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August 26, 2003
Bite-Sized Wisdom: Religion, Standing Strong in Iraq, Al Fraken, Hypocrisy, the Frank Gun Control Challenge, Bill Clinton, Michael Moore, and How to Keep My Money
Posted by Frank J. at 09:01 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (18)

* Dude, they're like trying to take the 10 Commandments away. I know for a fact the founding fathers never meant religion to be the least protected speech, but that's what we keep acting like. People keep saying they donít want other to be unduly influenced, but, come on, we all know Christianity is the true religion. I mean, would Jesus lie? We're going to make God angry with our behavior, and then we won't win all the time and he'll plague us with locusts and hippies.

* More trying to make God angry: they have a high school classes in Michigan that has kids reading anti-American tripe by people like that moral-gnome Chomsky. That's child abuse. Send those teachers to jail and then have the kids write essays on why America has the right to attack any country they damn well feel like.

* We keep hearing bad news from Iraq, and I hope we can turn things around there soon. Some people just want us to turn tail and run, but there is no way we're doing that again. We have to let terrorists and other mentally challenged people know that you if you piss us off, we won't rest until you are dead. Nemo Me Impune Lacessit! (that's Latin for "If you mess with me, I'll f--k you up.")

* And when are we finally going to attack Saudi Arabia? I'm tired of seeing those rat bastards walking around in sheets all unshot and everything. We have like a surprise attack planned, right? It's a lot of princes to kill, but, man, there is so much oil to steal. I hope we have enough equipment. Yeah, that's right, we take our oil, leave, and let Israel clean up the rest.

* Fox News dropped their lawsuit against Al Fraken. My legal opinion about this is that I hate Al Fraken. I wish someone would punch him. Is there a legal precedent for that?

* You hear about this? They're trying to do wind power in Cape Cod, but all the liberals like Ted Kennedy are opposed to it because it messes up their view. Wind power is like a wet dream for environmentalists, but I guess they only think poor people should have to deal with eyesores. Don't get me wrong - I still think wind power is gay - I just like pointing out the hypocrisy. Liberals are so full of it. You don't how many anti-gun-nuts out there actually own guns, have conceal carry permits, or have armed body guards. So they get protection, but no one else. Liberals just hate poor people and don't trust them; that's the only explanation for their behavior.

* That reminds me of what I call the Frank Gun Control Challenge™. I'm tired of dealing with the convoluted logic of anti-gun nuts, so I have this simple challenge to prove the fallacy of their arguments. In the challenge, they stand on one side and let loose their best arguments, while, I stand opposite of them and shoot at them with my .45. If any of their anti-gun tripe can stop my bullet, they win. Otherwise I win. Some may now say, "Hey! That doesn't prove anything!" To which I respond, "I still have more bullets in this gun." Many will continue to think (but no longer voice) that nothing was proven, but some may now say, "Ah ha!" and achieve enlightenment.

* While most of Hollywood are leftists, pretty much every time you see a celebrity run for office he or she is a Republican. Why? Because running for political office means getting challenged on your views, and Hollywood leftists are nigh retarded. Wouldn't you love to see Barbara Streisand get eviscerated in a political debate? Not gonna happen.

* Bill Clinton is going to give Gray Davis the kiss of death while Giuliani is going to campaign for Schwarzenegger - and Giuliani actually got Bloomberg elected. Things are looking up for Ah-nuld.

* Who wants to bet that Bill Clinton will one day be found dead in a cheap motel room by a prostitue, OD's on some designer drug. I just don't see him going out any other way.

* File this under "If I had more time" department: I think it would be cool to find a big pile of manure, put a baseball cap on top, take a picture of me standing next to it, and then post the picture on my webpage saying, "Hey, look! I met Michael Moore!" Only problem is that I don't know where to find a big pile of manure and I don't own any baseball caps. Oh well.

* I think I got a lead on the monkey that stole my stereo. Ends up he's been going town to town doing that. I also think he may be the chimp that shot me. I feel like such a fool for not recognizing him, but I'll hunt him down; this I swear.

* Speaking of monkeys, I don't like Democrats. They want to raise my taxes; I just know it. They're probably plotting about it right now. I saw this documentary about how a coyote will try to catch it's prey, and one method is to paint a tunnel onto a rock wall. We should do that and put of a sign pointing to the phony tunnel saying, "Angry, Dumb People This Way." Then the Democrats will be like, "Wow! Those people should vote for us!" So they'll drive their campaign buses right into the wall and my money will be saved from their thieving hands.

* I could also pray to God to smite the Democrats, but He hasn't been listening to me since I read that article on Buddhism. Hey, I was just curious, yo. And the guy with the fat belly makes me laugh.

Rating: 2.6/5 (31 votes cast)

Bite-Sized Wisdom
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