IMAO: With All the Different Types of Governments to Choose From, How Can You Go Wrong?

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April 22, 2003

With All the Different Types of Governments to Choose From, How Can You Go Wrong?

Posted by Frank J. at 08:24 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (122)

So now the question is what kind of government should we, the benevolent U.S., establish in Iraq. Before they had a dictator, which made them a dictocracy. Most people want to now establish a democracy, but that doesn't just magically make a good government like some people think. What if the people voting are all jackasses and they elect crack mayors like in D.C.? So here are some other government suggestions.

Republic: This is where Republicans rule the government. This is the one we have and the best of the imperfect governments.

Monarchy: A monarchy is a government ruled by a monarch. According to my dictionary, a monarch is a type of butterfly. This government probably occurs in Europe where people are pansies and might be scared of butterflies. Come on; it's just a butterfly! Bloody coup!

Anarchy: This is where you loot things and smash windows. It's a lot of fun until finally you're like, "Hey, there are no more windows left to smash! Isn't someone going to fix the windows?" and someone else says, "No, dude, this is an anarchy." So then another government has to be set up so the windows can be fixed. Thus anarchy can only last in spurts.

Feudal System: This is a system that involves a lot of arguments, or "Feuding". I think it's stupid, but others may violently disagree, and then we'd have a feudal system.

Autocracy: This is a government ruled by intelligent automobiles. It is the current government of Japan.

Plutocracy: This is a government ruled by Mickey Mouse's dog, Pluto, who is tough but fair. Contrary to popular belief, it has nothing to do with the planet Pluto, which I tell you is one day going to collide into Neptune. Yeah, the scientist say that ain't gonna happen, but I don't believe them. For God's sake, stay off of Pluto!

Ninjatocracy: This is a government that involves a lot of flipping around and cutting people's heads off. It's totally sweet.

Smurfaucracy: This is a form a government where one Iraqi would be the leader and named "Papa Iraqi" and everyone else would get names based on their personalities, like "Brainy Iraqi", "Brawny Iraqi", "Greedy Iraqi", and "Perverted Iraqi." One woman would be named "Iraqette." I'm not sure what would happen to the other women. Also, Iraq and Iraqi would become a universal words that could mean anything - adjective, verb, or noun - just like the f-word but not vulgar. Plus, I think everyone would have to live in mushroom houses. In the one instance this government was practiced, everyone looked happy, but you could sense a deep sadness behind their eyes that told you that everything was not quite so Iraqi.

Popadopalocracy: This is a form of a government that... okay I made this one up.

Chiracracy: Rule comes from a cowardly weasel. Popular in Old Europe.

Benevolent Dictator: This is the theoretical perfect form of government, where one all-knowing and all-caring individual would rule the country… so this is like if I ruled Iraq. But I have a fulltime job and this blog to keep up, so rule your own damn country.

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122 Responses To "With All the Different Types of Governments to Choose From, How Can You Go Wrong?"

Here's proof that you can definitely go wrong with a monarchy.

Since 1939, Pacific Grove California has been ruled by omnipotent Monarch butterflies. Every October school children are dressed in butterfly costumes and put on display for the amusement of the Butterfly Queen. The parade is always lead by kindergartners, dressed as Monarch butterflies. Grades 1-6 follow dressed as friends of the Monarchs such as caterpillars, flowers, and trees. It the most insideous form of policical oppression!

#1 - Posted by: Fritz on April 22, 2003 12:43 PM

Fascism:
A system where the government allows individuals to have just enough say in there own businesses that they think they are making their own decisions.

Saddamocracy:
A system where dissedents are fairly and equally treated to their day in the wood chipper.

#2 - Posted by: Chris on April 22, 2003 01:01 PM

You realize that the Smurfs are a French Creation, I hope. This could cause trouble for you in the VRWC to model a government on it.

#3 - Posted by: MunDane on April 22, 2003 01:08 PM

the smurfs are just plain Communists, really.

