Kitten: "There is no spoon..."

"Hey PETA, c'mere. I got something funny to show you."

Frank J. discovers the evil monkey's plan to disguise themselves as kittens in order to take over the world. (They got the idea from the Brain).

"No more curtains for you!"

"You like to scratch hands, eh, kitten!? Who's so tough, now!?"

"Ooooo, your pee-pee must be *this* big for you to need to threaten a kitten..."

Kitty:" Tiger style. Bullets do not frighten me with my cat reflexes you wossie ! Let's do it mano a mano and I'll show you the advantages of claws over fast moving lead anyday,punk!! "
( ever had one of these little cuties decide to scale up your jeans like it's Mount Everest?
Nuff said.

In mere moments, almost too fast for the human eye to see, the kitten had stripped the gun from the hands of his antagonizer and destroyed him with it. His reflexes were like..... well..... ummm..... a cat.

"In a desperate attempt to terrify its armed foe, the kitten tried a sooper sekrit ninja stance. Unfortunately, it came off looking merely... french"

"All out of puppies, but Glenn Reynolds is still thirsty."

"Where the hell is my parakeet you bastard?"

"Puke on my pillow one more time and I'll kill you."

"Buy my T-Shirt or I'll shoot this kitten."

"Let's see 'em put THIS on American's Funniest Animals."

Orion

IT WASN'T ME!! It was the MONKEY!!!

or

...9mm?..dangit!...I don't want to die by metric ammo! OH THE SHAME!!

There's a REASON we have a LITTERBOX you little heathen!

Another monkey sympathizer.

Shoot the cat. They're worse than dung throwing monkeys.

Two to the chest and one to the head.

The only good cat is a dead cat.

About to become a good cat.

Reading 101 things to do with a dead cat.

" You Shall Not Pass! "

Where is the secret rebel base!

OR

Are you now, or have you ever been, a Communist?

OR

YOU registered ME as a democrat!?

Poop in my shoes will you!?

"MUSLIM? No, I'm a MOUSER!"

"I don't know where Cheyney is! I swear!"

"I'll never talk, you French faggot."

Orion

"You better not be pointing that gun at me. Are you pointing that gun at me? You don't want to point that gun at me. All right, it's pistol-whippin' time for you, human!"

"Take my last beer, will you!"

"I didn't know that there was a French breed of cats!"

"The jig is up Saddam! I see right through that disguise!"

"Stress relief."

"Please, Miss Reno! I don't wanna go back to Cuba!!"

I drop my entry, Tuning spork, that's hilarious!! I cannot compete.

I'm beginning to wonder if these current Airport security procedures have gone too far...

When Chomps grew an opposable thumb...he REALLY went on a rampage.

Tis what happens to anyone who doesn't buy my t-shirt.

Q: What do Frenchmen and kittens have in common (other than being pussies)? A: They would both surrender to a water-pistol that looks like a beretta.

"Just a friendly little cat..."

For all those who've ever been to a raunchy piano bar.

"I am NOT Kayser Soze."

Kitten: You expect me to talk
Frank: No Mr. Fluffy, I expect you to die

or
I swear, I did not see you with those sheep

Cap the cat.

"After several Lab experiments, Frank J. determines that 'nuke the moon' is a superior plan for world peace than 'Shoot the kitty'."

"Don't EVER use my credit card to buy scratching posts of ebay again!"
or
"easy cat population control"
or
"I don't wanna be neutered! oh...a handgun...I'll come quietly"
or
"and so ends our show on ze behavior of ze french housekitty"
or
"ah, ze brave tale of ze french man vs. ze horrible tiger!"
or
"According to the Iraqi Information Minister, the Iraqi troops have gotten rid of the horrible, massive lion that has been rampaging the countryside"
or
"I know you're hiding monkeys in this house! now tell me where they are!"

"I thought it was catnip!"

Frank J, doing his part to find WMD in Iraq.

it really is a funny picture, but( I'm a woosie, let the whole world know!) I love kitties. Their logic, at times, surpases that of us monkey derivitives ( but I guess you'd have to own a cat to really grasp that last part..)

Frank: "I said... STOP... TALKING... TO... ME!"
Kitten: (silence)
Frank: "Hey! The voices! They stopped!"
Kitten: "Come on Franky. Give us a hug".
All: (screaming and weapons fire)

Kitty: "Look, I really am Dick Chaney, the Vice President. Just put the gun down and I'll prove it."

