Time to meet Group B.

Meet the Bloggers

Wince and Nod
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? Wince And Nod, or Wince for short.
* How long have you been blogging? Since Saturday, June 14, 2003, at 3:42 PM
* Description of Site: Slightly right of center with some reflections on life. I hope my site will be a safe place for liberals and conservatives to discuss
their views, but first they have to actually visit.
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: IMAO is the funniest site on the web. Even funnier than the Engrish site. In My World is a stitch. Plus you can read my review.
* What's your favorite movie? A River Runs Through It
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Ned Flanders, because I wear glasses, I'm usually a nice guy and I usually don't cuss. (Nobody is as good as Ned Flanders.)

Tiger: Raggin' & Rantin'
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? Tiger [Duh!]
* How long have you been blogging? since 4/4/03
* Description of Site: A place where you can see my inane thoughts and some other stuff
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: Frank is not a liberal assclown or a puppy blender, but uses those terms quite freely. Buck the Marine should do something about liberal assclowns who blend puppies. Frank has threatened to do me harm if I didn't compete in this contest. My favorite post is this one, I guess.
* What's your favorite movie? Tank Girl, I mean cute girls, power mad utility companies and Kangaroos, what more could you expect from a movie?
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Although I have previously stated: It seems there is some part of me that has always wondered what it would be like to be Maggie Simpson's pacifier, that was meant in jest. I guess if I was to identify with one, it would have to be Lenny, because I am usually in the background and no one notices me.

The Stormin' Mormon
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? Nephi
* How long have you been blogging? Exactly 4 months
* Description of Site: My views of life, politics, and whatever I find interesting. More structure to come!
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: In My World: Whitehouse Hopes Democrats Don't Flee to Canada (wink wink). Karl Rove is awesome!
* What's your favorite movie? Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? The Comic Book Store Guy

The Wise Man Says
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? Dave
* How long have you been blogging? Umm... about 3 months.
* Description of site: It gives my conservative opinion on anything and everything I want to talk about.
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: You know how Jesus sits at the right hand of God? Frank J sits at the right hand of Jesus. How's that for praise? Oh, and praising IMAO - well, anything that Frank J writes is, by the above definition, at least semi-divine. Therefore, IMAO is semi-divine or better. My favorite post? Gotta be an IMW.... Blood is Also Symbolic of Blood. That one's pretty good. Especially the last line.
* What's your favorite movie? Geez, you're going to make me pick one? Um, okay... don't rush me... The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Obviously, France is the Ugly. [Ed. That's my favorite!]
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Either Groundskeeper Willie, or Professor Frink. Depends on if I identify with my Scots side, or my Geek side.

Experimenting with Mental Exhibitionism
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? Pink Zebra
* How long have you been blogging? Almost a year.
* Description of site: It's an experiment in progress.
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: Frank J. is funny in the same way that murderers are scary. I mean that in a good way.
*What's your favorite movie? This is Spinal Tap
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Ummm, I don't have a television so I don't watch the Simpsons, but this quiz says I'm most like some character named Professor Frink.

Serenity's Journal
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? Serenity
* How long have you been blogging? 3.5 months
* Description of site: It's gray and purple and has lots of words strung together and flung upon it.
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: Frank J is jolly jack splendid. Favorite post is the, "I hate Michael Moore" entry.
* What's your favorite movie? I don't have a favorite but will give examples of movies I really like: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Blazing Saddles, and Monty Python-Search for the Holy Grail.
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Bart

Oridnary Galoot did not get answers in on time.

Here are their repsonses to the question in random order (revealing who wrote which is means for disqualification):

QUESTION: Describe how bombing Paris will help Uganda's economy.

ANSWER 1: A loud cheer will erupt, "Paris is burning!" and millions of people will race to the streets all over the world to party. The next morning, gallons upon gallons of Uganda coffee and tons of Uganda sugar will be needed to revitalize everyone. This process will be repeated for years as there is no such thing as, "Celebrating too much after Paris falls." While everyone is happy and drunk, a contest will emerge to rename the, "Paris Club debt relief" and all proceeds will go to Uganda. This will be cause for another great celebration and the festivities will continue for another 100 years.

ANSWER 2: Since coffee is Uganda's main export, bombing Paris would cause a decrease in demand for the coffee it imports from India, repackages and sells to Vietnamese restaurants in the United States where it is brewed and mixed with sweetened, condensed milk to make Vietnamese coffee. The resulting destabilization of the global coffee market, the world's second-most widely traded commodity, would inevitably work to Uganda's economic favor as soon as Donald Rumsfield finds out that Vietnam (the world's second largest exporter of coffee) STILL hasn't been blown off the map yet. Uganda's only rival in dominating the world coffee market would then be, Brazil, currently the number one exporter of coffee and also a country which not only blatantly harbors monkeys but continues to discover new species of them within its own borders. Clearly, something will be done about Brazil before Uganda's economy completely implodes.

ANSWER 3: Drunk with ambition and crazed by syphilis, Idi Amin decided that the path to riches and world power would be for Uganda to surpass France as the greatest wine producer. By kidnapping the greatest French grape growers, Idi was able to make Ugandan vineyards the envy of Africa. Foreseeing his own downfall and eventual demise, Amin had long ago arranged a secret cloning project. Now his clone is poised to bring their plot to fruition by bombing Paris, making Entebbe the wine-making capital of the world.

ANSWER 4: Bombing Paris would ideally result in the elimination of the French Government. As such, French farms would no longer be subsidized, allowing Ugandan goods to be more competitive. France's clout in the EU would also be destroyed, paving the way for removal of importation bans on Genetically Modified Foods making genetic modification a profitable investment for Uganda. As Ugandan scientists exploit their new freedom they will develop superior strains of mutant celery capable of intimidating neighbors into paying tribute. Sadly, these mutant vegitables may not be able to conquer France itself, as the French Army may suddenly become competent with the removal of the government.

ANSWER 5: Bombing Paris will create thousands of jobs in the cleaning up of the residue and ashes (and blood and guts, and the slaughter of any remaining bad French people, which will be all of them because we will convince the good ones to immigrate to the US or to Britain before we bomb them). We will hire Ugandans to do this, thus pumping millions into their economy.

ANSWER 6: I suspect that if we flew over Paris and shoved a million Ugandans out of airplanes, the economy of Uganda would immediately improve. Paris would be a bloody mess.

There are the answers.

PLACE YOUR BETS NOW!

POLL CLOSED (results here)

Poll closes 24 hours (or so) after the time of this post.

And now, next round of questions! (you must have entered previously and be listed in the proper group to participate)

GROUP C QUESTIONS:

What is the name of your site?
What is your preferred name as a blogger?
How long have you been blogging?
Give a brief description of your site.
Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post.
What's your favorite movie?
Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?

SHORT ANSWER QUESTION: In 200 words or less, name your least favorite species of monkey and explain why you dislike that monkey.

Answers are due to me within 24 hours of this post. Godspeed.

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Rating: 3.0/5 (4 votes cast)

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