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September 23, 2003
Bite-Sized Wisdom: Gen. Clark, Aschcroft vs. Reno, South-Paws, and... uh.... Stuff
* So this General Wesley Clark enters the race and no one's heard of him, but suddenly he's the front-runner. That must make the other Democrat candidates feel pretty low. Sounds like Jojo the Democrat monkey could be the front runner if he entered the race and there was some buzz that he could beat Bush. * Bill and Hillary Clinton seem to be lurking behind Wesley Clark, so you know the darkest of evil must be involved. I don't know how Clark's nomination could lead to the downfall of man, but you can bet this intrepid blogger will keep on the story until some new videogame comes out. * Wesley Clark reportedly said he would have been a Republican if Karl Rove had only returned his phone call. That's pretty whiny sounding, which makes him a Democrat. Rove should call Clark now and say, "Here's your callback, bitch," and then hang up. * Some poll says Clark is tied with Bush. Are there really that many mindless Bush haters to make that possible? What we need to do is put out a bunch of shiny objects on Election Day to distract those people from voting. * Bush is going to address the U.N. today about getting help on Iraq. He should bring a bat. Anyone speaks out of turn - POW! - they get the bat. A lot of people at the U.N. are foreign and thus don't know American ways, so Bush should familiarize them. * Aschroft is really mean to criminals, telling prosecutors to always charge criminals with maximum crimes and penalties. This is in contrast to Janet Reno who gave prosecutors much more leniency. Then again, she did burn people alive and take little Cuban kids prisoner at the gunpoint of an MP5 submachine gun. So, that’s not exactly lenient, especially if you're a little Cuban kid. * To tell you the truth, I lost most interest in the Elian Gonzales incident when I found out he wasn't related to Speedy. * BTW, I really hate left-handed people. They always seemed like weird-ass mutants to me. I'd always find all the left handed desks in a classroom and engrave in it with a switchblade, "YOU'RE NOT WANTED HERE, SINISTER ONE!" * Okay, I made that last thing up. I'm having trouble finding news stories to comment on. * Apparently there was some hurricane that hit some place, but not here where I am in Florida. It didn't even rain, and I'm like right next to the coast. I'm wondering if all these hurricanes are just a myth, because I've yet to see one. * There are supposed to be shark attacks down here too, but I've yet to see one of those either. Then again, I never bother to go to the beach. You probably won't find many at the Wal-Mart. * I've also yet to see an alligator in the wild, even though like everyone here has alligator story. When I do see one, I hope I have my .45 on me that day. That's right, alligator, just keep on moving, or I won't be seeing you later. * The Florida Gators (who just lost to the Puppy Blender's Tennessee Volunteers) put out a press booklet with what was supposed to be a picture of a fierce alligator, but instead it was a crocodile. What percentage of the population do you think would be able to correctly identify a crocodile from an alligator? I know I'm not one of them. * I'm think I'm out of things to say, but the fingers won't stop typing. Mmm... coffee. * Damn, I just can't think of anything more, but I have some great ideas for the In My World™ tomorrow. I also, once again, forgot to prep some questions for Frank Answers™ this afternoon, but maybe I can come up with another quick little post if I have time at lunch. BTW, I want to start looking for an agent for my humor writing; anyone know how to go about that? 16 Responses To "Bite-Sized Wisdom: Gen. Clark, Aschcroft vs. Reno, South-Paws, and... uh.... Stuff"
....that's "VOLUNTEERS", Frank...no sense in bringing the glorious Vols into your Blogger War with the Evil Puppy Blender.. #2 - Posted by: Eric on September 23, 2003 09:03 AMThe word sinister derives from the Latin for "left-handed." But you probably already knew that, Oh Exalted One! Left-handed Bob Eric, Waa haa haa, you never know when the sinister left-handed people are coming to get you. And I'm a left-handed female, which is even more rare and sinister. And I have a warren of evil, long-toothed lagomorphs! Beware! Elizabeth But how can a neocon hawk say anything bad about Sinisters, when Ronald Reagan is one... H. S. "Sinister" Steler #6 - Posted by: H. S. Steler on September 23, 2003 10:14 AMI said I was joking. And am I a neo-con? I thought I was a paleo-con. And what do you call someone who was conservative but becomes a liberal? An Ex-con? #7 - Posted by: Frank J. on September 23, 2003 10:59 AMReagan was just the first step toward world domination by we sinistrals. Don Juan said that your death is always with you and stands at your left side. Left handers are intimate with death and are the formidible enforcement branch of the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy. Left-handed Ken #8 - Posted by: Ken N. on September 23, 2003 11:03 AMRe: an agent. Sorry...I never got back to you about that stuff. I spoke to some people about how to market comedy writing, and they all insisted that the important thing was to get it "out there" first. KDKA-am in Pittsburgh, I hear, does this sort of thing. I'd imagine there's no shortage of morning shows in the Tampa/Orlando area that would love free material for a little while. The trick is to get them to notice you first....once you are a known commodity, with a bit of a resume, then you can ask for money. Just start sending it to the show producers....contact them at the station, and ask if they'll look over some stuff. Just some thoughts... #9 - Posted by: Jon Henke on September 23, 2003 12:05 PMThat whole "Clark is a wannabe Republican" is completely made-up, as even the White House admits: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/sept0304.html#0922031004pm #10 - Posted by: Steve on September 23, 2003 12:44 PMLeft-handers can be useful. Second semester accounting, auditorium seating, left-handed Greg the accounting wiz sits next to me - I could have written on his test as easily as mine. It was right under my nose - I pass. #11 - Posted by: Bubba on September 23, 2003 01:07 PMGlenn Beck used to live in the Tampa area. But heck, send an email to WFLA 970 AM, Frank. Just send a link to your site, let them read the stories, and they can make the decision from there... as for alligators, I'm amazed you haven't seen any around here, they're everywhere. But if you're bored/curious, you can go look at the canals near power plants. They like the warm water. Gators wander suburban neighborhoods, too. We have a three legged one that hangs out in retention ponds. Musta been a pirate, or had a run in with a ninja. Who'd win in a battle between suburban alligators and ninjas in a battle for the swamps? #12 - Posted by: Taro on September 24, 2003 12:08 PMWhere can we find more information about this? Incest StoriesIncest Pics Incest Pictures Incest sex #13 - Posted by: Gomes on January 7, 2004 05:25 PM Right handed people are conformists. #14 - Posted by: Enron on July 12, 2004 08:59 AMViolence in movies boy rape, rape fetish teenage rape. Anime rape incest rape, asian rape asian rape. Free rape porn rape sites, workplace violence military rape. Interracial rape tentacle rape, teen violence free rape sex. Domestic violence rape gallery, rape video virgin rape. Gay rape incest rape, free rape pictures gang rape. Teenage rape free rape clips, rapes free rape pics. violence in movies free rape stories. #15 - Posted by: violence in movies lesbian rape on January 5, 2005 09:35 PMFree gay free gay sex pics, gay teen boys gay sex stories. Twinks gay black videos, gay cum gay male sex. Gay males free twinks, young gay boys gay boy. Gay cock gay hentai, gay sex gay orgy. Free gay gay video, gay orgy nude gay. Gay personals nude gay men, gay videos free gay clips. Gay thumbs gay male sex, gay black free gay chat. gay bondage free gay pics. #16 - Posted by: gay bondage gay males on January 7, 2005 01:34 PMPost a comment
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