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Jason from Ohio writes:
I live in a university campus town, surrounded by liberal democrats, so it's only a matter of time before my apartment gets broken into and my stuff gets stolen. I don't own a handgun, and would like to purchase one. What type of handgun would you suggest for someone with little handgun shooting experience (I have fired rifles)? Or is brandishing a toy gun sufficient to scare aware most liberals?

Yes, living aorund liberals can be scary, so it is good to have something to shoot them with. I had a whole series for people unfamiliar with guns, but, in short, I'd reccomend getting a .357 magnum revolver if you want something really simple.

As for brandshing a toy gun, absolutely not. Where guns are concerned, never make a threat you can't back up.

Bilbus from Pennsville, NJ (the land of stupid gun control and stupider vehicle inspections) asks:
Frank, are all US government-employed muslims, such as the Gitmo boys, terrorist infiltrators, or just the ones they catch?

Not all Muslims are traitors. Why, for every Muslim traitor that is unconvered, there is at least one to two and half Muslims who are completely loyal to America. Thus, it would be unfair to single out Muslims for closer scrutinity. So, as to not hurt their feelings, all minorities should be singled out instead.

What?

Rob W. from Michigan writes:
I work in a mall, there is a K.B. Toys nearby. They have a monkey outside that keeps giving me the evil eye. So my question is... Should I shoot the monkey,
or firebomb K.B. Toys so that the monkeys ninja allies can not retaliate.

Definitely the firebomb. You don't want to start something with monkeys that you can't end. Snipe one, and soon you'll be surrounded by them, all of them hitting you with their tiny fists.

Oh, and when the police ask, you don't know me and I've never given you advice.

Dave F from Burlington, CT asks:
Boxers or Briefs? Coke or Pepsi? Iran or North Korea?

Boxers, Coke, and our you asking to live in, to bomb, or to conquer and rule as king?

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Please keep the questions coming, e-mailing me with the subject "Frank Answers" and include your name and town after the question and blog URL if you have one. Since I like the whole name and town dynamic, if you don't give me a place you're from, I'll randomly select one.

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