IMAO: Big Bad Blog War Update

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August 21, 2003

Big Bad Blog War Update

Posted by Frank J. at 09:34 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (57)

You can call me names, you can make fun of my appearance, you can call me racial epithets, but YOU DO NOT CALL ME A COMMUNIST!

White Glenn has declared open season on spreading lies about Frank J. (BTW, congratulations to Tiger on his first Instalanche). So now the linkage come to whomever is ready to defame me (example1, example2, example3). And, of course, the current tagline he has is a complete and utter fabrication. He thinks that by attacking me he can destroy the cause (though this one attacks also Misha, Annika, and whomever the guy is seated to the left), but we are an Alliance, not just one man. If we fall the Puppy Blender, though, the few who swear to him will no longer have a leg to stand on.

It is time to strike back my friends.

I want everyone to come up with their best Glenn Reynolds story, the more made up the better (photoshopped images a plus). Put it on your blog and then next we'll pick the best and make sure to repeat the lie until anyone researching into the blogosphere sees it as fact. Don't worry; as bad as anything you make up about Glenn Reynolds, nothing could be worse than the reality of this evil, puppy blending man.

As for people without blogs, we need to come up with ideas for what you can do to help the Alliance. I was thinking maybe we could find a dumb congressman or woman (of which there are plenty) and send signatures on an initiative to condemn White Glenn for all his evils. Other ideas are certainly welcome.

From now on, war planning will be moved to our headquarters (linked on my sidebar where the banner should eventually go). Also, I need someone else to take over keeping the membership; I am already straining myself for time keeping my regular blogging duties so I need more people to take up leadership positions. We will soon stop letting just anyone join and will need standards for admitting new members. BTW, many new ones have been added to the compatriots list. The newest will be at the bottom. Go check them out as many are some great blogs I had never seen before. Also, if you e-mailed me asking to join and don't see yourself there, make sure to tell me.

I also want to clear up some things being said about the Great Blog War ala snopes.

* The Blogger Alliance is all about getting links from Instapundit.com - FALSE - We declare hatred of his linkage, and cringe at the touch of his Instalanches as if it were the caress of the devil. We will achieve much greater traffic once he is out of our way.
* The Blog War is all about generating traffic for your blogs - FALSE - It is also about getting bags and bags of money and power.

* The Blog War is silly - FALSE - You are silly to think this. Centuries from now, people will speak of the Great Blog War.

* The Blogger Alliance is Communist - FALSE - Everyone in the Alliance will receive great linkage (I would say a minimum of a million visitors a day), but some more than others based on their talent. Of course, I will get the most traffic as I am the most talented.

* Glenn Reynolds kills the puppies through humane means before blending them - FALSE - He says the energy drinks are only tasty if the puppy is alive during blending.

* Jennifer smells like a monkey - TRUE

* Jennifer is a monkey - UNDETERMINED

* All who oppose the Blogger Alliance will be destroyed - TRUE - Either they will be destroyed outright or whither and die.

* The Blogger Alliance will one day be ten times as influential as all media sources today combined - FALSE - We will be a hundred times as great.

* This whole blog war idea is just some vain idea of Frank J.'s related to some deep seated insecurities he has yet to fess up to - UNDETERMINED

I hope that cleared some things up. Now it is time to look at our banner candidates and finally pick one.

I want to remind people that the banner shouldn't be wider than around 200 pixels so it can fit on people's sidebars (I shrunk all the entrants). Also, the Alliance shouldn't be all about me, so I would eschew references to IMAO or Frank J.

Anyway...

A little too threatening, and there I am. Kinda cool, though.

Wicked. I likes. Maybe too scary looking, though... but who knows.

The idea here was to have me on top being the leader and then each person have their own banner with their name on it for their blog.

Our logo should be pro-future media dominance, and not too infatuated with the evils of White Glenn. Things like this have use with the Alliance as promotional, though.

Interesting... though I don't really get it.

Mountain of skulls is a bit against the goals here (I’m not saying it won’t happen).

I kinda like this one. Very official looking.

A little too... uh... Commie looking.

Sweet and simple.

I think we have some good candidates. Let's decide on a banner from these (perhaps with minor modifications) and then next step is to destroy Instapundit.com. Then comes the riches and power.

Instapundo Delenda Est!

Currently 1.77/5
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Rating: 1.8/5 (31 votes cast)

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57 Responses To "Big Bad Blog War Update"

What have you gotten, like a dozen instalinks in the past week?

#1 - Posted by: Spoons on August 21, 2003 09:51 PM

I believe I was the first one to make the communist comparison - in your own comments section no less!

#2 - Posted by: Vince on August 21, 2003 09:51 PM

Spoons,
Including the one today?

#3 - Posted by: Frank J. on August 21, 2003 10:08 PM

I'm so down with the gun-toting Frank banner.

#4 - Posted by: Tom Bridge on August 21, 2003 10:29 PM

All are equal but some are more equal than others, huh comrade Frank?

#5 - Posted by: Pete on August 21, 2003 10:37 PM

YOU ARE A FUCKING COMMUNIST

#6 - Posted by: Cam on August 21, 2003 10:44 PM

So you start this BlogWar but don't have time for it so everyone else has to do all the work?

Since you're so busy, I can keep track of the membership for you. :-)

#7 - Posted by: Jennifer on August 21, 2003 11:01 PM

I like the sweet and simple banner with the light. Of course, it could stand a little work. Maybe bigger and more text along the lines of 'united against tyranny' or 'reach for the light' or some such. Oh yeah, it's mine.

