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May 30, 2003
Frank Tips for Meeting With Jacques Chirac
President Bush will be meeting with Jacques Chirac today for the first time since the war, so I have some tips for him about the meeting: * Start by working the body. You'll want to start slow, which means a series of punches to his gut. * Use object in the room around you. This doesn't just mean to pick up those objects and break them over Chirac, put to also use Chriac's head to break objects that are too big to pick up. * Make sure to build up some momentum before smashing his head into the wall. You'll need some good momentum to leave a nice impression in the drywall. * Avoid the sleeper hold. It's pointless if he's unconscious. * Remember your joints. Joints such as your knee and elbow make great blunt weapons. Don't forget to use them. * Use your body weight. Eventually it will become tiresome to keep propping Chirac up. Then you may want to do some elbow drops on him. * When he is down, Texas Two-Step. Like I have to remind you. * This isn't boxing; all blows are legal. Some may say it's unsporting to go for the groin, but I say it makes a nice finale after you've thoroughly beaten him through other means.
20 Responses To "Frank Tips for Meeting With Jacques Chirac"
What kind of wussy advice is that? Either: * Heel of the palm to the bridge of the nose- sending shards of cartilige into his brain, killing him immediately. * Nuke France before he lands. (Might want to give a warning shout-out to Blair first.) * Black Project Insano #1 - Posted by: Hermetic on May 30, 2003 09:57 AMDon't call me a wuss. You still don't even know what Black Project Insano is. #2 - Posted by: Frank J. on May 30, 2003 10:00 AMI assumed it was an anagram of bad poetry about switching internet service but getting customer retention calls. "Soon I pack. Object AOL." #3 - Posted by: TheYeti on May 30, 2003 10:05 AMKill him immediately? Why would anyone want to do that? Frank I'm surprised at you. As an EE myself the first thing I usually think of for injuring another person is the business end of a 100A generator attached to the gonads. Electro-nut-shock therapy is where it's at. #4 - Posted by: Steve D. on May 30, 2003 10:11 AMFrank, thats good GENERAL advice but I agree about the electro-nut-shock therapy...Chirac NEEDS somthing to make him feel like a man. #5 - Posted by: Chris on May 30, 2003 10:24 AMOT but important: Kevin still needs money! Dissappointed Frank - absolutely no mention whatsoever of ball peen hammers on fingers and toes in an attempt to play 'Jingle Bells' ow ow ow, ow ow ow, ow ow, ow, ow ow and so on #7 - Posted by: Wind Rider on May 30, 2003 12:13 PMMight also want to mention that locking the conference room door is a good idea... it would be annoying to have constant interruptions from Chiraq's bodyguards. #8 - Posted by: Mollbot on May 30, 2003 12:40 PMI think he should bring Rummy along, strapped with a blow torch and a pair of pliers #9 - Posted by: gaskar on May 30, 2003 12:47 PMI think the Prez should so him one of the freedoms that Americans have... the right of the people to keep and bear Arms. So George, pull out that Colt model 1911 and show him how a real american shoots #10 - Posted by: lplimac on May 30, 2003 01:38 PMPresident Bush: Monsieur Chirac? Let me introduce a young friend of mine, Buck the Marine. Buck, this is Monsieur Chirac, the President of France. Buck the Marine: Then he's a foreigner, isn't he? President Bush: (Smiling as he turns on his camcorder) That's right, Buck..... #11 - Posted by: Hodadenon on May 30, 2003 01:54 PMOK, first off, that whole heel-to-the-nose is an old wive's tale. It doesn't actually work. I think that what President Bush needs to do is a little homework, provided by the U.S. Army (that's right, I said ARMY, not Marines! Although I still dig Buck). If someone could get him to this site, it would be much appreciated. http://www.cavalrypilot.com/walltowall/ #12 - Posted by: vegesigo on May 30, 2003 02:31 PMKeep and bear arms? I agree: Jacques Chirac's arms would make good trophies, and you know they'll be rock hard, since he has to raise them so often to surrender. #13 - Posted by: Kelvin on May 30, 2003 03:58 PMYou're forgetting one very important point here: Chirac is french. ha ha ha damn french guy #15 - Posted by: Joey D on May 31, 2003 12:36 AMslight problem with the electro-shock idea; everyone knows the french have no balls.(obvious shot, but I had to take it) #16 - Posted by: Akula on May 31, 2003 05:34 AMI say negotiate, conciliate, bargain, give and take, always compromise - continuously for 24 hours (36 tops). If you have not gotten EVERYTHING you wanted, NUKE the bastards! Next Case ... let's keep'em moving! #17 - Posted by: Purdy Dern Mad on May 31, 2003 12:03 PMi love your site http://dishtv.freehomepage.com #18 - Posted by: dish tv network on October 30, 2004 08:00 PMplease donate your used clothing to help the poor for a list of used clothing centers http://pused.webhostzero.com/ #19 - Posted by: wet used panties clothing on October 31, 2004 08:25 AMi'm looking for http://steelbuildings.angelcities.com #20 - Posted by: steel buildings on November 1, 2004 09:48 AMPost a comment
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