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June 18, 2003
Frank Answers: Hating Monkeys, Hippy Music, and the Heartbreak of Psoriasis
CPT Brook A. Nelson asks: Many people would probably think it started when I was shot by a monkey, but I've had suspicion of simians well before then. You see, monkeys have always hated us and were jealous of us since we became the ruling primate. They plot and wait, looking for the best opportunity to bring on our downfall. As a kid, I would sometimes see a monkey peering in through my bedroom window, and then swing off into the forest. My mom assured me there were no wild monkeys in New Jersey, but I knew better. They are everywhere, watching us, waiting, finding our weaknesses... In the least, a monkey will bite you. In the worst, it will destroy all of society. The smart man would be prepared.
Ah, the siren song of hippy music. It gives you the warm feeling of a life without responsibilities or logical reasoning, but it must be resisted. It's good you still hate hippies, but I would recommend not listening to anymore hippy music for the good of your soul. Suddenly one day, you may think, "Hey, I can skip taking a shower for a day or two," or say about some foreign conflict, "Maybe we can talk it over instead of bombing." It will start slowly, but one day you will be too forgone for any intervention, and even a Nuke the Moon t-shirt will not be able to save you.
Well, it's that when someone get psoriasis, it's very heartbreaking. I knew this guy, and he was like, "My heart is broken." And I asked, "Does this have to do with a girl?" "No, psoriasis." "Oh, I'm sorry," I said with faux sympathy (I don't actually like other people or care about their problems), "Is there anything they can do?" "Doctor says he'll have to cut me open and fix my heart with duct tape and twine." The guy then rose to his feet and shook his fist in the air. "Psoriasis!" I hope that clears things up. * * * * Please keep the questions coming, e-mailing me with the subject "Frank Answers" and include your name and town after the question and blog URL if you have one. Since I like the whole name and town dynamic, if you don't give me a place you're from, I'll randomly select one. 14 Responses To "Frank Answers: Hating Monkeys, Hippy Music, and the Heartbreak of Psoriasis"
It is said that in the Caraïbs, there are a kind of little fishes which do eat the psoriasis. Maybe you should recommand to Wind Rider going there and be curated from it. It is quite efficient. #1 - Posted by: Amphitryon on June 18, 2003 02:15 PM"You see, monkeys have always hated us and were jealous of us since we became the ruling primate. They plot and wait, looking for the best opportunity to bring on our downfall." Isn't this kind of like the Franco-German/EU and their current activities? Frank, you say you were shot by a monkey, but the link you site says it was a chimp! What gives? I constantly have to correct my 4 year-old when he refers to the gibbons at the local zoo as "monkeys" instead of gibbons or apes. So, when I read him IMAO tonight for his bedtime story, as I do every night, I don't need him to get even more confused. I can hide this from him for a little while, as he normally doesn't use hyperlinks when browsing, but it's only a matter of time before he discovers this error. Can you please straighten this out soon. Thanks #3 - Posted by: JFH on June 18, 2003 03:10 PMFrankly, Frank, does the guy suffers having psoriasis or not having psoriasis, because I gave the medicine to not have it, but I have neglected the medicine to have it. So it is simple, the response is for Wind Rider, in stead of going to the Caraïbs, just go to the swimming pool, usually, there are some cultures of psoriasis which are incurable ! #5 - Posted by: Amphitryon on June 18, 2003 04:38 PMEvil Monkies! http://www.chrisbishop.com/her/archives/her60.html #6 - Posted by: Tom on June 18, 2003 05:15 PMThanks for taking my wife's side of the argument, Frank! She thinks I'm taking the taxonomic instruction of my young son too far (actually, she didn't use the term "taxonomic", but ironically, did use a variety of terms to describe me that are all based on the taxonomy of a donkey). To save face, I guess I'll tell me that in "Mr. J's world", it really doesn't matter whether the simians are apes or monkeys 'cus in the future, they'll no longer be "relevant". (You learn to use euphemisms with kids) #7 - Posted by: JFH on June 18, 2003 06:01 PMSmegma broke my heart. But later I found athletes foot and life was again good. //CronJob #8 - Posted by: CronJob on June 18, 2003 06:04 PMthat should be "I guess I'll tell him" obviously #9 - Posted by: JFH on June 18, 2003 06:04 PMThe slogan "the heartbreak of psoriasis" was associated with a coal-tar based shampoo called Tegrin, but it seems like everyone has taken it up. We now know the problem is more than skin-deep, and that it is actually a disease of the immune system. #10 - Posted by: Bloodthirsty Warmonger on June 18, 2003 10:46 PMI don't know if it's 'hippy music' or not, but I ain't givin' up my Led Zeppelin. #11 - Posted by: aelfheld on June 19, 2003 11:24 AM*sniff* I don't hate you Frank...neither does any of the other SithMonkeys...we'd gleefully apply a lightsaber to the ass of those who wish to do you harm... #12 - Posted by: Darth Monkeybone on June 20, 2003 05:50 AMumm.. lets just say i don't like monkeys but chimps and apes are kinda ok. Also hippys rock and if anyone knows how they affected music in the 60's id gladly hear there opinion as im doin a history assignment on them. And i don't get that Psirosis shit so i won't comment on it. Yea Rock On suicidal man. Cherries obviously grow on mangoe trees and inevitably the worlds demise lies with overgrown catfish lurking beneath the baltic ocean with roses stuck in there teeth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #13 - Posted by: jack on August 26, 2003 05:03 AMhehe oops this is my email address jacktherealman@hotmail.com hehe .. my bad and rock on chimpanzies #14 - Posted by: jack on August 26, 2003 05:04 AMPost a comment
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