George S. from the Galactic Headquarters, Milky Way Division writes:
Everyone knows you hate monkeys. What's your position on Sea-Monkeys?

Monkeys are bad enough as it is on land, but for them to also to propagate their evil into the sea would be too much. What would be next? Flying monkeys ruling the air, biting and scratching all our airplanes?

Luckily, sea monkeys are actually just boring little brine shrimp, easily killed by adding a drop of bleach to their aquarium. Try it yourself; it’s fun!

Chris from Satellite Beach, Florida write:
I live in a neighboring city of yours called Satellite Beach. Do you think you and me could go hang out sometime? I could go for some hippy-hunting.

Well, I don't just take anyone on hippy-hunting, Chris. I need to know I can trust the other person. How can I be sure that when a bull hippy comes charging at us, you're not going to blink? You miss your shot, and then we could both end up smelling like patchouli oil.

Jay Solo from Quincy, Massachusetts asks:
Why is there air?

Air is needed as a medium so that things can fly. Before air, paper airplanes fell straight to the floor, and birds were forced to run around on the ground, pecking at people's feet. Finally, though, the Wright brothers came up with an invention called the airplane, named after Sir Isaac Airplane who first theorized that man could fly. They realized, though, that they needed some gaseous medium for the contraption to work in. Thus they argued to the government to begin filling the world with gas by genetically modify plants to produce oxygen, nitrogen, and some other elements that together we know as air (named after the airplane).

The only problem was that this air ended up being quite addictive, and a person will die from withdrawal symptoms when being deprived of air for a only a minute or so. It is possible to slowly wean yourself off the addiction, but it takes eighty years or so.

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Please keep the questions coming, e-mailing me with the subject "Frank Answers" and include your name and town after the question and blog URL if you have one. Since I like the whole name and town dynamic, if you don't give me a place you're from, I'll randomly select one.

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Frank Answers
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