Your options are too narrow.

You need a choice for: "They are usually pretty funny and on the whole I enjoy them even though occasionally they run a bit long and I end up skimming some of them but I still think they're worth having as at least an occasionial diversion."

Spoons is right - you need at least one more category. I said they're my favorite only because I didn't have the "They're probably my favorite, but Know thy Enemy is funny as hell, and I really miss Frank Discussions, cuz those were awesome too, and Nuke The Moon is one of the best short essays EVER" category.

Frank J,
I don't think that choosing one of the poll options would show my opinion of them.

I think that the first few were truly excellent - short, punchy and truly funny. But in my opinion they have got too long and become a bit silly.

Also your caricatures - I enjoy watching Rumsveld's press conferences primarily because he oozes intelligence plus he often becomes animated especially over some new gadget - eg I remember his comments on receiving a lazer-pointer at one of the press conferences during the Taliban bamb. So in my world he would become the intelligent evil (serial-killer) genius whose machinations were never discovered (and perhaps he needs an evil laugh). For me shouting "Rarr" just does not do it.

Also they should stay in contact with the real world. If I see or read some news item I would then turn to IMAO to get what SHOULD have beem said or done.

So my opinion is: keep them short and relevant, remove the imaginary characters and keep up the IQ of the main characters. Other people may have different opinions, but I thought I would share mine.

You need to have all of them in one section so people can read them start to finish. I'm telling you, you have a book most of the way done with that series...

Frank, and with all respect to A's opinion - don't you dare remove the imaginary characters. If Chomps and Buck dissappear now, it would shatter the lives of MILLIONS. Well.... at least all the rest of your readers. Long or short don't matter none to me. But relevance to current events has never been a problem with IMW and I think you're doing some of your best stuff. Guess you can't please all the people all the time...

I personally think "The World's Angriest Egg-timer" was one of the funniest things I have ever read. You also REALLY need to see if you can write for SNL. I can imagine one of their little cartoons with these as plots.

I frequent "In My World" often and usually forward whatever I find.

Keep it up.

There is not one dadgum thing wrong with In My World! While I love all your posts, it is definately among my favorites. And like Mike the Marine said, removing such beloved characters like Buck and Chomps would be terribly, awfully, horribly devestating and I think I'd cry, and we just wouldn't want that. Keep it just the way it is! Or, just for fun, make it longer to annoy all the ADD people who keep tellin' you to make it shorter :)!

Uh, sometimes I read them if I am not writing really funny stuff for my own blog. Not always, though, but I think it is a good idea to have regular features of some kind to build a following.

Oh well - outnumbered. I'm keeping my head down to avoid any angry dogs.

I love "In My World" so much, that I've started using "Raar" as an exclamation in emails.

FrankJ:

If you should ever stop posting In My World segments on a regular basis, I will teach you why you truly fear monkeys and apes...:P

DM

I love everything you write. I look forward to every single post - Frank Answers, IMW, LOD, Know Thy Enemy, etc... More, less, whatever - I don't care. OK, that's a lie. MORE!!!! I stop by 2 or 3 times a day anyway...

Don't change anything about the In My World posts.

"Rarr"

IMW posts are the first thing I look for on your site. I generally read everything on your site anyway, but I will scroll by other stuff just to get to IMW if I'm running short on time.

BTW, this is your site and you have made IMW what it is, not us (we are merely happy benefactors). So - you should do it however the 'ell you want to (no disrespect intended your excellency)!

IMW is truly excellent. I think it hit its high point around Black Project Insano.

Well, they ARE my favorite part, but the rest of your stuff is far from being a distant second.

In short, I love ALL of your stuff and am Extremely proud to have you as my Imperial Secretary of War.

And yes, I'll get around to that picture for the Peace Gallery soon, you have my word :)

IMW is grrrrrrrrRAAR!! But "A" has a point about doing more reality stuff as well. I loved Black Project Insano, and Bush and Blair being held captive in Belgium by the evil Nicorette (or whoever), but some more current events based stuff would be great too!

They are the reason I visited here in the first place and the only reason I come back.

