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June 10, 2003
Know Thy Enemy: Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton has a book out! I know all of you must be racing to not read it, but I'll save you the trouble and not read it for you. Here's what I didn't find out from the book: * Exactly how many people she estimated her universal health plan would kill. * That Chelsea Clinton was played by a child actor. * Whether she shot Vince Foster execution style or gangsta style. * What are the exact details of her pact with Satan. * How entrenched into our government is her lesbian conspiracy. * Whether her banshee-like scream can cause people's heads to explode just like if she were a Scanner. * Whether regular bullets can kill her or do you need to use silver ones. * That every time she lies, her thighs grow larger. * How many genetic scientists did she kidnap to make flying monkeys for her. * For what purpose does she like to drink the blood of small children. * Who would win in a fight between her and Aquaman. * That the only thing that actually surprised her when she heard about the Monica Lewinksy affair is that her husband had relations with a "dirty Jew". * She's not a natural blond. 35 Responses To "Know Thy Enemy: Hillary Clinton"
Why does everyone always pick fights with Aquaman? What did he do to you? Why not Wonder Woman and Hillary? I'd pay to see that. Hell, I'd pay to see Wonder Woman fight any other chick... mmmmm mud wrestling... #1 - Posted by: Neo on June 10, 2003 08:37 AMAuqaman would win that fight, hands and fins down. Lesbian mobsters can not fight. Ihave to learn to spell thats was Aquaman... #3 - Posted by: Chris on June 10, 2003 08:41 AMThe only think that surprised me on the Walters interview show was that Hillary was unable to use her supernatural, evil powers to destroy those HIDEOUS, GEEKY photos from her college days that Barbara kept showing! But of course, I believe Ms. Walters probably has a caldron or two hidden in her basement as well. #4 - Posted by: Frank L. on June 10, 2003 08:41 AMThank you for not reading her book for us, Frank....the sacrifices you make on behalf of your loyal readers are inestimable! #5 - Posted by: Susie on June 10, 2003 09:11 AMthat wench is a beeeotch from hell #6 - Posted by: Joey D on June 10, 2003 09:28 AMThe fact she is a pinchbeck blond is enough to not read her. False blond are poisonous snakes, they only think charming, bitting, killing. Anyway, snakes are good to eat. Snakes soup is hot and the meat is a very gustative taste. Let her grow up. When big enough, will eat her with rice and tomato ketchup. #7 - Posted by: Amphitryon on June 10, 2003 09:37 AMHopefully when she is in the Midwest promoting her book, a tornado will drop a house on her. Sadly, I don’t know what all those flying monkeys will do without her #8 - Posted by: Geoff on June 10, 2003 09:54 AMDefinitely silver. Regular bullets would have no effect. #9 - Posted by: aelfheld on June 10, 2003 10:30 AMNo, regular bullets would just make her angry. #10 - Posted by: NuclearDionysus on June 10, 2003 10:36 AMWhat? No mention of her conjoined twin under her shirt from ON THE FRITZ? Thought that was a classic piece of imaginary journalism from Fritz! And no way she passes the minimum chromasone test for a woman - no need to see her mud wrestle anyone - she would definitely be sporting the sausage in the bikini bottom. #11 - Posted by: capt. friendly on June 10, 2003 11:07 AMDo you plan to kill the beast before you eat it or do you plan to fill up the bikini with your own sortage ? I wonder, because of the rice cooking, whether to lay the bikini on it. #12 - Posted by: Amphitryon on June 10, 2003 11:30 AMWhether to lay the bikini on it or whether to sauce with tomato ketchup. Still be freaky ! #13 - Posted by: Amphitryon on June 10, 2003 11:36 AMlet The Clinton's talk, the more they say the more of a hole they dig themselves into #14 - Posted by: Frank on June 10, 2003 02:27 PMDid you see the film Contact. It is a fiction about a scientific adventure where Bill Clinton plays the Unconcern Emperor who does not rule on anything and does show himself as the politics really are... people who are only concerned with the power they can use from the other people and which ever the course they have to use to get this power. I love the film, its "scientific" adventure, but I hate the people who are playing into it. Fried Hillary is good fun enough for the polical anyway be of some use. And a tailed snake is very much funny than an untailed rat which does eat the croap. But I hate Hillary. #15 - Posted by: Amphitryon on June 10, 2003 02:56 PM"That every time she lies, her thighs grow larger." Yes! I love it. #16 - Posted by: Courtney on June 10, 2003 06:38 PMI suppose the lesbian conspiracy is invitation-only. Damn those Clintons! I am deeply disappointed that you did not discuss a Hillary vs. Rummy cage match. #17 - Posted by: mythago on June 10, 2003 07:41 PMWhen I was with the College Republican club at CMU, there occasionally was this crazy guy we would sometimes see who would hand us literature about a "lesbian conspiracy" headed by Hillary. I just always found that a funny idea. #18 - Posted by: Frank J. on June 10, 2003 09:50 PM"lesbian conspiracy"? Is there, err, videotaped evidence of this? ;) Her Royalness the PIAPS, the Pig In A Pantsuit, rightful ruler of Known Space, laughs at your silver bullets. She will destroy them with Her Laser-Blast Eyes(tm) and crush them with her Kung-fu Grip(tm). #20 - Posted by: MonkeyPants on June 10, 2003 