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August 21, 2003
Big Bad Blog War Update
Posted by Frank J. at 09:34 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (57)

You can call me names, you can make fun of my appearance, you can call me racial epithets, but YOU DO NOT CALL ME A COMMUNIST!

White Glenn has declared open season on spreading lies about Frank J. (BTW, congratulations to Tiger on his first Instalanche). So now the linkage come to whomever is ready to defame me (example1, example2, example3). And, of course, the current tagline he has is a complete and utter fabrication. He thinks that by attacking me he can destroy the cause (though this one attacks also Misha, Annika, and whomever the guy is seated to the left), but we are an Alliance, not just one man. If we fall the Puppy Blender, though, the few who swear to him will no longer have a leg to stand on.

It is time to strike back my friends.

I want everyone to come up with their best Glenn Reynolds story, the more made up the better (photoshopped images a plus). Put it on your blog and then next we'll pick the best and make sure to repeat the lie until anyone researching into the blogosphere sees it as fact. Don't worry; as bad as anything you make up about Glenn Reynolds, nothing could be worse than the reality of this evil, puppy blending man.

As for people without blogs, we need to come up with ideas for what you can do to help the Alliance. I was thinking maybe we could find a dumb congressman or woman (of which there are plenty) and send signatures on an initiative to condemn White Glenn for all his evils. Other ideas are certainly welcome.

From now on, war planning will be moved to our headquarters (linked on my sidebar where the banner should eventually go). Also, I need someone else to take over keeping the membership; I am already straining myself for time keeping my regular blogging duties so I need more people to take up leadership positions. We will soon stop letting just anyone join and will need standards for admitting new members. BTW, many new ones have been added to the compatriots list. The newest will be at the bottom. Go check them out as many are some great blogs I had never seen before. Also, if you e-mailed me asking to join and don't see yourself there, make sure to tell me.

I also want to clear up some things being said about the Great Blog War ala snopes.

* The Blogger Alliance is all about getting links from Instapundit.com - FALSE - We declare hatred of his linkage, and cringe at the touch of his Instalanches as if it were the caress of the devil. We will achieve much greater traffic once he is out of our way.

* The Blog War is all about generating traffic for your blogs - FALSE - It is also about getting bags and bags of money and power.

* The Blog War is silly - FALSE - You are silly to think this. Centuries from now, people will speak of the Great Blog War.

* The Blogger Alliance is Communist - FALSE - Everyone in the Alliance will receive great linkage (I would say a minimum of a million visitors a day), but some more than others based on their talent. Of course, I will get the most traffic as I am the most talented.

* Glenn Reynolds kills the puppies through humane means before blending them - FALSE - He says the energy drinks are only tasty if the puppy is alive during blending.

* Jennifer smells like a monkey - TRUE

* Jennifer is a monkey - UNDETERMINED

* All who oppose the Blogger Alliance will be destroyed - TRUE - Either they will be destroyed outright or whither and die.

* The Blogger Alliance will one day be ten times as influential as all media sources today combined - FALSE - We will be a hundred times as great.

* This whole blog war idea is just some vain idea of Frank J.'s related to some deep seated insecurities he has yet to fess up to - UNDETERMINED

I hope that cleared some things up. Now it is time to look at our banner candidates and finally pick one.

I want to remind people that the banner shouldn't be wider than around 200 pixels so it can fit on people's sidebars (I shrunk all the entrants). Also, the Alliance shouldn't be all about me, so I would eschew references to IMAO or Frank J.

Anyway...

A little too threatening, and there I am. Kinda cool, though.

Wicked. I likes. Maybe too scary looking, though... but who knows.

The idea here was to have me on top being the leader and then each person have their own banner with their name on it for their blog.

Our logo should be pro-future media dominance, and not too infatuated with the evils of White Glenn. Things like this have use with the Alliance as promotional, though.

Interesting... though I don't really get it.

Mountain of skulls is a bit against the goals here (Im not saying it wont happen).

I kinda like this one. Very official looking.

A little too... uh... Commie looking.

Sweet and simple.

I think we have some good candidates. Let's decide on a banner from these (perhaps with minor modifications) and then next step is to destroy Instapundit.com. Then comes the riches and power.

Instapundo Delenda Est!

Rating: 1.9/5 (54 votes cast)

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