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June 04, 2003
87 Responses To "One Score and Four Years Ago..."
Any preference? Such as gold, but no golden? Happy Birthday Frank. #1 - Posted by: Wind Rider on June 4, 2003 08:57 AMThe world has been made safer for democracy by your brilliance and humor....Happy Birthday! #2 - Posted by: Susie on June 4, 2003 09:00 AMHappy B-Day, Frank. So when does Bill Whittle jump out of the cake and give $5 lap dances? #3 - Posted by: Steve D. on June 4, 2003 09:04 AMHappy birthday, Frank. Please don't nuke the moon. We like the moon. http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/ #4 - Posted by: Jamie on June 4, 2003 09:07 AMBill Whittle is giving lap dances? Count me in! Happy Birthday, you sick, depraved bastard. (said with love) #5 - Posted by: michele on June 4, 2003 09:08 AMOh, Frank! You're so wonderful! (swoon) Happy Birthday, Frank, and thanks for the great entertainment (almost) every day. #6 - Posted by: Jennifer on June 4, 2003 09:20 AMOnly 24? I'd have guessed you were a lot older! Happy birthday, anyway! #7 - Posted by: James Joyner on June 4, 2003 09:21 AMI wan going to say Happy Birthday, but got distracted by the frankly disturbing image of Bill Whittle giving $15 lapdances. I wouldn't pay more than $10 for him... Oh yes, Happy Birthday Frank. Now go hurt some monkeys. #8 - Posted by: ed on June 4, 2003 09:23 AMShit, I'd pay $20. Of course, it IS canadian money... Happy Birthday, Frank!! I hope many cute girls wish you to "talk dirty about family values" with them today! :) #9 - Posted by: trevalyan on June 4, 2003 09:32 AMHappy Birthday Frank. $5.00 for lap dances? Umm, where's my Visa? Elizabeth Lord knows you need a shower. Monkey lover. #11 - Posted by: Chaos Overlord on June 4, 2003 09:34 AMHappy birthday old man. Don't break your hip on the way to the bar. Frank, since you make me laugh and answer my stupid questions, Happy Birthday! #13 - Posted by: Jason H on June 4, 2003 10:07 AMHappy Birthday, Frank! Houdini had nothing on you... your ability to type while wrapped in a straitjacket is nothing short of amazing! #15 - Posted by: tictoc on June 4, 2003 10:24 AMAll Hail Frank! #16 - Posted by: SparcVark on June 4, 2003 10:28 AMAll Hail... erm, You! Happy and Felicitatious Birthday Wishes and yea, thee art truly groovy and fluffalicious on this, your natal day, and on every day from your birth to your tragic demise a couple of hundred years from now. #17 - Posted by: inkgrrl on June 4, 2003 10:34 AMHappy birthday Frank! May your day be ammo-filled and hippie-free...though you may have to use some of the former to accomplish the latter. #18 - Posted by: Mike the Grate on June 4, 2003 10:36 AMHappy Birthday Frank! #19 - Posted by: Daniel on June 4, 2003 11:05 AMGreetings and Fellatiations! Oh, and enjoy being one year closer to death... #20 - Posted by: Bane on June 4, 2003 11:30 AMBring out the Imperial Praise Hose™! HAPPY B-DAY, FRANK!!! #22 - Posted by: Emperor Misha I on June 4, 2003 11:32 AMhappy birthday your life still isn't over happy birthday you did not acomplish much........ KEEP PREACHING THE WORD MY MAN Happy birthday, kid. #24 - Posted by: Peter on June 4, 2003 12:01 PMMay your birthday be as joyous as your mere presence in our sad lives is for us. Or something like that.... Happy Birthday!! #25 - Posted by: Ith on June 4, 2003 12:10 PMYou suck but happy B-day anyways :) #26 - Posted by: Mick on June 4, 2003 12:20 PMHappy Birthday from someone you've never heard of who, nonetheless, enjoys your writing a great deal. #27 - Posted by: Tars on June 4, 2003 12:23 PMHappy Birthday. One more year and your Auto Insurance goes down... They do let you drive to the shrink right??? Larry #28 - Posted by: lplimac on June 4, 2003 12:37 PMI also hear my metablolism will give out on my 25th and there will finally be consequences for me eating nothing but fatty foods. Thanks for the showering of praise, everyone; you really shouldn't have. Now more! More! #29 - Posted by: Frank J. on June 4, 2003 12:40 PMI bought you Planet of the Apes on DVD. Trying to air-mail it to you via flying monkeys. The evil killer monkey in your closet will wake you when it arrives. Happy Birthday! #31 - Posted by: Poosh on June 4, 2003 12:55 PMHappy Birthday Frank! In honor of this momentous occasion, I insist on giving you exactly what you got me on my birthday! Aren't you excited? GO! Stand by the mailbox and wait for it! #32 - Posted by: serenity on June 4, 2003 01:06 PMHappy B-day, Frank! I must say, I was very dissapointed opening up the paper today and not