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May 10, 2003
The Final Filthy Lie
It's Saturday, and thus it's time for the final filthy lie about Glenn Reynolds. I think I peaked with my first one when I claimed he put puppies in blenders, but I continued on to say he is a Satan worshipping hobo murderer and that he is a Communist spy who dances the robot. You can see his traffic on a downward slope from all these lies, but I think I'll finish it off with the worstest lie of all: I was walking through the park again, and I saw Glenn Reynolds and was going to avoid that evil man, but he sped up to me on his moped. Here's more poorly made photographic evidence of this crime against humanity:
So here is the final filthy lie to spread: Glenn Reynolds is a puppy blending, Satan worshipping, hobo murdering, robot dancing Communist spy who punched your beloved Frank J. Tell the news, tell congress, tell other bloggers even; the lie must spread and his traffic must plunge for reasons I've now forgotten. But I think I'm going to laugh evilly anyway. Bwa ha ha ha ha! So what do I do next Saturday? I guess I could spread lies about other bloggers such as Misha (not actually an emperor) and Rachel (not actually a woman), but I want it to be a really big target like Glenn Reynolds. Hmm... 20 Responses To "The Final Filthy Lie"
Tool. #1 - Posted by: James G on May 10, 2003 09:50 AMHammer? Screwdriver? Plumber's Helper? What do you need, James? Talk to me, brother. #2 - Posted by: Michael Ubaldi on May 10, 2003 09:58 AMIf you look here I'm sure you'll come up with some good candidates among the higher beings, mortal humans and, your favorite, the playful primates. #3 - Posted by: Jay Solo on May 10, 2003 11:36 AMWaddya know, truth in advertising! But then, it says I'm an "Insignificant Microbe", so even the Bear gets it wrong sometimes. #5 - Posted by: Pixy Misa on May 10, 2003 12:47 PMNot really an Emperor? Explain THAT to the evil minions of BC, the Imperial Torturer! #6 - Posted by: Emperor Misha I on May 10, 2003 01:24 PMuh-oh... Hey Frank, hate to break it to ya, but those BC evil minions... remember those folks I mentioned about the kneecapping work? uh huh. #7 - Posted by: Wind Rider on May 10, 2003 02:26 PMSpeaking of primates, the acronym awards are now up. #8 - Posted by: Jay Solo on May 10, 2003 04:21 PMPoor beloved Frank :(( I believe all your filthy lies now!! #9 - Posted by: Ith on May 10, 2003 05:57 PMFinally, Glenn does something I can really get behind. #10 - Posted by: Hermetic on May 10, 2003 08:15 PMTake care, lest the Emperor unleash his Minister of War upon you!!! Oh wait... #11 - Posted by: Ghost of a flea on May 10, 2003 08:16 PMthat bastard! i can't believe he'd hit an innocent frank! or ride a moped! death to glenn! oh. um. not death exactly. he did send me a very nice note. a stubbed toe to glenn reynolds! #12 - Posted by: tanya on May 11, 2003 01:33 PMNext thing you know, Frank will be claiming that I'm neither Venomous nor a bitch. #13 - Posted by: Venomous Kate on May 11, 2003 05:08 PMMan, Glenn must have married well. You never hear about Instawife complaining about his exploits. But if I try to eat a single cat to assume the remainder of its lives for my own immortality, my esteemed spouse thwarts me. However will a man achieve his meglomaniacal goals? #14 - Posted by: Brian J. on May 11, 2003 06:25 PMA moped? I would think a Segway would have been more appropriate. #15 - Posted by: Ernie G on May 11, 2003 09:29 PMYou say that Misha is not Emperor? Well, you got yourself on the top of the list “To Be Executed”, buster! My preferred way of eliminating Enemies of the Empire is the French Guillotine, but for you have reserved a nice Iron Maiden, complete with rusty spikes……I am looking forward to your screams! HAHAHAHAHA Lady Executioner of the Empire #16 - Posted by: Katherine on May 11, 2003 11:05 PMAaaaaah. I don't care what lies he tells, 's long as he doesn't spread them about me... (Translation: Hurry up with that innuendo, Frank. Geez, what the hell am I paying you for, anyways...?) :-D speak your minds motherfuckers #18 - Posted by: on July 18, 2004 05:41 PMand you didn' look up my ass before you posted my word Post a comment
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