 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
July 31, 2003
Frank Answers: Britney Spears vs. a Black Howler Monkey, Magnetic North, Coca-Cola vs. Pepsi, and Lady Hunt'n
annika from Los Angeles writes: All I know about Britney Spears is that she seems to be the head of the trend for eleven-year-old girls to dress up like hos. For that, I think the parents are the ones in need of a smacking. I would be much more fearful of the sinister black howler monkey. His evil howl can be heard for miles, and will serve as an alarm to the other monkeys when we finally begin out strike against them. If you still have bowel problems, consult a doctor.
1. Magnetic north is different from true north because it involves magnets.
I agree; Coca-Cola all the way for this real non-commie, America-loving, gun-totin' half-Irishman. Pepsi is too sweet for me; I prefer the dryer taste of Coca-Cola. I usually go for bitter over sweet. That's why I drink my coffee black and why I likes me Guinness.
So far no luck. I guess I'll just have to get used to the fact that I'll die sad and lonely... or in a hail of gunfire. Mmm... hail of gunfire. * * * * Please keep the questions coming, e-mailing me with the subject "Frank Answers" and include your name and town after the question and blog URL if you have one. Since I like the whole name and town dynamic, if you don't give me a place you're from, I'll randomly select one. 22 Responses To "Frank Answers: Britney Spears vs. a Black Howler Monkey, Magnetic North, Coca-Cola vs. Pepsi, and Lady Hunt'n"
"...Mmm... hail of gunfire..." Even more likely to happen if you keep dis'n the Goddess Britney...my love for her is boundless. If I wasn't so lazy I'd stalk her... #1 - Posted by: Bane on July 31, 2003 12:32 PMThat dirty whore Spears? Her??? Why when there's so many other women who put out to ANYONE? #2 - Posted by: Tim E on July 31, 2003 12:47 PMBegone, vile miscreant, do not desecrate the Goddess Britney by even thinking about her with your nasty mind! #3 - Posted by: Bane on July 31, 2003 12:53 PM"If I wasn't so lazy I'd stalk her." Hehe, that's a great line. Laziness: #1 stopper of crime. #4 - Posted by: bitweever on July 31, 2003 01:35 PMBooyah! Huzzah for Coca-cola, nectar of the Gods (next to Ginger Beer, which is like ginger ale, except that you have to be careful not to breathe in while opening the bottle, else you will no longer have any sinuses to speak of). #5 - Posted by: Flakbait on July 31, 2003 01:44 PMFrank, you're 24...not old enough to start worrying about dying alone. Want all of us to start posting your personals on our own blogs? #6 - Posted by: Jennifer on July 31, 2003 03:05 PMhoorah for Coca-Cola Pepsi's for Liberal Communist-loving Frenchman who have pet monkeys. To Hell with them. #7 - Posted by: Tim E on July 31, 2003 03:06 PMDon't worry, Frank. Being single has advantages. Think of all the nifty guns you can afford! Then it's the Commie ninja hippy monkeys that go down in a hail of gunfire :-) #8 - Posted by: Mike M. on July 31, 2003 03:22 PMFrank, you've got me so worried that I'm not sure I can sleep tonight. Seeing as magnetic north is in Canada, does this mean they've already taken over our northern neighbor? How soon until they invade us?! Sure, living in Florida you're safe now, but it's only a matter of time before magnetic north is based in the southeast. #9 - Posted by: JFH on July 31, 2003 05:03 PMHOLY MOTHER OF GOD! I live in Ohio, I better start stockpiling ammunition and grenades now. ...stupid plotting Canadians... #10 - Posted by: Tim E on July 31, 2003 05:52 PMFrank, do you hate it when I post here? MonkeyPants Let me know if you're thinking of taking the "hail of bullets" route, Frank. Maybe we could get a group together for more posthumous news coverage. With a big enough squad, we might be able to perform some public service, like overthrowing North Korea or wiping out the San Diego Zoo's monkey house. #12 - Posted by: SparcVark on July 31, 2003 06:56 PMCount me in that unruly mob of yours. Can we use tear gas on the monkey's first? Then finish them off with lasers? As for the North Koreans, just use bullets with them, they don't howl when they're in agony like monkeys. #13 - Posted by: Tim E on July 31, 2003 08:52 PMHey, I like Coca-Cola better than Pepsi, but Pepsi is born in the Carolinas. It's part of the good old country gun-tootin' South. Don't insult Pepsi by calling it a drink for commies and french people. They probably drink their own urine. #14 - Posted by: John on July 31, 2003 11:39 PMPepsi/Coke? With a little alcohol added in, does it matter? #15 - Posted by: LibertyBob on August 1, 2003 08:33 AMWhy ruin good alcohol with soft drinks? Branch, soda, or tonic depending on the poison. #16 - Posted by: aelfheld on August 1, 2003 09:55 AMFrank likes coke, black coffee & Guinness and at 24, like me, he's looking for the right woman, like me. You need a wingman you got one! #17 - Posted by: Scof on August 1, 2003 10:23 AMHeck, I was 27 before I even met the right one. So you got's some time. Just make sure you buy your guns and toys now, because wives are EXPENSIVE! Worth it, but expensive. #18 - Posted by: Chris Van Dis on August 1, 2003 03:04 PMBetter yet: get a girl who likes guns, and you can shop for more of 'em together. #19 - Posted by: Little Miss Attila on August 3, 2003 05:19 AM24? A callow youth! My folks didn't meet until Dad was 31 and mom was 26; you're doing fine. (Wirlwind romance, lead to a wedding that "would never last" and going on today as a pair of best friends that can seem to read eachother's mind.) BTW, diet pepsi is good..... #20 - Posted by: Sailorette on August 4, 2003 04:30 PMSTUPED HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #21 - Posted by: on April 27, 2004 10:09 PMBe afraid, very afraid. My mom and dad were 17 and 20, respectivly. #22 - Posted by: Trucido on June 22, 2004 02:02 PMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