seeing you in the celebrity brithday section. What say we do something about that for next year, huh? #33 - Posted by: Jose on June 4, 2003 01:26 PMHappy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, you hate all the monkeys, but you look one too! Happy birthday! Let the showering begin: you're a formidable man.... #35 - Posted by: Nicole on June 4, 2003 02:10 PMHey, you share a birthday with my little brother. Same year too! #36 - Posted by: Yobbo on June 4, 2003 02:16 PMOne step closer to the grave. Congrats. Happy Birthday! #37 - Posted by: Jason on June 4, 2003 02:41 PMHappy Birthday, hope the coming year brings conquests of monkey kingdoms and hot women with loose morals and tight, um well you know. #38 - Posted by: Chris Van Dis on June 4, 2003 03:03 PMHappy Birthday Frank! You are SO AWESOME. You are DA MAN. Why, if I was half the man you were I'd be... only 12 years old. I did some short interviews, and here are a few handy quotes that people had to say about Frank J: "Frank and I have a lot in common. I was a lot like him back in my youth, pistols and everything." - Pope John Paul II "Frank's a good guy. Tell him I said thanks for the Doritos and bean dip, and I'll be working on that Nuke the Moon thing." -President George W. Bush "Frank J? What a stud!" -Cameron Diaz "Logical. Flawlessly logical." -Spock "I am very concerned about Frank J. All the junk he says really pisses me off. Still, I bet he gets all the chicks. Please don't tell him I said that." -Senator Tom Daschle "People like Frank J. really make me regret my decision to be gay." -Ellen Degeneris "Frank J. A guy like that just makes me proud to be an American." -Bill O'Reilly "Nuke the Moon. Yeah, that could work..." -Prime Minister Tony Blair "Please tell Frank that we will pay him a lump sum of 7.8 million dollars if he will agree to pose nude in our magazine." -Editor in Chief, Playgirl "I pity the fool that messes with Frank J. - MY MAN!!!" -Mr. T "Let me answer your question this way. I. did not. have. sexual relations... wait a minute, what were we talking about?" -Ex President Bill Clinton Long Live Buck the Marine! Long Live the Defender of Catholic Virtues, the Wonder of Electrical Engineering, the Pinnacle of Political Commentary, the Genius of Conservative Tradition, the Incredible Martial Arts Master, the Gun-Toting Ass-Kicking Ladies' Man! Call your mom. After all, she did all the work. #40 - Posted by: Dax Montana on June 4, 2003 03:10 PMHappiest of Birth Aniversaries is my wish for you, O Chosen One. Remember that this time is but a preparation, and worldwide celebration is to come. Good Lord!! I can't possibly top Clint the Cool Guy's Frank-bday-mini-rant. So just have a happy birthday dude. 'sall I got.... #42 - Posted by: Mike the Marine on June 4, 2003 03:22 PM24 years young, eh? Well, happy birthday to you... I wish you many more! #43 - Posted by: Jim S on June 4, 2003 03:28 PMhappy birthday frank! u get me everytime. u r the second most funny republican i know, probably even the first (it's a tight one between u and wierd al yankovich). Happy Birthday and best wishes for the next two score and four. Wow. Just imagine, next year you'll beable to rent a car! Congrats #46 - Posted by: Eric on June 4, 2003 03:39 PMDear Frank, Happy birthday, ya little turd! Normally I love you but today I hate you because you make me feel old, and that's uncool. But alas, this is not about me (huh?) so I am here to say Happy Birthday and I hope you have a lovely celebration of some sort. :) #47 - Posted by: Rachel on June 4, 2003 03:42 PMHappy Birthday, Frank. Congratulations and may you have many more years of birthdays. And Yay for Frank's Mom, who did that whole pregnancy/labor messy thing. But I betcha she knew it was worth it when she saw your red wrinkly little self. #48 - Posted by: S. Wade on June 4, 2003 03:46 PMFrank, Ahahah well I can't top anything that anyone's already said...except that Frank, you're old. Happy Birthday! Have a wonderful celebration (if you can remember it afterwards)! -Jeff Happy Birthday Frank! #51 - Posted by: Mikey on June 4, 2003 04:18 PMThanks Frank! Happy Birthday and many more. cheers, Dick #52 - Posted by: Dick on June 4, 2003 04:37 PMHappy Birthday #54 - Posted by: Robert on June 4, 2003 04:38 PMwell harpy birfday young feller. you lighten my days you do. if you were my kid, i MIGHT have to kick yer butt. but, yer safe cause yer not. #55 - Posted by: pbird on June 4, 2003 04:39 PMFirst of all, happy birthday. Second of all, holy shit - we were born on the same day, except for me it's one score