Join Dick Van Dyke and his magical orange tabby for a trip inside the LA County Animal Shelter. The clock is counting down and there's no more room. Find out who will live and who will die in MGM's "Kitty Kitty Bang Bang."

"Sorry, Whiskers.. the pit bull said he won't let go of my scrotum til this is done."

Frank's final solution to the Tom and Jerry situation.

1. "Everytime you masturbate, God kills a kitten..."

2. "Better tabby then dead!"

3. "When the game of life makes you feel like quitin'
It helps alot... if you kill a kitten.
Mark my words cause from where Im sitin'
You cant go wrong... if you kill a kitten.
Quote the Bible, for it is writen...
If ye loveth Jesus, ye must kill a kitten." - Stephen Lynch, song writer/comedian

"ATF agents arrested a suspected catnip smuggler in south Florida today..."

"No, we're *not* going to a gay bar."

With his tiny feet hoisted in the air, clearly we can see there's paws for concern.

Anna,
Bad puns aren't going to win it for you everytime.

"The only good cat..."

or

"Would you look at that...a French kitten."

To steal a line from The Hulk: "You are making me angry. You really don't want to make me angry."

Cats! Natures Original Pop Up Targets!

"But...but...I wuv you THIS much"

Bob Barker gets serious about the pet population.

No Mr.Puddy..... I expect you to DIE!!

In the next "Frank Answers," Frank J. will tell us if the whole always landing on their feet bit works for DEAD cats, as well.

In breaking news, police have apprehended the cat burglar responsible for the recent rash of Northside heists.

"Your money or your lives!"

Is there a deadline to this competition??

"RARRR!!!"
Ok I got nothing. Does that picture remind anyone else of a scene out of Boondock Saints involving a cat and a Beretta 92?

Ninja,
That was a shotgun, I think.

Spork,
I'll end it when I feel like ending it.

Every time you lie, Frank J kills a kitten.

"The Mirror, Mirror version of Morris the Cat learned early on not to be so finicky"

Never point your gun at any thing unless you intend to shoot that thing.

No, really, I can catch it!

If you buy a Nuke the Moon T-shirt I WON'T kill this kitten!

"HULK SMASH!"

Who's in the cradle now, bitch!?!

"I hate to use a gun on a kitten, but the blender is ful of puppies"

I know what you're thinking...did i fire 5 shots or 6? The question is...do you feel lucky? Well do ya...Kitty?!?

"Save your breath, puny human! You'll need it for your next date! And stop waving that Euro-trash piece of crap in my face!!!"

*click* cat: saftey is on!

I got it I got it!!!

I swear, I thought it was catnip, CATNIP!

ok just a liitle closer and ill have u where i want u

"TOUCHDOWN"

"The half-naked cheerleader comes with me or the kitten gets it"

"The half-naked cheerleader comes with me or the kitten gets it"

you know...tnt would really work much better then a gayass beretta.. * goes to get TNT and kitty runs away*

....dammit where did the little fuzzy bastard go?

Snitch!?!? "I neva f*cked anybody over in my life, who didn't have it comin' to 'im, you got that?!?! All I have in this world is my balls, and my word, and I don't break 'em for no one, jou understand?" (Scarface) F*ck you Monkey!!

You're a funny cat!

Curtains: $172
Re-upholster sofa: $310
Repair screened porch...TWICE: $138.47

A Beretta with a 10-clip and one in the pipe (for good measure) to make SURE that little fuzzy bastard is good and dead?

PRICELESS.

dad: i sed dance bitch dance
son:wot the hell r u doin with the kitten dad?

Hehehe.

Kitten: I swear! The mouse was this friggin big!

Kitten: I swear I'm not a terrorist!! *cry*

"Hold my beer and watch this!"

Buy www.i-directv.net this it is a wonderful addition to anyones home entertainment system.

Go on pull the trigger bitch! I'll be back!

Headline reads, "Cat Burgler Caught In the Act"

"Responding to a silent alarm, police today
captured a cat burgler on the prowl. The suspect
surrendered at gunpoint after trying to make
a break for the open window. Though the cat
confessed to jimmying the window open, police
are baffled as to how the cat managed to slip in
through such a narrow opening.

"Police say now that they have a suspect in
custody, they can do DNA testing on puked-up
hairballs found at the scene of other robberies
in the neighborhood. Further details as they
become available."

>After years of Fluffy's continuous singing...Eye twitches.