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September 18, 2003
"May the Schwartz be with you!"
Posted by Frank J. at 09:56 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (41)

Merchandise! Merchandise! Merchandise!

I like the idea of Merchandise. You people want something, I supply it for you and get money, and we're both happy. The Nuke the Moon t-shirt is nearing the end of its run, and I want to try and come up with a new product. I would like to stick with ThoseShirts.com because Doug there does an awesome job with his products as anyone who owns the Nuke the Moon t-shirt and especially the new Misha mug can attest (not to degrade the Rachel Lucas mug which I also own and is quite lovely).

People mention they would like an In My World™ themed t-shirt, but I'm afraid I don't have enough readers yet to sustain such a product which that would only appeal to regular readers. Instead, I would like to try to think of something that might appeal to people who have never seen my site, maybe using a quote from one of my In My World™ posts. One recent suggestion is the quote, "The most powerful thing known to man is a pissed-off American." I was thinking it could have an image of Buck the Marine with the American flag in the background. Another suggestion was a "Hell's Democrats" t-shirt with the slogan "I'm gonna cut me a 'publican!" but that probably would appeal to a different audience.

I really need your help here, guys. Is there any quote of mine you think would make a good product? Would you want a mug instead of a t-shirt? Do you not care for a product at all? I'd mainly be selling it to you, my readers, so I'd really appreciate it if everyone comments on what they think.

Rating: 2.4/5 (4 votes cast)

Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
41 Responses To ""May the Schwartz be with you!""

"The U.S. military, killing furners since 1773."

#1 - Posted by: Ross on September 18, 2003 10:04 AM

I vote for a "Know Your Enemies" series of shirts.

#2 - Posted by: Doug Stewart on September 18, 2003 10:08 AM

A bloodstained mousepad with all the possible meanings of IMAO in bold white letters.

#3 - Posted by: Laurence Simon on September 18, 2003 10:17 AM

I would particularly like one citing:

"The cycle of violence will continue until the Palestinians stop being such a bunch of numbnuts... or if Israel finally gets fed up and nukes them all."

#4 - Posted by: Doug Stewart on September 18, 2003 10:25 AM

Frank, I think you already thought of the it. There's a big
audience too:

"I think it would be cool to find a big pile of manure, put a baseball cap on top, take a picture of me standing next to it, and then post the picture on my webpage saying, "Hey, look! I met Michael Moore!""

#5 - Posted by: melvin toast on September 18, 2003 10:32 AM

Buck the Marine, machine gun ready, standing over the inscription:

"Freedom. Or else".
(also, a Latin translation would be cool)

Rumsfeld, looking angry:

"I don't do diplomacy"
(actual quote)

Condi, looking imperial, perhaps draped in a robe and sitting on a throne.
(nothing more necessary)

The whole gang:

"Bring it on......We're 2-0. Who wants some?"

Just suggestions, of course.

#6 - Posted by: Jon Henke on September 18, 2003 10:42 AM

Granted, I know those aren't your quotes, but they use your themes, so....

However, how about a revised-for-wearability version of the Frank Gun Control Challenge:

"If any of your gun control arguments can stop my bullet, you win."

Or similar.

#7 - Posted by: Jon Henke on September 18, 2003 10:48 AM

It's really too early for me to be very coherent, but I like both of your suggestions, Frank, and agree with Doug that a series of "Know Thy Enemy"s would be awesome. I'll post more when I think of something, an when I've woken up a bit.

#8 - Posted by: Dana on September 18, 2003 10:49 AM

Lady Executioner's mind controlling rays are finally penetrating the skull of Frank J. (Turning on full volume)

Make us T-shirts! Make us mugs! Make us BBQ aprons! Or your mind will melt, you will turn into a monkey and will not get a cent of profit! Bwahhhh!

I vote for the Warmonger's Gang Line.

Bring it on!

#9 - Posted by: Katherine on September 18, 2003 11:04 AM

I don't think the In My World audience is too small to pull off a T-shirt. As a regular, I would buy one, and I think most other regulars would actually rather have an IMW than a NTM shirt (as if they don't already!) I came here to read the NTM, but stayed for IMW.

Just an idea: solicit artists for drawing up a group picture of the characters. Offer credit on the shirt, and some publicity through the site for the winning artist, or perhaps a % of the shirts would be in order.

#10 - Posted by: Trevor on September 18, 2003 12:50 PM

Not T-shirts! Halloween costumes! You can dress every kid in North America with this stuff!

#11 - Posted by: Mike McDaniel on September 18, 2003 01:13 PM

Why not a shirt with Rarr! on it? An inside joke, but it shouldn't cause too much confusion among the great unwashed.

