Yay! Frank Answers™ is back!

LC Victor from The First Circle of Hell asks:
What's a "Penumbra?" Is there ever a time when one is "Practical?"

Penumbra is what Bob Hope just died from. I guess it's practical if you hate Bob Hope (which only a dirty Commie would).

Tim E. from Xenia, OH asks:
A 12-gauge Remington shotgun or a .50 caliber Desert Eagle handgun -
which would be better for killing commies, hippies, and foreigners in
general?

Sure, the Desert Eagle is cool, but it's just not practical enough (certainly not as practical as a penumbra). Do you know how much that .50 AE ammo costs? A 12-gauge shotgun has been around forever, though, and has been proven reliable against home invaders, zombies, and aliens. If you need to send something to hell, a shotgun is the most tried and true transportation available.

Ed Hawley from Milpitas, CA asks:
If car companies are advertising "0% APR", is this compounded daily or quarterly?

Neither; it's compounded continuously. Here is the equation. It involves e. Everyone loves e.

Nick Packwood from London, England writes:
You are obviously a super-spy of some kind. Who is your favorite Bond Girl?
I liked the blond one from the most recent Bond movie, Die Another Day. She was great right up until the part she got all dead. Then she lost her appeal.

Sean from Sydney, Australia writes:
Have you thought about making a character's page for your In My World™ posts? While I know you're basing the characters on real world political figures, you've ended up adding in a lot of character points that are entirely your own, such as Condoleezza Rice being an evil supervillainess, President Bush's penchant for prank calling Democrats, the Fox News Reporter, Buck the Marine, and Chomps. Do you think it might be helpful for newcomers to the site if there were a characters page?

Yes, it would be helpful for newcomers.

That was an easy question.

CPT Brook A. Nelson from somewhere (most likely) asks:
When you ask readers to "Please patronize our sponsors", are you referring to the first dictionary definition which is 1) to be a customer of or do you mean 2) to treat condescendingly, haughtily, or coolly?

I mean the first one. The phrase comes from the back of the church bulletin from the church I went to when growing up, and I always like it. So, if you ever plan on buying something from Amazon.com, just go through one of my links to get your stuff so I get money. No cost to you, and it makes me happy. And, when I'm happy, I'm funnier.

Remember this equation: Money = Happy = Funny

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Please keep the questions coming, e-mailing me with the subject "Frank Answers" and include your name and town after the question and blog URL if you have one. Since I like the whole name and town dynamic, if you don't give me a place you're from, I'll randomly select one.

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Frank Answers
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