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May 02, 2003
Some People Like Michael Moore!
Posted by Frank J. at 10:47 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (47)

My hate mail to Michael Moore (of which I never did get a deserving response) was probably my most popular post yet, judging from the number of links to it and the how many positive comments were left with it. But, I just checked again, and the last two comments are not very positive at all!

Chris Ball wrote:

If ever I needed reminding, reading the Michael Moore article reminded me why I hate Americans. What a bunch of twats you really are. Mr Moore is surely a rarity as he is an American who has more than two brain cells. At least the rest of the World (excluding Israel and Poodle Blair) understand what a dangerous nation America is. Of course, the majority of you wouldn't realise this because of the old lack of brain cells. At least your current fear of all things non American will keep the majority of you gun loving, God fearing, black hating, crazy Republicans out of Europe. Long may it continue.

Encouraged, mm lover wrote:

WAY TO GO CHRIS BALL!!! The letter to Michael Moore was anything but humorous. I kept waiting for it to get "hysterically funny."

"But he's fat and ugly!" What profound comments Frank. Freaking HILARIOUS! At least Michael Moore has something intelligent to say about the terrible state that America is in, whether you agree with it or not, you should respect other opinions, instead of stooping lower than low.

But instead you'll continue being narrowminded, you'll keep living in this website BUBBLE where America's foreign policy is A-ok.

Why are you so TERRIFIED of him? Could it be because part of what Michael Moore says it the cold hard truth? Wake up! USA is a corporate free market disaster! I feel sick knowing this time of apathetic attitude still exists.

And YES, as Chris Ball was saying, you're playing into the "dumb American" stereotype perfectly by being so closed off. If only you know what the world really thought of you.

They left their e-mail's, so, of course, I decided to engage them in a scholarly discussion:

Thank you for your comments in response to my Michael Moore hate mail, Chris Ball and mm lover. You brought up some great points, so I wanted to respond. For the sake of convenience, I'm going to refer to you respectively as Cheech and Chong, so please keep in mind who you are to avoid confusion.

Now, Cheech, you are quite right, the rest of the world realizes what a dangerous nation America is, which is why most of them don't write us hate mail (we are gun-loving as you like to point out, and God knows we haven't nuked something in ages are just itching to do so). And you are quite right that Michael Moore is a man who has more than two brain cells; it requires a much more complicated mass of neurons to be able to make loud noises through his vocal cavity like he does. As for us being black hating and God-fearing (never heard that used as an insult before), I have a funny anecdote about that. The other day I saw this black man, and I was like, "Black man! I hate you!"

And he said, "But I'm Korean!"

So I yelled back, "Serves you right, you crazy black man!" I was about to go lynch him, but then I thought I saw the Lord, and, being God-fearing, I ran away. I really have to get over that fear of God, as it is quite disabilitating since God is everywhere (except for parts of Europe).

Now Chong, you are quite right that the reason we hate Michael Moore has nothing to do with him being a hideous prick who seems to have no genuine concern for his fellow man, but instead it's because we are terrified of him and his cold hard truth. We know that soon he will defeat our corporate America and take leadership himself. Then there will be portraits and statues of Michael Moore everywhere (wow, think of all the stone that we'll use up to make even a life-size statue of him). We'll be kept in line in our socialist paradise by numerous unshaven, unshowered Michael Moore look-alikes (shudder).

Well, before that happens, I'm sure we'll get to do some more violence to other nations first. Right now there is a debate to bomb the crap out of Europe and drill it for oil. I pointed out that there is no oil there, but they responded with, "But drilling is fun!" and, frankly, I don't have a response to that.

Keep coming back to IMAO.us. I hope you find my posts more humorous in the future. I like to keep a diversity of opinion here... unless of course you're some hippy or a communist. Then I hope you die some horrible death.

Frank J.

BTW, I'll have a very special post that I'll be putting up a little later today. Oh, and one more thing, Michael Moore is fat!

Rating: 2.6/5 (30 votes cast)

I Hate Frank
~Michael Moore
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