About IMAO



Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!


Buy funniest book ever!





IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

About Frank J.

Bloggers:
Frank J.
Harvey
RightWingDuck
Cadet Happy
spacemonkey
Laurence Simon
SarahK

Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
lolterizt
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Editorials
Frank the Artist
In My World
Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits


Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery
Search IMAO
Google
Web www.imao.us
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Blackfive
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Pereiraville
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Scrappleface
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts
Awards



 

August 06, 2003
Frank Answers: Arch de Triumph, Justice League vs. Arab League, and Shooting Lasers at the Speed of Light
Posted by Frank J. at 12:47 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (16)

I've been too busy for Frank Answers™ lately, but that should change later. So keep those questions coming.

Shawn F. from Louisville, Kentucky writes:
Watching Lance Armstrong stand atop the podium in Paris with the Arch de Triumph in the background and hearing the U.S. National Anthem was absolutely precious. (I hope it really bothered the EMB in the crowd.) But, while I was watching that I couldn't help wonder - who built the Arch de Triumph? I mean, I know it's in Paris and all, but surely the French didn't put it there?

I assume it was built by one of the many nations that "triumphed" in conquering France, and then eventually got bored and left. The French probably haven't knocked it down because they are scared of it.


Adam Pappas from Newark, NJ asks:
Who would win in a fight between the Justice League and the Arab
League? Does Aquaman have any chance against Amr Moussa if the fight
takes place in a desert?

Justice League would so kick the Arab League's ass. Superman would personally punch many of them into the sun. Batman when hit them with his batarang and then kick them good. Unfortunately, Aquaman would get whupped by Amr Moussa, but the Flash would quickly run by, grab Aquaman, and then run to the Alps where they could go skiing while the rest of the Justice League takes care of business.


Asha'man from the Chicagoland area writes:
I have a question that has been bothering me for some time. I have watched various SciFi series & movies in hopes of finding an answer; but so far have been unsuccessful so I am hoping you can help! The way I see it, soon the United States will become all-powerful and will master intergalactic space flight. By that time, we should be finished with conquering nations here on earth and we will already own all the oil on this planet.
I want to be able to use these space-craft to seek out new life and new civilizations, boldly going where no man has gone before...for the sole purpose of conquering and stealing oil, that is.
My problem is that I imagine that AS ALWAYS they are going to put up a fuss,
so I need to know if I will be able to fire upon them from my spacecraft while traveling at light speed, or will I need to slow down first? I really like the idea of cruising in faster than light and really letting them have it, but I am afraid that since a laser is light, and I am traveling FASTER than light......I might shoot myself, or worse yet, shoot backwards at my home planet of America!
Can you help me?

Well, this question has to do with the theory of relativity, which states: "Stuff is relative to other stuff." So, whether firing a laser while going the speed of light will work is relative to everything else. Are you angry when you fire it? What day of the week is it? What color is your spacecraft? Are you a Beatles fan? If your answer to any of these questions was something, then the answer to your query is maybe.

* * * *

Please keep the questions coming, e-mailing me with the subject "Frank Answers" and include your name and town after the question and blog URL if you have one. Since I like the whole name and town dynamic, if you don't give me a place you're from, I'll randomly select one.

Rating: 2.5/5 (6 votes cast)

Frank Answers
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
16 Responses To "Frank Answers: Arch de Triumph, Justice League vs. Arab League, and Shooting Lasers at the Speed of Light"

Since lasers travel the speed of light in any frame of reference they will travel away from you at the speed of ligt no matter what speed you're going relative to your target. From the target's perspective they will get hit before you shoot. Thus it's even better than faster than sound missiles which merely hit people before they hear them. You will not, however, shoot yourself.
A simpler way to look at it is you are standing still (since all motion is relative)and the target is moving faster than light and therefore traveling back in time. You will never hit America unless you have your back to the enemy you coward. Unfortunately if you were traveling at exactly the speed of light time would stop and you couldn't shoot your laser at all. On the other hand why not go back to bullets since at the speed of light even a .22 could blow up the Moon.

#1 - Posted by: David on August 6, 2003 01:25 PM

>> hearing the U.S. National Anthem was absolutely precious. (I hope it really bothered the EMB in the crowd.)

Unfortunately, the French probably wren't very upset by it. They're pretty accusomted to hearing other countries' anthems played in their capital. Just another civic event for them.

#2 - Posted by: Pierre on August 6, 2003 01:34 PM

When firing a laser while going faster than the speed of light, scoot either left or right immdeiately afterwards, otherwise when you stop to take the oil, the laser will catch up to you and blast you in the ass. This is bad.

Remember: Shoot, scoot, THEN loot.

#3 - Posted by: Bubba on August 6, 2003 01:52 PM

i ran into a bunch of people who believe approximately Frank's version of the theory of relativity, and apply it to philosophy, including moral philosophy. (morality is relative to our culture b/c Einstein said so). it was scary.

#4 - Posted by: Elliot Temple on August 6, 2003 02:11 PM

As long as it's not the Justice League from the crappy cartoon show. Hate to say it, but the Arab League would probably pull out a draw against them...

#5 - Posted by: Evil Otto on August 6, 2003 04:23 PM
If your answer to any of these questions was something, then the answer to your query is maybe.

How very zen.

#6 - Posted by: aelfheld on August 6, 2003 04:52 PM

Are you suggesting that there is something going on between Aquaman and the Flash? I can see maybe Aquaman swinging that way, but I never knew about the Flash.

#7 - Posted by: LibertyBob on August 6, 2003 06:20 PM

The Arc de Triumph I believe was commisioned by Napolean. This was possible because of the First Rule of French Warfare: The French only win when not led by a Frenchman. Napolean was a Corsican.

#8 - Posted by: Nephi on August 7, 2003 04:35 PM

Sorry to disagree, but Frank was right I believe the Arc de Triumph was built by the Romans when they conquered France.

#9 - Posted by: David on August 7, 2003 05:19 PM

No, I think it was commisioned by Napoleon. It's not old enough to be Roman.

#10 - Posted by: LACAstronomer on August 7, 2003 08:39 PM

Kinda dumb to argue something that can be looked up
within a few seconds on the internet.

http://www.paristours.com/paristours_articles.php?lang=en&monument=1

#11 - Posted by: melvin toast on August 7, 2003 09:24 PM

The Arc de Triomphe was commisioned by Napoleon.
He was French because the Corsicans are french.
Corsica is a french island...
Idiots!

#12 - Posted by: Lafayette on August 29, 2004 12:43 PM

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.

#13 - Posted by: Hubbard Cristin on October 1, 2004 07:36 PM

The best bitches on the web

#14 - Posted by: weak sister bitch on November 11, 2004 07:02 PM

celebrex

#15 - Posted by: celebrex on December 17, 2004 08:08 PM

propecia
buy propecia
propecia side effects
generic propecia
buy propecia online
cheap propecia
http://www.propeciaonline.biz

#16 - Posted by: propecia on December 29, 2004 07:52 AM
Post a comment




Remember me?

(You may use HTML tags for style)

 

Buy IMAO T-Shirts


IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!





Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24
American Idol
Aqua-Adventures
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Editorials
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Humor
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
lolterizt
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Superego
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933