I too use Rarr! often now - I love 'em just the way they are.

Orion

Don't go changin'
To try and please me.

I voted for them as my favorite because there was no option for "I love EVERYTHING Frank writes."

That, from someone who can't even achieve "LOSER" status.

Frank, I have referred your site to my family and several close friends and encouraged them all to read through the archives of IMW. The only problem I have is when I read them at work, my sudden outbursts of laughter indicates that I am probably not laboring over some dreary text from a client!
How about more parody? on the Fox Girls, and I would love Rumsfield the Strangler vs Geraldo!
All the best, Mike

At the risk of sounding like an IMAO groupie, my life is centered around "In My World!" I feel totally empty if I can't read about the latest adventures of Chomps, Buck the Marine, Empress Rice, or the Rumsfeld Strangler (it's typical of Bloodthirsty Warmonger to pick the most violent characters). Keep writing until you drop!:) Oh yes, don't forget to tell us about Buck the Marine's triumphal return visit to Belgium after he's done with Liberia.

Do I love them? Yes!
Are they my favorite?.....that's like asking me which of my children I love most....the one with the gun!!
Seriously I hope you continue to write them, especially now that you seem to have gotten over the urge to top yourself every time.

Frank,

I think that your in My world should more reflect your own stories which ever the news. Your last one on Stalin was a very good essay, better than some of your other parodies which are too close trying making dirty fun on something which can be miss understood.

You can make your own stories with false missions and false main characters like Buck and Chromps, and only true characters when the news involve that you put some reality in for the attention of your readers to always be on the question "is it true or not ?" and if it would be true, how funny the reality would be. Your characters until now were good characters because they were caricatures, a reality made with distortions and that your stories were able to interact in the reality and show it with a different eye as if your stories were able to produce what could happen in the reality.

If you make false stories which could be probable, the fun is when the probabilities happen when they have been related before because then your fantasy becomes everyday distortion with which the news are listened with a false objectivity, but which is educative because the false always question the truth, with fun, which means no pessimism in the way to question the reality. And within the fun, the optimism is what most people expect to keep in mind when the truth needs that the life keeps on with going with happiness, the happiness with which friendship, and famillyhood are not only an illusion.

I remember some comments of your readers about their relations with their children because of your In my World. That was good results to you on which you should keep on working better than satires. Your readers are not satirical, they like what is funny and especially when it is a two level fun: first read it is funny, and when the story is in mind, the analyze of the content does reveal why it's funny which makes the fun more probant like nuking the moon. First it is so strange that it's funny, and when analyzed, it is so probant that it's funny.

Probability means an objective determination to make what the majority of the people would do, for example the Peace, and the fun means a reality of making what the majority of the people would do, but differently and with distortions. It becomes educative when the distortion and the fun give the courage to the people keeping involve in the reality.

A kind of story: it could be Bush on holidays in Camp Davis... with Laura and Mrs. Rice (BTW, is she married, does she have children ?). We can imagine what the holidays can be, rafting and rodeo. The come back in September, and Buck's advices for children for a good school year. Each month you could take the probable happening which usually occur and predicate the news with your fantasy... that could help you not being constrain with the lack of events.

Regards,

I picked the first one, but I think you need a category, "Of course I like them, they're freaking funny." Without comparing them to anything else. Why do I have to choose? It's like asking if I want to stay with mommy or daddy.
My favorite part of this site is pretty much all of it. Except that you didn't answer my question. But that's a personal problem.

Oh, and I disagree with Spoons. I like to read and I hate it when something I am enjoying reading ends.

Sorry, one more thing. Make sure you take Amphynopoint's advice. It has a great blog, why, I bet dozens of people visit it each month.

I read every IMW post. Chomps rules.

Veeshir, are you just only hypocritical, or is it you satire to call me Amphynopoint.

BTW Frank, don't let anybody too much influence you, neither me. Just be yourself. You can be a nice guy, but you some time make silly things to be of the taste of every body. In your blog, you are your own master, and people are reading you because they like what you do yourself, not what you do they could do themselves.