#4 - Posted by: Frank J. on April 22, 2003 01:29 PM

whoops, I forgot one; just added it

#5 - Posted by: Frank J. on April 22, 2003 01:42 PM

Somehow I completely overlooked this post until I saw it on Right Wing News! I must be getting senile early.

In any event, well done!

#6 - Posted by: Jay Solo on April 22, 2003 04:17 PM

If I post twice in one day I tend to confuse people :)

I thought the bolded letters would have helped distinguish it.

#7 - Posted by: Frank J. on April 22, 2003 04:26 PM

"Monarchy: A monarchy is a government ruled by a monarch. According to my dictionary, a monarch is a type of butterfly. This government probably occurs in Europe where people are pansies and might be scared of butterflies. Come on; it's just a butterfly! Bloody coup!"

Mothera?

#8 - Posted by: Shpoo on April 22, 2003 04:49 PM

That would me a "Mothocracy", you jackass!

#9 - Posted by: Frank J. on April 22, 2003 06:09 PM

Don't forget cheer-ocracy. I wouldn't mind being lorded over by beautiful cheerleaders.

#10 - Posted by: Chaos Overlord on April 22, 2003 06:14 PM

Gangstarocracy. Chronic on da flag yo.

#11 - Posted by: vachon on April 22, 2003 06:30 PM

Aristockracy: government ruled by Ari Fleischer and funded by his substantial portfolio. A control study of this paradigm is currently underway in the Fleischer household. Seems to be going well.

Demogogracy: modelled on the current governments of France and Germany.

Socialism: political parties are held where the people can eat, drink and socialize. Sort of like Anarchy but without the window smashing. And oh, B.Y.O.B.

#12 - Posted by: Tuning Spork on April 22, 2003 06:45 PM

Democracy: Rule by party that gets the most votes. Often called Democrats.

#13 - Posted by: John F on April 23, 2003 06:32 AM

your morons! I was looking for some useful information, not this crap

#14 - Posted by: on April 25, 2003 12:08 PM

thank god this isn't a democracy then

#15 - Posted by: Dan on April 25, 2003 06:15 PM

Oligarchy - Country in which all women named Olga are sold off to foreign countries in order to pay off national debts. Currently practiced in Russia if my sources are correct.

#16 - Posted by: Nick G on April 26, 2003 11:24 PM

Ok, you're now officially messed up.

#17 - Posted by: ditariel on May 4, 2003 02:58 AM

how is it that shit like this sells

#18 - Posted by: stuart on May 5, 2003 05:50 PM

I would argue with that you should leave out "smart" from the title. This site is pure BS.

#19 - Posted by: Mark on May 5, 2003 07:42 PM

France Sucks

#20 - Posted by: Big John on June 19, 2003 06:06 PM

the united states sucks

#21 - Posted by: faction on July 17, 2003 02:56 PM

Kill Faction! Wait...I think Faction is a french guy...hmm...we need a scary cat to kill him.

#22 - Posted by: John Henory on July 24, 2003 07:46 PM

Or...a dead scary cat...since french people are cowards. Proven by TV....

#23 - Posted by: Joey McPoppa on July 24, 2003 07:49 PM

Chickenism: A government that is ruled by chickens and the world is completely insane.

#24 - Posted by: Alfred Chicken on September 2, 2003 10:06 PM

This is bullshit i was looking for a real site not a page with really bad jokes you dickhead

#25 - Posted by: Freddy Thompson on September 2, 2003 10:16 PM

This sucks i came to see if
i could learn about like federal system and all that

#26 - Posted by: Artemis on September 12, 2003 01:58 PM

Er...very unique website. Nice interpretations of the governments, but uh... was kinda hoping for facts about the governments

#27 - Posted by: Kaylee on September 12, 2003 02:56 PM

your page is WEIRD!

#28 - Posted by: no-nonesense on September 15, 2003 08:34 PM

Hey, people, it's not my fault that your Google searches come here. Now be nice.

#29 - Posted by: Frank J. on September 20, 2003 11:44 PM

peacecracy: a government ruled by peace loving hippies who usually only end up getting high and turning there constitution into rolling papers.