#12 - Posted by: aelfheld on September 18, 2003 01:16 PM

That kid, he's France. That was my MSN IM name for a month.

hln

#13 - Posted by: hln on September 18, 2003 01:17 PM

A Hell's Democrats theme would be great.
You could market it to the lefty bloggers and sell it like hot cakes.
Imagine having all sorts of lefties from moderate democrat all the way out to smelly moonbat hippy financing IMAO...the irony.
Indeed.

#14 - Posted by: DarthVOB on September 18, 2003 01:35 PM

Lefty Stevens and Melinda Hawkish standing side by side microphone in hand, with the caption "It's the war slut"

#15 - Posted by: on September 18, 2003 01:55 PM

I am with Jon H. on this one. Rummy with the don't do diplomacy quote or the whole gang and 2 and 0. Priceless.

#16 - Posted by: Blackfive on September 18, 2003 02:08 PM

I would like my picture on your T-shirts. For every t-shirt you sell I will have a gun melted down in your name.

Please remember, my head is so big, that all t-shirts sold will have to be XXXL.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Michael Moore

#17 - Posted by: Michael Moore on September 18, 2003 02:15 PM

How about the picture at http://jenlars.mu.nu/archives/001894.html ?

#18 - Posted by: Pete on September 18, 2003 02:22 PM

I gotta say i'm dissapointed that the Nuke the Moons are gonna run out soon...my whole family was planning on getting one for Hannukah. On the other hang, a shirt with the In My World gang would be pretty freakin awesome, and if it looked cool i would definately buy it (as would probably my brothers and father).

#19 - Posted by: zach on September 18, 2003 02:22 PM

You definately need a 2-0 t-shirt, with the rumsfeld quote, i'm just not sure if "the gang" goes as well as Buck imposed on an American Flag. Your patriotism would appeal to everyone except commies, who haven't bought a new t-shirt in 5 years anyway, and monkeys, who don't wear t-shirts.

#20 - Posted by: The Pappa on September 18, 2003 03:09 PM

There will be quite a selection of "In My World" quotes to choose from tomorrow on a certain right wing news blog which shall remain nameless...

#21 - Posted by: John Hawkins on September 18, 2003 03:57 PM

paraphrasing: "Do you want to live in a world where the French go unstrangled?"

#22 - Posted by: Kirk on September 18, 2003 04:11 PM

Hey Frank, did you see this in Best of The Web? Damn Monkees...


Monkey Antibusiness
New research suggests that monkeys are Democrats, the Associated Press reports:

In a recent study, brown capuchin monkeys trained to exchange a granite token for a cucumber treat often refused the swap if they saw another monkey get a better payoff--a grape.

Instead, they often threw the token, refused to eat the piece of cucumber, or even gave it to the other capuchin after viewing the lopsided deal, said Emory University researcher Sarah Brosnan.

She said the results indicate man and monkey may have inherited a sense of fairness from an evolutionary ancestor.

Next question: If you gave an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, would they eventually write a speech for Howard Dean?

#23 - Posted by: on September 18, 2003 04:55 PM

Buck the Marine. no question. but he needs to be cute but fierce looking...

#24 - Posted by: Susie on September 18, 2003 06:40 PM

Buck, shouting "OORAH!!!!"

#25 - Posted by: Victor of the Apes on September 18, 2003 07:22 PM

Hell's Democrats! That would be so awesome - college lefties everywhere would buy it...but they would be funding IMAO! Feed off your enemy!

#26 - Posted by: Tom on September 18, 2003 07:37 PM

Or, two lines of shirts, one for each biker gang. The Warmongerers and the Hell's Democrats. Talk about wide appeal!

#27 - Posted by: Tom on September 18, 2003 07:38 PM

OOOOOOOh, yeah, what Tom said! I'd be torn, because while I'm actually a democrat and would like to wear a "gonna cut me a 'publican" T-shirt, I'm a pretty strident warmonger who thinks the great General savior of the democratic party must have REALLY sucked as a general, because he didn't get ANYTHING right he pontificated about on CNN.

#28 - Posted by: SwampWoman on September 18, 2003 07:46 PM

Hell's Democrats.

Following Sun Tzu, "Let war finance war."

MonkeyPants
Imperial Falconer

#29 - Posted by: MonkeyPants on September 18, 2003 08:08 PM

Howzabout;
Chomps, wearing his blue UN helmet, hunched-shouldered and glaring at the viewer, with the caption:
"Sure this could work, if you project it as THIS!"