Satire is a gender of writing, humor is an other gender, caricature an other one, etc... it belongs to the writers personality and his synergy with his readers, the game he likes to play with them (not against them), so has to say when being a writer, it is better having two blogs with two different genders than one blog with two different genders, because the confusion is not always of the readers aptitude, and all readers have different aptitudes.

What makes the blogosphere being a particular world is when everybody can become his own master on something while it is also possible to be a second master on something else, being a Master in fun and caricature, and a secretary in satire... for example.

Amphitryon writes of Miss Rice:
BTW, is she married, does she have children ?.

Condoleeza is not married, has no children. From what I've read, she's had a few boyfriends from the NFL -- coaches, former players.

There was quite a good article on her by Antonia Felix printed in the Washington Post. She padded it into a book, which didn't really add much. Can't find a link to either the original article or Ms. Felix's Q&A on the original article, but here's a discussion with Ms. Felix after the publication of her book:

http://discuss.washingtonpost.com/zforum/02/sp_books_felix120202.htm

Yours truly,
Jeffrey Boulier

Frank-

I'm glad you came out with that update. Don't you dare stop writing IMW.

Sometimes I have to visit your site a couple of times to read all of your entries, (as IMW's are usually long) but, I seriously doubt you have a problem with that.

IMAO, the IMW posts are great. I suspect that they draw the most return visitors (due to the continuity of the characters and the humor). I hope you don't get tired of writing them.

Your other stuff can be very funny, too, but always seems more hit-or-miss.

Amphitryon,

You write well for someone whose first language is not English. And you have a unique kind of web site.

So keep it up. I like bizarre twisted individuals like Frank J. and you.

I would write more but the nurse is coming for me with the thorazine injection.

I love the IMW posts (and voted accordingly), but I also love your other segments. A choice of 'anything Frank writes is pretty darned good' would have been nice.

In my world should be a show on the comedy channel or Spike TV. Sorry about the Maureen Dowd Idea, I was plastered whe I thunk it up

Thank you for the tip Jeffrey.

Tictoc, that is kind of you to pander my efforts to write in English, still I have to progress.

About the twisted individuals, I think that is the purpose of blogging. The bloggosphere and especially IMAO is full of twisted individuals, nothing personal between Frank and me.

I am impressed by Frank's work for his blog, the seriousness and the fidelity with which he writes everyday for his readers, the way he tries to understand them and please them with his stories. I am also impressed with the amount of people comming here and feeling happiness because of Frank's posts, so I can only encourage him to go on writing.

I think he has a real personality, a real character in himself and that he should better try to listen to his own talented ideas to let his personality come out and lastly satisfy is efforts in writing, getting a real contentment in writing, as any writer would, so I encourage him... but I rather not twist so much.

IMW is your one feature that I always read. The rest usually only get sampled. BTW - I hope that Arnold wins. Just think of the possibilities of a conservative Republican governor with the Kennedy Klan for in-laws. Maybe Chomps could visit and help prune the family tree.

Frank,

What about the drawing characters. Did not you have once the idea of making a concourse of drawing characters ?... Chromps, Rumsfeld, Rice, Mr. and Mrs Bush...?

WHAT.....ME WORRY???

Sorry I didn't vote, but I think the IMW posts are great. I've been sending people on my AIM buddylist to come to this website just to read them. Everyone thinks they are hilarious. I read everyone as soon as I have the time. And then I double check and triple check to make sure a new one hasn't come out. Anyone that wants to whine about them might as well be French. Keep up the good work Frank.

Frank - You are the best blog going. IMW rules. Write faster!!!! World's Angriest Egg Timer was one of the funniest things I've ever read. You are as funny as Dilbert, or P.J. O'Rourke before he remarried.

Two minor points:

1) Buck the Marine has been getting dumber lately. He should be quiet in a Clint Eastwood or Terminator kind of way, not stupid.
2) He should be dating the Fox News babe, and distract her from getting the real news on what the rest of the characters are doing.

P.S. What does IMAO stand for?

Nice site.