#8 - Posted by: Romulus on August 21, 2003 11:14 PM

That's not true! That's impossible!

#9 - Posted by: Frank J. Reynolds on August 21, 2003 11:40 PM

I'm more into the skulls and bones pic...reminds me of all the puppy skeletons evil white glenn is tossing in his back yard after whacking a hobo and kicking back with an ice cold puppy shake...that rat bastard...

#10 - Posted by: Justin on August 22, 2003 12:03 AM

Okay, here's my contribution... it's been on my blog a while but it seems the appropriate time!

It is Quiz: Saddam, Fidel, Glenn Reynolds

#11 - Posted by: John Moore (Useful Fools) on August 22, 2003 12:49 AM

Hey, I think I called Frnak J. a communist long before any of you all... I'll check my posts but it's probably in someone else's comments.

Let a thousand puppies blend.

#12 - Posted by: Tim the Vice-Information Minister (Axis of Naughty) on August 22, 2003 01:18 AM

I like the one with your name on top and your allies' names on the bottom. Of course, I am biased.

Ummm...in case you read that bit on my site about those rumors about you being a communist...I just reported the rumor that was floating around. I don't make the facts, I just report them (unless I'm Jason Blair, that is).

#13 - Posted by: Sophorist on August 22, 2003 01:21 AM

I like the commie-looking one, or the one with the eagle. Something sinister.

#14 - Posted by: on August 22, 2003 01:28 AM

I like the one that looks like the Marine Corps would use it...the Global Bloggers Alliance one.

#15 - Posted by: Susie on August 22, 2003 01:34 AM

The horrible truth about Glenn Reynolds is revealed at my blog!!!!!

#16 - Posted by: Susie on August 22, 2003 01:52 AM

i think the guy seated at the far left is Harold Ramis.

#17 - Posted by: annie on August 22, 2003 02:38 AM

The circle/globe, or the eagle.

The sky banner loses its appeal without the legend about the light.

#18 - Posted by: Little Miss Attila on August 22, 2003 05:39 AM

Wang.

#19 - Posted by: on August 22, 2003 07:23 AM

It is time to strike back my friends.

Indeed. We're gettin' bored, over here!

Let one-thousand puppies blend!

#20 - Posted by: Victor on August 22, 2003 08:27 AM

Not sure who the guy on the left is, but I'm the one wearing the red blouse...It was in retaliation for my posting of Evil Minion and Lesser Evil Minion...

I still think we need more work on a banner.

#21 - Posted by: Blackfive on August 22, 2003 09:19 AM

...sorry, that link was supposed to be http://blackfive.blogs.com/photos/the_enemy/evil_and_lesser_evil_minions.html

That's what I get for *hiccup* drinking at 7am...

#22 - Posted by: Blackfive on August 22, 2003 09:21 AM

I think you guys are missing the REAL hideous truth about the Instameister--namely, that's he's one of the five immortal Puppet Masters, the Illuminati Primi! As was clearly revealed in Wilson/Shea's masterpiece of investigative reporting, "Illuminatus!", since the days of Atlantis this shadowy cabal has been subtly steering mankind toward annihilation so that the released life energy of billions of victims can translate all the Illuminati to the astral plane (the reason for the puppy blending might be similar, come to think of it).

Hard to believe, I know, but truth is stranger than fiction.

#23 - Posted by: Bent Pyramid on August 22, 2003 09:46 AM

Dont you just wish you had a flaming monkey head? Hehe but you don't! Yours will never be as cool! *Evil laugh*

#24 - Posted by: Rachael on August 22, 2003 10:22 AM

YOU DO NOT CALL ME A COMMUNIST!

Lighten up Francis!

Stripes reference>

#25 - Posted by: George on August 22, 2003 10:54 AM

Geroge,
You ain't the first.

#26 - Posted by: Frank J. on August 22, 2003 11:26 AM

Listen braniacs. There is a reason Instapundit is on top and the rest are not. It is simply b/c, you all have opinions and you put it out there expecting everyone to agree. Duh, a person is going to have to agree or disagree, and the outcome is...well..this is what the blog war is about. Instapundit, doesn't really give a long winded opinion about topics. What he really does is just point you all over the web giving you everyone else's opinion. That is why he has soooo many followers. He doesn't put his ass out there...well, maybe just half his ass. Ya dig?

#27 - Posted by: Ikeepon on August 22, 2003 11:37 AM

What's that supposed to mean, Ikeepon?

Letting the plebes make up their own minds? How? Do they even have any? Where would they be without the Alliance to make up their minds? In Hell, that's where (or at least Purgatory... For at least a month... No TV privileges either)

#28 - Posted by: Emperor Misha I on August 22, 2003 04:01 PM

Oh, and #2, seeing as how I can't see #1 and #4, unless they're supposed to look like that little "can't download image" box that IE uses.

#29 - Posted by: Emperor Misha I on August 22, 2003 04:16 PM

I can't seem them either, but some people seem to be able to.

#30 - Posted by: Frank J. on August 22, 2003 04:21 PM

I am all for the last one. Nice and simple. And it looks like we aren't evil...

The Red, Navy Blue and Gold one with the Navy symbol in the middle is lame. Too pretty.

#31 - Posted by: Blackfive on August 22, 2003 05:10 PM

Saving puppies, botching blenders.

It's the alliance!

hln

#32 - Posted by: hln on August 22, 2003 05:24 PM