and three years. #56 - Posted by: Sam on June 4, 2003 05:44 PMYou are old and will die soon. Frank, Happy Birthday. I guess I have you to thank (or blame) for the constant expressions of "Rarrrrrr!" in my day. You're a very talented writer. Keep it up. #58 - Posted by: Brian on June 4, 2003 06:14 PMHappy Birthday, young'un. OK, you are only a year and a half younger than me, but probably ten times as funny. Don't do anything crazy! Well, not too crazy anyhow. #59 - Posted by: Mollbot on June 4, 2003 06:15 PMThanks for all the nice words, everyone. Wow, Clint, did Mr. T really say that about me? Anyway, that's not a cue to stop. More praise! More! #60 - Posted by: Frank J. on June 4, 2003 06:22 PMHappy Birthday Frank! #61 - Posted by: John on June 4, 2003 06:26 PMHappy Birthday Frank! You are so smart, and funny, and talented, and tall, and handsome (I have no proof of the last two but that is my story and I am sticking to it). One question... did you have to give me another complex about you? As it is you are a far superior blogger beloved by all and I am an unknown blogger ignored by most. Now - tommorrow is my birthday and I will not get nearly the blogging love. I am so very jealous! Ahhh aging! Beats the alternative! Here's a song in honor of your Birthday Happy birthday, Frank. You are one hell of a clever guy. All the best. #65 - Posted by: the talking dog on June 4, 2003 06:55 PMGo spank a monkey to celebrate. Only 24? Go travel, there's more to life worth seeing. #66 - Posted by: Jake D on June 4, 2003 07:17 PM...twenty-two! twenty-three! (drawing fist back hard long for this one) TWENTY-FOUR!!! Happy birthday! Happy birthday Frank! May all your unbirthdays be as special! #69 - Posted by: Ninjababe on June 4, 2003 09:40 PMHappy birthday. Happy Birthday, Frank J. May your years bring you wisdom, Happy Birthday Frank! I got you the greatest present, but mistakenly sent it to the latest Undisclosed Location. Sorry... #72 - Posted by: Shalegrey on June 4, 2003 11:07 PMHappy birthday, boyo, and thanks for the many laughs you've given us! #73 - Posted by: Terry on June 4, 2003 11:53 PMHappy Birthday Frank! Well, actually your birthday's over, since it's 10 after midnight there as I post this. I hope it WAS a happy one. I'm sending you Condi for your present - enjoy! But beware, she's pissed about losing some mug or something... #74 - Posted by: Brian on June 5, 2003 12:13 AMClint the Cool Guy has said it all! I may be left-handed, but am not in the mood for dishing out left-handed compliments for your birthday like some of these readers, who ought to be issued a Certificate of Banishment by His Imperial Highness Misha I!! #75 - Posted by: Bloodthirsty Warmonger on June 5, 2003 12:44 AM...better late than never... Happy Birthday for yesterday Frank! #76 - Posted by: Frank P on June 5, 2003 01:40 AMPS I tried to read your Project Insano thing, but MAN was that LONG... Liked the first several lines though. Happy Birthday, amigo. It's people like you that me me proud to be people like me. =) #78 - Posted by: Bill Whittle on June 5, 2003 05:27 AMBelated Happy Birthday. All praise the mighty Frank J., who blesses us with his wisdom and understanding. Praise the smiter of hippies, scurge of commies, fighter on ninjas, and terror of monkeys. All praise the great poet, whose epic tales bring meaning to our meaningless lives. Happy Birthday, Schu p.s. Screw Time Warner/Roadrunner cable. Made my praise a day late. #80 - Posted by: Schu on June 5, 2003 11:00 AMTHE ONE DAY I DIDNT HAVE ACCES TO A COMPUTER I MISSED MY HERO"S BIRTHDAY>>>>>>>>>DAMNIT ME!... HAPPY BIRTHDAY A FEW DAYS AGO FRANK #81 - Posted by: Joey D on June 5, 2003 11:23 AMHey wow! We share birthdays! Same year and everything. Can I be special like you now? #82 - Posted by: Tom on June 5, 2003 06:15 PMAwww, Frank. 24...seems like it wasn't that long ago that I was 24. Wait...it wasn't. Have a good year. Do something memorable this year, okie? Git married or adopt a kangaroo er somethin. (This is kinda like getting the belated birthday card in the mail, isn't it?) #83 - Posted by: Carrie S. on June 5, 2003 07:31 PMDear Frank, Happy birtday u no good sound of a bitch #84 - Posted by: Annonymouse on September 13, 2003 12:51 AMNice site. You are doing a great service to the web. #85 - Posted by: Hotels on October 20, 2004 03:11 PMwebcam girls | teen webcam girls | adult web cams | teen webcam sex | free sex cams | nude live sex chat | free sex chat #87 - Posted by: Gina on January 18, 2005 06:19 PMPost a comment
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