Thoughts?

#30 - Posted by: P-40B on September 18, 2003 08:41 PM

You need shirts with lots of violence on them.

like napalm falling on people and burning them really bad.......that would kick ass.

bUT MAKE THE BURNS AND SCARS AND FLESH WONDS REALLLLLLLY realistic so it will be cool.
you need drawings of american soldiers giving terrorists headshots. you need terrorists with
missing limbs and dead corpses all over the place and american soldiers standing on their dead bodies .

kinda like this picture:
http://maddox.xmission.com/war.html

#31 - Posted by: Apollo on September 18, 2003 08:42 PM

How about a in my world book

#32 - Posted by: jacob hammond on September 18, 2003 09:02 PM

We don't like the lefties? Why not? I'm a lefty.

#33 - Posted by: AnnJ on September 18, 2003 11:19 PM

I was going to comment that I think a Warmongers shirt would be cool, but that post from Apallo really freaked me out.
I mean, what kind of weirdo wouldn't capitalize "American"?

#34 - Posted by: Ron on September 19, 2003 12:47 AM

I like the idea of a smiling Condi Rice pointing to a nuclear weapon with a smiley face on it with the caption
"It's a 10 megaton 'Happy Bomb'"
Maybe an inside joke, but pretty darn funny.

#35 - Posted by: Veeshir on September 19, 2003 08:04 AM

Gotta be: The whole gang:

"Bring it on......We're 2-0. Who wants some?"

#36 - Posted by: Merry on September 19, 2003 12:54 PM

I love the "2-0" idea as well as the "pissed-off American" idea... I'd buy either (or both).

By the way, this is the first time I've posted here but I've been reading you for a while. You've got one of the best sites on the internet, and one of very few I check every day.

#37 - Posted by: Dan G on September 19, 2003 04:30 PM

I would definately have to put my vote in for Buck the Marine or Hell's Democrats. I also like the idea of the different meanings of IMAO. That's definately a way to get your name out, and I myself have spend many hours pondering that very idea...what DOES it stand for????

#38 - Posted by: Mackynzie on September 19, 2003 10:37 PM

I like these quotes. I would like to see them on shirts, bumper stickers, mugs, calendars, or whatever.
-----
'The deficits are puny. I will crush them. I am Ah-nuld!'
When I read that, I see Arnold in a Lou Ferrigno Incredible Hulk pose crushing a pie chart of the California deficit.
-----
"It's the U.S. Marines' supreme right in this world to kill whatever the hell they want!"
With Buck the Marine and his beloved M-16 before the American Flag .
-----
"I don't do diplomacy"
With Rumsfeld looking mean.
-----
"Bring it on......We're 2-0. Who wants some?"
Underneath I see whole gang posing for a picture in front of the White House
Personally I always see The Rumsfled Strangler, dressed as Darth Vader, only without the helmet, holding a reporter off the ground by his neck (Like in Star Wars). Condi in her super villianess costume stepping on a reporter, with a Happy Bomb beside her. Dubya as a cowboy,(of course) twirling a lasso. Laure as Mrs. Cleaver holding some fresh baked cookies. Chomps frothing at the mouth, knawing on a reporter. Clancy as one of the Men in Black. Carl Rowe's glowing red eyes staring out from the shadows behind them. Scott with his floral cape swerling in the breaze. Cheney in his undisclosed location. Melinda Hawkish in her bikini using her microphone cable to strangle Lefty Stevens. And Collin Powell looking like, Collin Powell.
-----
"Violence is truly a universal language."
With a picture of two guys trying to beat each others brains out.
-----
"Violence truly allows every living thing to communicate between each other."
With a bunny rabbit gunning down a Tyranosaurus.
-----
"I don’t like monkeys."
Showing a monkey with a red circle with a line running across it. Or mabye a bulleye.
-----
"The government is like Godzilla: it’s most adept as smashing and breaking things"
With a picture of the big guy stomping on tokyo.
-----
"No problem is so complex that it can't be solved by proper firearm usage."
With somebody blowing away a Rubics Cube. Or a chalkboard with a math story problem. I hate math story problems.
-----
"IMAO, bringing peace, love, and cheap ammo to the masses"
-----
"Canada, America-Lite, Eh?"
-----
“Gotta nuke something.”
-20th century philosopher Nelson Muntz
-----
"Peace can only be achieved through excessive acts of seemingly mindless violence"

#39 - Posted by: Matt M on September 20, 2003 12:34 AM

Chomps! Chomps! Chomps!

#40 - Posted by: meg on September 21, 2003 11:54 AM
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