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May 03, 2003
Filthy Lies III
It's Saturday, so once again it's time to spread filthy lies about Glenn Reynolds! Now everyone know that not only does Glenn Reynolds puts puppies in blenders, but that he also worships Satan and murders hobos, and it looks to me like his traffic has declined once again. At this rate, he'll have negative 20,000 unique visitors by the end of the year, but, to be on the safe side, here's a new filthy lie: So I was taking a walk through the park when suddenly I saw Glenn Reynolds talking to an Asian man. All I caught was the end of the conversation where the Asian man told Glenn Reynolds, "Thank you, comrade." And here is yet more unconvincing photographic evidence of my blatant lie:
I also wanted to have an animated .gif of him doing the robot dance, but my photoshopping skills just aren't that good. Anyway, here is the new filthy lie to spread: Glenn Reynolds is a puppy blending, Satan Worshipping, hobo murdering, Communist spy who does a better than average robot dance. Now go out and spread the word, especially making sure the FBI knows. They'll put out a report saying, "Make sure not to visit Glenn Reynolds's site; he's probably collecting information on you to give to the Chinese Communists. Instead, visit IMAO.us, which, if anything, makes Communists know even less than they did before after they've read it." Muh ha ha ha! Soon all the traffic in the blogosphere will be mine! UPDATE: Fritz of On the Fritz made this animated .gif proving Glenn Reynolds dances the robot - or some similar dance - thus proving all the lies I've said.
21 Responses To "Filthy Lies III"
Okay Frank, you've convinced me to stop visiting that "other" site. I could live with the puppy blending, Hobo worshipping and Satan murdering but I, being a veteran and a proud American, have to draw the line here. Glenn rides a moped?! That's just disgusting. (The robot dancing didn't help his case either, BTW) #1 - Posted by: JFH on May 3, 2003 10:02 AMThree possibilities: 1. Glenn Reynolds is of normal height, and Mao is 3'1" 2. Mao is of normal height, and Glenn Reynolds is 11'6" 3. Both are of normal height and they just -- what with his stand on Santorum, and -- and --I mean, just look at their strangely satisfied expressions and--. Oh God. I'm going to be sick! #2 - Posted by: Bill Whittle on May 3, 2003 10:17 AMWen Ho Li crap Batman! I know you were probably shaken up by the whole robot dance rap thing, but did he try to swerve the moped into anything that looked like a Navy airplane? #3 - Posted by: Wind Rider on May 3, 2003 10:43 AMI used to like Glenn Reynolds' writing. But now that I know he's a pinko Satanist who blends puppies and rides a scooter he must be stopped. When the tiger-mounted chimpanzees are done feasting on Michael Moore's carcass I'm sure they'll be ready for a helping of puppy-spiced Glenn. Of course that could be a while. Moore is really fat and it's taking the tigers a while to devour his body. I just couldn't get upset about his murdering hobos. They are smelly and fewer of them can't be bad. And if he moves on to filthy hippies next I just might tolerate his commie ways. Until the hippies are dead that is. Glenn, come to Boston. There are lots of smelly hippies here and I'm sure some of them are hobos too. #4 - Posted by: SSG B on May 3, 2003 10:54 AMStill not convinced. Maybe he was actually giving the guy the recipe for the cure for SARS and he was just lying to you because he eschews any kind of publicity and didn't want the public to find out that he's not a terrible puppy-eating hobo-killing monster after all, but a benevolent research scientist who wants to bring peace, health, flowers and fuzzy bunnies to the world. #5 - Posted by: michele on May 3, 2003 11:35 AMGlen Reynolds is a handsome young man. I prefer more pictures of him, and fewer of the monkeys. #6 - Posted by: Marie on May 3, 2003 11:38 AMFewer monkeys? Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Me like monkeys. #7 - Posted by: Alan Forrester on May 3, 2003 11:59 AMTwo possibilities: 1. Mao is in hell, and Glenn Reynolds is supervising part of his damnation. 2. Mao is alive, sharing half of duplex Mao shares with Hitler and Bin Laden, and is pissed because this freeloader Hussein crashes on the couch these days. Glenn Reynolds stopped by to return the fondue he'd borrowed. #8 - Posted by: Brian J. on May 3, 2003 01:16 PMYou ever wonder if this might backfire on you, driving people to Glenn instead of away? After all, there's a lot of commies left in the world, and if they learn Glenn is secretly one of their own, they might flock to him. #9 - Posted by: Jay Solo on May 3, 2003 01:25 PMIs it true that the fury of these rantings is a direct result of Glenn asking Scott Ott to be his running mate in the 2004 presidential election instead of you? I understand their slogan will be Scrapple for breakfast and puppies too! #10 - Posted by: Richard A. Heddleson on May 3, 2003 01:38 PM"Instead, visit IMAO.us, which, if anything, makes Communists know even less than they did before after they've read it."
Looking at glenn's left pocket, either his penis starts in a really weird place, or he's got a vibrator in there. M #12 - Posted by: Michael D on May 4, 2003 04:52 PMSSG B, You damned fool. As big as Michael Moore is, the monkeys will never be done feasting on his bloated carcass. As for Glenn Reynolds, I heard over at Atrios that he eats obese monkeys that feasted for years on Michael Moore's fatty underarm tumors, and he wears a toupee woven of Moore's copious navel-lint. #13 - Posted by: Omnibus Bill on May 4, 2003 11:14 PMOK, I don't know if this is technically a "robot" dance, but it probably comes close. That's the wave, not a robot dance! And in the immortal words of Homer J. Simpson, "Needs more dog." #15 - Posted by: Grido on May 8, 2003 12:33 PMAll sentences that seem true should be questioned. #16 - Posted by: Lachman Dave on March 16, 2004 01:18 AM Guitar Tabs | What does IMAO stand for? #18 - Posted by: Jason on July 17, 2004 09:51 PMGreat website and interesting blog. Baccarat online , That's really big site with lots of cool stuff. #21 - Posted by: r3d1p5 on November 25, 2004 01:40 AMPost a comment
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