Bill McCabe from Ridgewood, NJ writes:
Which are deadlier: American Ninjas or Japanese Ninjas? You see, the film "American Ninja" has the American beating the Japanese Ninja, while "Revenge of the Ninja" has the Japanese guy winning. I'm rather confused as to who is superior.

That's a rather easy question to answer: Americans are superior at everything. While American ninja might not be as skilled as classically trained Chinese or Japanese ninjas, we still win anyways because America always wins. That's because God likes us and dislikes other countries. We know that since we are the only country to get tornados; that's God's sign to us that we are all really cool... though some people interpret it differently.

Aaron from Canada writes:
Does Soy Sauce really kill bacteria? KIKKOMAN told me it did, but I'm not sure, eh.

Obviously a flash animation that well produced has to be right, so, yes, soy sauce does kill bacteria.

Is there anything soy can't do? No, there is nothing it can't do, which makes it a threat to us. Yes, it makes lots of healthy foods now, but soy could have more sinister plans in the future. Instead of a world taken over by apes, we could end up ruled by soy where they use meat from humans to make a non-vegetarian replacement to soy burgers.

I'm not saying destroy all soy; I'm just saying we should keep an eye on it.

Rustmeister from Smartsville, USA writes:
I just bought myself a Nuke the Moon t-shirt for my birthday. My question is: Will this t-shirt slow the aging process?

That's a silly question; of course it will. It will also increase your vocabulary, give you limited x-ray vision, and let you go 48 hours without sleep with no ill effects.

Of course, there was no real reason for me to answer this question, because all knowledge would become known to you as soon as you put on the shirt.

BTW, those who have these wonderful shirts now, remember to get those pictures in for the Peace Gallery.

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Please keep the questions coming, e-mailing me with the subject "Frank Answers" and include your name and town after the question and blog URL if you have one. Since I like the whole name and town dynamic, if you don't give me a place you're from, I'll randomly select one.

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