#30 - Posted by: What? on September 29, 2003 10:00 PM

When Iraq got blew off the map that was just a prime example of what is going to happen to anybody else who messes with the United States

#31 - Posted by: spider on September 30, 2003 09:23 AM

This site is stupid I expected to get help for my project not this bullshit

#32 - Posted by: spade on September 30, 2003 09:28 AM

this website is a cool when making fun of governments. I am starting a new type of government. Its called the Code of Thomas, named after my father. It is based on a REAL constitutional republic, fascism, and nationalism. And by the way, to hell with the United Nations. Lets send those commies back to France!

#33 - Posted by: joe McCarthy on September 30, 2003 08:55 PM

I hate the illuminati. They were founded in Germany, with one goal, to destroy all religion and governments.
.....why do all friggin idiots come from Germany and France?

#34 - Posted by: joe McCarthy on September 30, 2003 08:59 PM

i wannna know what the features are of a dictatorship!!!

#35 - Posted by: KeZ on October 28, 2003 01:26 AM

i came to find info but i only found a laugh love the anarchy bit ive been trying to prove that for a while well i guess i better get back to my soc FRANK you have to be really messed up its ok normal people suck!!!! as for the damn french go stick your head in the ground you dirty homos!

#36 - Posted by: fucktard on November 1, 2003 02:15 AM

This web site is the most incorrect site i have ever visited. I have never heard so much complete shit. Republicans suck, that is why our government is in the crapper right now.

#37 - Posted by: Mike on November 4, 2003 03:28 PM

i came to learn stuff but i found this way more amusing than learning.

#38 - Posted by: anti on November 9, 2003 02:17 PM

Hello, its all good. This site didnt have all the types of government with good information about it. I'll go find a better one. BYE!

#39 - Posted by: Opa on November 20, 2003 09:01 PM

I came here looking for information didnt help me much but a laugh then i found a ninja site which was damn funn and i lost my way and forgot what i was doing.

#40 - Posted by: Chancy on November 24, 2003 04:40 AM

that wuz funny i wuz lookin fo info but i wuz laughing it up i'm still laughing

#41 - Posted by: me on November 24, 2003 07:45 PM

gay site author should get a life. site sucks. fagget author.

#42 - Posted by: tis site sucks on December 1, 2003 01:15 PM

I don't care what you say you dick I wanted a real web site.

#43 - Posted by: Mr Penis on December 2, 2003 09:51 PM

I'm so horny,horny,horny i'm going to bone your grandma

#44 - Posted by: The Horny Penisman on December 2, 2003 09:54 PM

Thanks for having a good web site. I'm sitting history and was looking for types of governments when I cam across this two words YOU FAG

#45 - Posted by: on December 2, 2003 09:55 PM

Frank your site is so shit but ill bone your granny anyway my fee is $700

#46 - Posted by: The Horny Penisman on December 2, 2003 10:03 PM

Frank your monkey picture is pretty arousing

#47 - Posted by: The Horny Penisman on December 2, 2003 10:05 PM

frank im so tempted by the picture of the monkey send me a blow up version please.

#48 - Posted by: The Horny Penisman on December 2, 2003 10:08 PM

Hi its me again i still want your granny

#49 - Posted by: The Horny Penisman on December 3, 2003 06:01 PM

Hey Frank that picture of the monkey strayed into my dreams last night could you please sent the plastic blow up version soon i just can't stop having these solo flights anymore.

#50 - Posted by: The Horny Penisman on December 3, 2003 06:06 PM

iwould like to know about government back in 1730-1944

#51 - Posted by: on December 9, 2003 01:01 PM

this is really bad and uneducated information some people want accurate information you wouldn't know the definition of democracy even if it really did exist and you were living in it.

#52 - Posted by: on January 10, 2004 12:37 PM

i was looking for types of government not this bull shit you guys suck ass

#53 - Posted by: ass hole on January 12, 2004 01:02 PM

"When Iraq got blew off the map that was just a prime example of what is going to happen to anybody else who messes with the United States"

Who ever fucken wrote this is a moron, China has a larger army, North Korea could nuke you're fucken yakes ass and shut all of you i-breeds up.

