before Christmas; war is finally coming and I sure can't wait. To bide the time, I've tried to think of what to do with the U.N. now that it has declared itself useless. You're probably thinking we should hunt down and kill everyone associated with the U.N. and then blow the headquarters to smithereens to forever wipe away their worthlessness from the world, but "waste not, want not" I say. So that's why I've tried to come up with some new uses for the U.N. As for the headquarters, maybe we can turn it into a shopping mall or a monkey house or just leave it as something for throwing rocks at. For the U.N. body itself, I have more ideas: * War can be messy, and we don't want to clean it up. They can do that. * Troops in battle may need towels. They can hand us towels. * Now that we are unburdened by the U.N., we’ll probably get in tons more fights. Thus they can proofread our many declarations of war. * "Hey, U.N. guys, go walk across that field." "But aren't there supposed to be mines there?" "We won't know until you walk across it." * Someone needs to man the stopwatch while we try to break our record on invading a country. * They can go on stage and pretend their opinions still matter as entertainment for our troops. * They can keep track of exactly how much blood is being spent for oil so that we can see if we can improve the ratio. * "Hey, U.N. guys, I think there are terrorists behind that door. You go open it." "Uh-uh. You already had us walk across that field." "Just open the door!" * Humanitarian stuff is boring. They can still do that. 17 Responses To "The U.N. Doesn't Have to Be Useless"
I am all excited, my birthday is Thursday. Imagine the package I get to open on my birthday. I can't wait. Who else gets a war for his birthday? I especially like the T 90S. Thanks. #1 - Posted by: Veeshir on March 18, 2003 09:00 AMTroops in battle may need towels. They can hand us towels. A really politically incorrect person might suggest there'll be plenty of towels laying around already. But I won't, because it'd be mean. #2 - Posted by: apotheosis on March 18, 2003 09:07 AMYou're closer to right than you think, the Europeans are already pissed about being stuck with the occupation duty in Afghanistan. Germany is already getting out, and Turkey has announced they won't stay beyond their 6 month commitment. It's our bed, we get to make it. #3 - Posted by: Barney Gumble on March 18, 2003 09:39 AMI've been trying to identify my feelings since last night's speech by Dubya - when you hit the nail on the head -- "It feels like it's just two days before Christmas". Priceless! #4 - Posted by: Fred D. on March 18, 2003 12:04 PMYears of rent control has created a shortage of low-income housing in NYC, so the United Nations building can be converted into condos for the poor. What's left of the now-discredited UN can move to the former home of the League of Nations, where they can find out for themselves if the curse that did in the League has been lifted or not.:) #5 - Posted by: Bloodthirsty Warmonger on March 18, 2003 01:36 PMI think we ought to turn the first floor of UN HQ into a museum entitled "Lest We Forget". This floor will have a room for each atrocity that occurred in the last century: the Armenian massacres, the Holocaust/Fascism, the USSR/Communism, Rwanda, Bosnia, etc. Then visitors will walk past the upper floors of bureaucrats doing their nothing jobs. Then at the exit there will be a room showing video, audio and pictures of the US armed forces and other militaries freeing prisoners. Over the exit will be a suitable quote. #6 - Posted by: Tim, Imperial Purveyor of Duct Tape on March 18, 2003 09:31 PMGreat idea, Tim...and I got a suitable quote!: "I ask you not to trust me, but to trust our values; and to hold me accountable to living up to them." --Ronald Reagan #7 - Posted by: Tuning Spork on March 18, 2003 11:58 PMGreat TV is on the rise......I hope we can see the Cruise missile cameras again...they rocked in the Gulf War. Lets bomb the crap out of them, and let Allah sort the rest out.....woot woot #8 - Posted by: Mr.Apathy on March 19, 2003 03:43 AMSo many of you find this impending conflict a humorous subject. War is an ugly and dirty busines. It is dehumanizing to all involved. Well, I have. I figure about 200 civilians, 1000 max due to our actions and about 5000 cuz of Chemical Ali. As far as the soldiers....hmmmmmm, let's see, there'll be some doofus' who screw up the instruction on how to surrender and get theyselves kilt. Let's say 500. I guess we'll take out 25% of the Republican guards until some defect and start fighting each other until we introduce the whole clusterf**k to Mr. Moab. Then the newly freed Iraqis will probably lynch of few of the stunned survivors. Ok, let put that number at 75-80% of the Republican Guard taking a dirt nap. I'm as giddy as a school girl getting felt up for the first time....not that I think about that much! Honest! Really! For the UN building itself, I've always liked this idea from the movie 'Heavy Metal': Turn it into low-rent housing. It would improve the neighborhood as well. #10 - Posted by: Harry Canyon on March 19, 2003 04:43 PMThey can provide much needed anal lubrication to the ripped and torn ranks of the US assfuck cowards who stay here, like you Frank, ya fuckin phony bitch. I wouldn't call you such harsh names if you were on the front lines of your beloved war. faggot. #11 - Posted by: swift on March 22, 2003 07:37 PMGive what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think. #12 - Posted by: Rubin Laurie on January 21, 2004 04:45 AMYou people are undereducated pieces of shit- the fact that you know enough to create a website is astonishing. I only hope that the US would leave the UN- and with it they could stop all of their lucrative and explotative trade with the third world countries they enslave. THen the US could just be left alone, to rot and decay into the inevitable anarchy that awaits it. You Yankee Bastards. #13 - Posted by: Cameron on February 26, 2004 01:23 PMHmmm.... US leaving the UN. sounds good to me! anarchy is fuunnnnn!!!!! #14 - Posted by: n00b on February 27, 2004 12:38 PMI think it's funny how the idiot trolls wait until this is buried in the archives before they'll comment on it. Whatsamatter, boys, afraid to face us head-on? Perhaps you wish to join the Limey in IMAO infamy. #15 - Posted by: Big Dog on March 9, 2004 04:56 PMYou people are undereducated pieces of shit- the fact that you know enough to create a website is astonishing. I only hope that the US would leave the UN- and with it they could stop all of their lucrative and explotative trade with the third world countries they enslave. THen the US could just be left alone, to rot and decay into the inevitable anarchy that awaits it. You Yankee Bastards. Posted by: Cameron on February 26, 2004 01:23 PM Fuck your ass, shitty sonofabitch liberal. I can win a debate, know anything you know. Bring it on, clusterf***er! #16 - Posted by: Cameron estupido grande! on June 22, 2004 03:42 PM6686 How can this all be right? Check out my site http://www.pai-gow-keno.com #17 - Posted by: keno on October 5, 2004 12:16 PMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