11:02 PMQuite frankly Frank, you need to stop comparing people to Aquaman. My personal opinion is that Captain Planet is the worst super hero. He is a role model to the left. He's an enviromentalist for one thing. He uses all the forces of nature, has a following of racially diverse children including a gay one. He's against capitalism and fights some really liberal stupid enemys. Luckily, i never really watched the show. #21 - Posted by: Mikey on June 11, 2003 12:15 AMI've just finished reading a book entitled, "The Fury and the Terror." In a nutshell, the book is about an adept psychic, known as the Avatar, going up against the fascist establishment (let's call them FEs). They (the FEs) have deposed the President and are making a power play that will secure their grip on America, destroying all potential rivals in the process. That is, were I not a male and incapable of expressing fright. It's a good read with a fitting ending. Frank J. - has anybody ever posted a book report on your blog before? #22 - Posted by: Rob on June 11, 2003 01:07 AMIn a recent poll, about 5 percent of the American public said they planned to read the book. 34% said they wouldn't read it, and a whopping 21% said they wouldn't read it even if paid too! BAM! The idea of Hillary for pres 08 simply aggravates the hell out of me. (Like Rob, I am incapable of displaying fear). Remember back in the dark grey overcast days of "It takes a village"? That whole concept made me puke. It was always "Oh, it takes a village to raise a child... it takes a village to do this..." Screw that... It takes a village to go raid and plunder another village, and I'm down with that whole idea... But to say that even though I don't have/want kids, that I somehow inherited a responsibility for someone elses... Sure. This is also the same lady who, in a wonderfully original 1984 esque way, decided that government agencies, doctors offices, and other places where the general public gathered should be inundated with playing video tapes of how to burp babies, change diapers, safe sex, and who knows what else. All I have to say is that if she's so damned concerned about the children of the village, she should have spent some time with hers first... And then realized that even in a "global village" there is still going to be an idiot, and that she's been overstating her position for way too long. Ski #23 - Posted by: Ski on June 11, 2003 01:22 AMThere's an interesting contradiction in the "it takes a village" approach, or any of the left/commie agendas, out there. They go on about equality of all people and the sharing of the wealth and resources, but their agenda or position above is always above all others and above reproach, so as to guide us packmules (I have never like the sheep example) towards enlightenment. Rob #24 - Posted by: Rob on June 11, 2003 01:29 AMTo those who say that they are incapable of showing fear, I say, ARE YOU NUTS! Didn't you read what Frank didn't read in Hillary's book? She's creating FLYING MONKEYS! Given how evil Hillary is, they're probably flying cyborg ninja monkeys. Our only hope is if they run into Buck and the Fox News Reporter. #25 - Posted by: Tom the Friendly Ghost on June 11, 2003 01:44 AMI believe, Plato advocated in The Republic, that all children should be turned over to the state to be raised. Also Hitler had his Hitler youth camps. When the State or a village is held responsible to raise children it can only lead to indoctrination of a particular though or Idea. One of motivations for individuals raising children is to raise them in you own image(ie a Comme fighting John Wayne figure) and teach them not to make the same mistake you did(M-80's are not the best way to kill a monkeys) By Saying a "village" should raise your children, you are claiming that all people are too stupid to teach them. Typical liberal CRAP! #26 - Posted by: Frank P on June 11, 2003 02:00 AMGood point, Tom the Friendly Ghost. I meant, more specifically, the expression of fright by a male in society (except the French) is not generally acceptable. Rob #27 - Posted by: on June 11, 2003 05:54 AMGood point, Tom the Friendly Ghost. I meant, more specifically, the expression of fright by a male in society (except the French) is not generally acceptable. Rob #28 - Posted by: on June 11, 2003 05:54 AMEvery time she lies, God kills a kitten. #29 - Posted by: Ernie G on June 11, 2003 11:44 AM...and, having been whelped and raised by Hillary http://www.baen.com/chapters/W200312/0743471709.htm?blurb I am a hardline Communist who supports comrade Hillary in her quest to Leninize America. You fucking capitalist swines, Mwhahahaha! You just wait until Hillary comes to power as the ultimate Communist leader of America and our red militia knocks down all your Republican doors. We will build death camps for the evil Republicans and execute all who oppose the all mighty power of the RED ORDER!!! We will build grandios statues of the president for life (Hillary Clinton) and we will establish a strong alliance with Cuba for the purpose of spreading Communism throughout Latin America. The great Hillary will set you all strait you capitalist pigs! #32 - Posted by: Red Terrorist on December 18, 2003 10:20 PMHillary Diane "Her Thighness" Clinton is a corrupt,power hungry,Marxist bull dyke.But she means well #33 - Posted by: Howard on August 8, 2004 04:33 AM8995 How can this all be right? Check out my site http://www.pai-gow-keno.com #34 - Posted by: keno on October 5, 2004 12:03 PMPost a comment
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