Canadian And Proud!

(P.S If you see someone wearing an army uniform, shitting lots, run you fucking yanks, its shit pants Lee Barber!

#54 - Posted by: on January 15, 2004 02:35 PM

So proud he didn't even post his name.

What's that aboot?

#55 - Posted by: Simon Jester on January 27, 2004 08:16 AM

The proud canadian doesn't know his geography very well either. If someone nukes the US, I'm thinking that canada is gonna be pretty screwed too...

#56 - Posted by: Clancy on January 27, 2004 08:41 AM

When the teacher asked Buckwheat to use the word "dictate" in a sentence, he answered,"Darla say my dictate gooood!"

#57 - Posted by: Sticky B on January 27, 2004 09:58 AM

And China's going to get its army here now...? The Brits showed the way - just control the seas and who gives a shit how many of them there are.

Not sure why some idiot Canadian thinks America getting taken over would be a good thing - doesn't he like being safe and warm as things are now?

#58 - Posted by: ? on January 27, 2004 10:16 AM

I put yor info in my social stdiez pap3r, and I get a F. My teechur says therez no such th1ng az Ninjatocracy. U SUK!!11 --1k3wl0r

----

Hilarious, Frank, especially Monarchy. I missed this one the first time, too.

#59 - Posted by: Tanya on January 27, 2004 10:38 AM

Oh my gosh, that's the funniest thing I've ever seen! You must've had a lot of people linking to you to get such a high search ranking! LOL! I never realized how many idiots there are out there with internet access! (explains Dean's campaign supporters though... :o)

#60 - Posted by: Jewels of the Jungle on January 27, 2004 12:25 PM

I think Proud Canadian is right about North Korea. As soon as they perfect their Amphibious Rickshaw Delivery System, they could nuke San Francisco. Or a barge.

#61 - Posted by: Arnold on January 27, 2004 03:15 PM

Once we get our SDI up and running North Korea and China won't mean shit to us. THEN we can focus our efforts on Canada and Mexico.

I can't believe all these morons actually came to the site by accident then left a comment telling Frank how much he sucks for having this site. These people should commit suicide so they don't propagate more morons.

#62 - Posted by: Shorty on January 27, 2004 11:06 PM

This is some funny shit

#63 - Posted by: on January 28, 2004 10:42 AM

mexico can kick all of ya'lls ass

#64 - Posted by: on January 28, 2004 10:45 AM

hell yeah mexico can bring all you mother fuckers down with our home made bombs and shit.

#65 - Posted by: on January 28, 2004 10:48 AM

I'm a proud Canadian just like the other bitch canadian

#66 - Posted by: on January 28, 2004 10:49 AM

Viva mexico and argentina

#67 - Posted by: on January 28, 2004 10:51 AM

Invasion of the third-grade social studies tards... Poor baby got an F...ROFL!!!

Next week's class topic: How does Google work, and Why You Can't Believe Everything On The Internet?

Seriously kids! Frank J is an excellent and reliable research source. You can quote me on that!

#68 - Posted by: Desert Cat on January 28, 2004 06:32 PM

If you don't like what Frank writes why do you continue to read it?

Losers

#69 - Posted by: bombarafat on January 29, 2004 09:01 AM

ilove frank j

#70 - Posted by: on January 29, 2004 01:37 PM

hello frank

#71 - Posted by: on January 29, 2004 03:19 PM

Frank is a gay ass bitch who writes dumbass fucking jokes

#72 - Posted by: on January 29, 2004 03:20 PM

HILARIOUS!

