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July 18, 2003
Super Lucky Happy Fun Permalink Contest Group A Answers (You Vote Now!)
Posted by Frank J. at 08:02 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (18)

I've upgraded by account just in time for the contest so that the poll won't have any pop-up ads. Anyway, let's get to the contestants.

Meet the Bloggers:

Adventures in Troubleshooting
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? Tom Bridge
* How long have you been blogging? In one form or another for just over two years. Began on LiveJournal (lj Username: cortana), continued on with Radio, now betatesting TypePad.
* Description of Site: Adventures in Troubleshooting is about my life, what I think is interesting, and what I think is funny. I write when it moves me, and not when it doesn't. I write about technology and Mac computers, as well.
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: Frank J is honestly one of the best humorists on the web. His In My World™ posts are frequently passed around our office and enjoyed by many of my coworkers. The fine line between the outrageous and the possible is equally danced around. As for my favorite post? Can I have two? If not, I'll just go with A Frank Guide to Homeland Security Alert Levels, since I live around DC, I get to deal with all sorts of dirty hippy protestors, and really dislike them. If I get a second favorite, it would be the introduction of Chomps.
* What's your favorite movie? The Usual Suspects
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? I'm gonna go with Sideshow Bob. Devious, hellbent on world domination, with a slight fetish for Gilbert and Sullivan.

ThisSide (named after the song by Nickel Creek)
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? LACAstronomer
* How long have you been blogging? Since Monday, February 10, 2003, at 1:05 AM
* Description of Site: My site is a basically a social conservative blog. It covers my views on issues like abortion, Affirmative Action, and the general downfall of morality. Also, whatever I happen to feel like talking about :)
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: Well, I have to say first of all the Frank J. is the funniest person on the internet. My favorite post would have to be, "In My World: Reading to Underprivileged Kids." Also any other In My World featuring Buck and Chomps.
* What's your favorite movie? The Lord of the Rings movies. This last one had better not disappoint me, cause if it does! (Homer Simpson like fist shake)
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Despite my above fist shake, I'd have to say Ned Flanders, cause I like his outlook on life. He sees that the morality of the world is rapidly declining, but he doesn't really let it get to him. I wish I could do that. Also, he's like America, cause he always does good things for everyone and no one is ever grateful.

Note-It Posts
* What is your preferred name as ablogger? Dana. What can I say; I have no imagination, and no fear.
* How long have you been blogging? Since June 29, 2003, but I've been writing an online journal (http://www.2frogs.net) since December 98.
* Description of Site: The (admittedly lame) description from my site is "Thoughts and commentary on whatever attracts my interest. Politics, current events, quilting, scrapbooking, photography, movies, music - it might be about anything." I'm going to change it, though, to something pithier when I... well... think of something pithy.
* Praise of Frank J. and IMAO: Ooh, already did! In the spirit of bloghood, check it out: http://noteitposts.blogspot.com (second entry for July 15th... my direct links don't work. *sob*)
* What's your favorite movie? When Harry Met Sally
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Marge. Sure, she seems shy and unassuming and matronly at first, but I say she's hiding something. I mean, think about it - have you ever heard the way she says, "Oh, HOMie!" when they're gettin all hot and bothered? And what's she hiding in that hair? Plenty of room for whips and chains. I think there's a biker chick lurking under that cool, naive exterior. That's me. ;)

* What is your preferred name as a blogger? hln
* How long have you been blogging? I've been blogging since early April of this year. I started a week after my husband (stlbrianj.blogspot.com) decided to give it a whirl because it seemed to be something he enjoyed, and I've always been a writer - I'm often posting interesting things on the message boards at
work; the blog has become a new hobby in the few short months I've been working at it.
* Description Site: I'm not very politically oriented in my posts. I prefer to discuss health, exercise, personal anecdotes (often involving health and exercise), and gross violations of what my moral code calls "personal responsibility." I also make fun of PETA at any opportunity. The site ranges
from irate rants to goofball whimsy.
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: IMAO (hence, Frank J.) cracks me up. I had "If you see in the sky a red planet with two polar caps, that's Mars, not SARS. DO NOT shoot it down." as my MSN IM name for a good week, and "Probably that kid, he's France" as my MSN IM name for a month (laziness, really). Instead of a favorite post, I have a favorite group of posts - the Fun Facts. I share those with coworkers.
* What is your favorite movie? Princess Bride. "We are men of action; lies do not become us."
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Definitely Lisa. Lisa's musical and is often the voice of reason. She also likes animals.