#73 - Posted by: Dave the Australian on January 30, 2004 09:02 PM

this is the most fucked up site on the universe, i thought it was meant to be slagging monarchy not frank

#74 - Posted by: Samira on February 7, 2004 07:09 AM

hey i think this site needs more work okkkkkkkkkkkk you fool how ever made this site souck you know why becuse it doesn't have all informeantion that people needs like me.............. keep working on this site or that worn't be good fool

#75 - Posted by: zohra on February 8, 2004 03:25 PM

xavi sucks

#76 - Posted by: on February 10, 2004 02:38 PM

Marcos sucks

#77 - Posted by: on February 11, 2004 11:13 AM

Hey um if any sorry ass third world country ever shot a nuke at us we would just blow the shit out the entire world!!!!! mu hu ha ha ha ha!!! oh and as for you Canadian Fuckers, your Country has like 4 people livin in it, and 1 of those is accually in the military. if you piss us off, we'll just send in some hicks with shotguns tellin them you pansy's shot Dale Earnheart..........fuckin Canadian Pansy's ..........GO AMERICA!!!!!!!!!

#78 - Posted by: Narrow-minded Fatass American and damn proud!!! on March 2, 2004 07:01 PM

I thought this was REAL information. So i spent all my time looking through THIS and now its time to leave and NOW i'm going to fail and Now my life is ruined... Oh no! What am i going to do. I am writing in despair. My 89th FAILING GRADE!
Thanks a lot!

- done for

#79 - Posted by: crap! on March 4, 2004 09:01 AM

"Before they had a dictator, which made them a dictocracy."

Uhm....shouldn't it be "dicktator" and "dicktocracy"?

#80 - Posted by: on April 27, 2004 11:28 AM

I love the fact that pople who accidentally stumble across this whilst looking for actual information take the time to read it, and then take the time to post some oh-so-witty insult instead of just thinking "oh, a joke website, i'd best move along then".

By the way, Frank J > All

#81 - Posted by: Pete the Australian on May 13, 2004 09:29 AM

i am gay my name is dave call me on 01509 554089.thaNK YOU AND GOD PLESS I LOVE U ALL VERY MUCH AND I HOPE TO MARRY U ALL !!

#82 - Posted by: dave wright on May 28, 2004 06:53 AM

nice website

#83 - Posted by: dan glab on May 28, 2004 12:34 PM

Good job. I wet myself it was so funny.

#84 - Posted by: dan grab on May 28, 2004 12:35 PM

good job suck harder

#85 - Posted by: dan glab on May 28, 2004 12:37 PM

funny awesome website.

#86 - Posted by: dan glab on May 28, 2004 12:38 PM

Funny. I shit my pants Nice dick long and hairy. suck hardrer

#87 - Posted by: Daniel M Glab on May 28, 2004 12:39 PM

Ben hayes likes to fart . i m going to hrow p.

#88 - Posted by: ben on May 28, 2004 12:41 PM

#89 - Posted by: andy eo on May 28, 2004 12:41 PM

My name is Daniel Glab. I am gay. I met my boyfriend, Ben Hayes off of your site,Ben Hayes

#90 - Posted by: daniel glab on June 15, 2004 09:06 PM

Enjoy reading this post.

#91 - Posted by: mike on July 18, 2004 10:54 PM

I come here looking for information about governments, and all I find is some damn conservative joke site! Thanks a lot, Google! (You piece of shit!)

#92 - Posted by: Bill Clinton on August 13, 2004 08:07 PM

Putinocracy: A criminal oligarchy, ruled by a former communist, in process of being overthrown by an Islamo-fascist quilting circle of premenstrual ladies in puptents.

#93 - Posted by: Casey on August 31, 2004 10:55 PM

Can you erase everything else, and put useful facts?

#94 - Posted by: on September 14, 2004 05:32 PM

i was trying to find some info but got s goog laugh instead....thanks...arghhh...back 2 work

#95 - Posted by: Simmey on September 16, 2004 06:52 PM

whoever made this site is a piece of shit and need to lick a cock.

#96 - Posted by: on October 1, 2004 10:41 AM

you really suck this info is useless i hate you

#97 - Posted by: angry man on October 1, 2004 10:42 AM

u people have no life and u should go screw a donkey.

#98 - Posted by: on October 14, 2004 08:11 AM

nukism:a government where everyone has been nuked and humans have been mutated into hideos and horny monsters.

#99 - Posted by: on October 14, 2004 08:12 AM

nukism:a government where everyone has been nuked and humans have been mutated into hideos and horny monsters.

#100 - Posted by: on October 14, 2004 08:18 AM

this web site is fuckin halarious even though i was looking for diffrent types of goverment im glad i found this it gave me a reason not to do my work

#101 - Posted by: mr.rogers on October 14, 2004 08:25 AM

Mr. Rogers is a peice of shit and no1 likes him.

#102 - Posted by: on October 14, 2004 08:26 AM

hey man go fuck yourself u peice of shit

#103 - Posted by: mr.rogers on October 14, 2004 08:28 AM

u fuckin cum shot

#104 - Posted by: on October 14, 2004 08:29 AM

no way mr rogers i like grls

#105 - Posted by: c-man on October 14, 2004 08:29 AM

Mr Rogers fucked a donkey last nite

#106 - Posted by: c-man on October 15, 2004 08:03 AM

i live in south africa and down here its fonzocracy for all,we all wear leather jackets and slick back our hair,life couldnt get any better....

#107 - Posted by: jdizzle on October 15, 2004 08:55 AM

Great info, very humorous. Now to you canadians QUIT YER BITCHING! All you ever do is cry about big brother America. Hell if I were president I'd have troops invade your sorry ass excuse for a country, and then it would really be a war for.....OIL! How come canadians are so ball-less? Oh is it because you are in bed with that Chiraq guy who has as much relevance as a michael moore movie? Is that it? Well considering that mr PM of france is catering to muslims with islamic law I guess you are doing the same, so regaurdless or not we are going to invade your country anyway because canada harbors terrorists.

#108 - Posted by: The Liberal Slayer on November 5, 2004 01:19 AM

#109 - Posted by: The Liberal Slayer on November 5, 2004 01:19 AM

I'm hoping this site is a joke. If not, you've at least shown me that there really are people more stupid, ignorant, and arrogant than George W. Bush.

#110 - Posted by: on November 6, 2004 02:56 AM

I'm new to this site, just browsing around

#111 - Posted by: Big Tit on November 13, 2004 11:01 PM

how are u doin

#112 - Posted by: on November 19, 2004 11:24 AM

man, you guys that thought this was a real info site and are now bitching your heads off are a bunch of dumbasses.
seriously, the words "let it go" come to mind.

#113 - Posted by: dagny on November 26, 2004 02:04 AM

u guys suck

#114 - Posted by: on December 1, 2004 08:26 PM

what is a Totalitarian?? i've been trying to think about that stupid tongue twister for days!!!!!!!!!

#115 - Posted by: Rickie (strawberry) on December 15, 2004 12:24 PM

Hey Dagny!!! Thanx for calling me a dumbass you butt muncher!!! I was really dumb enough to think this was actually a info site!!!!! so hahahaha screw you babe!!!!!

Rickie lives to screw with minds!!!!!!!

#116 - Posted by: Rickie ( Strawberry) on December 15, 2004 12:29 PM

Why is it the fucken commies/losers/liberals/kerrites/foreign assholes, never leave their name by their posts very often?

Great site.

Don't like google?

Use the Elmer fudd version.
http://www.google.com/intl/xx-elmer/

#117 - Posted by: Tait on December 30, 2004 08:46 PM

My crotch burns with the loving fires of Allah!

#118 - Posted by: Shitaki Mushroom on January 13, 2005 05:48 PM

i dont have time for this shit

#119 - Posted by: ramrod on February 19, 2005 04:28 AM

Im British and just to let u scummy americans know, we the people of Britain hate you all and wait for the day ur destruction

#120 - Posted by: Burn U.S Dogs on April 14, 2005 01:43 PM

I was looking for real info!!

#121 - Posted by: on April 25, 2005 07:53 PM

IMAOcracy: A stupid government that makes fun of other governments and will get their butts kicked!!!

#122 - Posted by: on April 25, 2005 07:55 PM