Proveritate (latin for for the truth)
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? Dave
* How long have you been blogging? A year and a week.
* Description of Site: A principled review of current events by an eighteen year old living in metro Detroit.
* Praise Frank J. and IMAO: Frank J runs one of the most humorous web sites in the world. I'm glad he is bringing the truth to the world stage with his lies about Glenn Reynolds. There are too many funny posts to pick from, so I'm going to throw those out and pick the post where Frank J. provides a link to my blog, it's awesome.
* What's your favorite movie? The Rock
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Krusty the Clown

Advanced Combo Tricks and Ramblings of SilverBlue did not respond in time.

Of the five, here are their responses to the questions in random order (so you don't know who wrote which). As I said, revealing who wrote which is cause for disqualification.

QUESTION: Describe a situation or crisis in which Aquaman would be a great superhero.

ANSWER 1: Seeing as Aquaman is a pretty enormous pansy, I think it would have to involve the French sinking Bikini Atoll into the Pacific, and Aquaman whipping their asses like so many rented mules. Since, well, even Aquaman could whup the French, and they'd just surrender anyway, I'm not even sure that qualifies Aquaman as a superhero, since it requires that he only fight the French. So I guess there isn't a situation where Aquaman is a superhero.

ANSWER 2: Geeez, Frank, I mean, don't make it too EASY for us or anything. (yes, that's sarcasm) Hmmm..... ok... here's my answer: Saddam Hussein has hidden his weapons of mass destruction in leaky oil barrels up and down the lengths of the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. Because of his amazing power to communicate with sea animals, Aquaman discovers the locations of these barrels and relays them to Allied Central Command. Not only has Aquaman managed to clear up the mystery surrounding these materials, he has single-webbed-handedly arranged the cleanup of the resultant water pollution. He does so employing the amazing filtering capabilities of a species of jellyfish known to no one else except (dun-dun-DUNNNNN) Aquaman!!!

ANSWER 3: Aquaman should be living in the Asian country of Bangladesh. If you read the factbook it says this about Bangladesh's natural hazards, "much of the country routinely flooded during the summer monsoon season." Aquaman would have his very own season as the monsoons and the Indian Ocean drown the country. Plus he'd save hundreds in a single day since Bangladesh has a tendency to pack 600 plus people on a ferry which then promptly capsizes. Bangladesh is the perfect place for Aquaman to show off his superhero skills.

ANSWER 4: Aquaman can best excel by using his powers to make
money (and, of course, spend money to stimulate the
economy, but we'll not cover that here). Here are some of the ways Aquaman could render service. He'll never starve! He'll never be bored in a job!
1) Head Trainer at Sea World
2) Dunk-Tank Demonstrator/Salesman
3) Navy Seal
4) Professor of Underwater Basket Weaving
5) Olympic Athlete, distance events (Money comes from later endorsements)
6) Water-based security guard for Sealand
7) Geological Consultant - photographing the Marianas Trench
8) Working for Greenpeace - thwarting longline swordfish operations
9) Titanic artifact recovery
10) Reporter for Siren (http://www.siren.sut.org.uk/main.htm)
And, to keep himself on the positive side of the ever-scrutinizing public eye, Aquaman's community service of note would be to summon all of the still-living starfish lying on the beach back into the ocean. If that's not enough, he could make public appearances to unbeach whales.

ANSWER 5: When you're fighting the French. Underwater.

Now everyone vote for your favorite answer to the question. The voting results will be hidden until after the poll is closed to add to the aura of mystery.

POLL CLOSED (results here)

Thanks to everyone for participating in Round 1 of this seven round event.

Rating: 2.0/5 (21 votes cast)

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