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January 22, 2004
Frank Answers: Illegal Aliens, Liberal Frank J., Pedro, 73 Lesbians, Caliber Preference, and Evolution
Dave F from Burlington, CT writes: Because speeding down the highway is cool, dude. If you've every flown a spaceship, it big and unwieldy, I tell ya, while a Corvette is sleek, yo. And an alien is already in enough trouble being chased by men in black; last thing he needs is to be put in jail for driving illegally.
Now no more talking about this.
We don't talk about Pedro. Next question.
Oh yeah; 73 women making out for eternity. Now there's a heaven, heh heh. ...wait, I mean that's deviant and wrong. I'm a good Catholic boy. Stop putting thought like this in my head.
I'm e-mailing from deep cover at my high school while my students are Good use of your time, sir... except the answer to that question should be pretty obvious to my avid readers. Maybe this graphic sent in by a reader can clear up things.
I am a samurai, and I fight with honor, my sword of justice striking down both pirate and ninja. Duh.
No! It is a lie spread by monkey kind in a ploy to keep us from killing them. We actually evolved from the kangaroo, and that's why there is a pouch on your stomach. Just trust me about the pouch and don't look.
It's just a matter of timing; don't nuke the moon while Americans are there (but maybe while Chinese are). Also, maybe nuke the other side so as to not radiate our astronauts. But we're not talking about Nuke the Moon anymore; we're talking about terrorists. So buy my new t-shirt. NOW! * * * * Please keep the questions coming, e-mailing me with the subject "Frank Answers" and include your name and town after the question and blog URL if you have one. Since I like the whole name and town dynamic, if you don't give me a place you're from, I'll randomly select one. 58 Responses To "Frank Answers: Illegal Aliens, Liberal Frank J., Pedro, 73 Lesbians, Caliber Preference, and Evolution"
FIRST! OT, check out Google.... it's been taken over by Chinese New Year's monkeys! #1 - Posted by: Mike the Marine on January 22, 2004 09:05 AMWould putting a nuclear power plant on the moon to support a colony count somehow as nuking it? Then we could have the best of both worlds... Or you might just have to pick out a new target... "Nuke Io! (No one will notice)" #2 - Posted by: Steve Gigl on January 22, 2004 09:06 AMOK, I would agree that a 9mm doesn't have much in the way of stopping power (but I am told it hurts like hell and can actually kill you). But what about my .40 cal S&W? Does that make me a metrosexual gun enthusiast? I hope not. #3 - Posted by: sleeper on January 22, 2004 09:20 AMWe actually evolved from the kangaroo, and that's why there is a pouch on your stomach. Well, that could explain the "innie" belly buttons. "Outies", OTOH... those people must be space aliens. #4 - Posted by: Russ on January 22, 2004 09:24 AMMike, Sleeper, Sleeper, your .40 Short and Weak does in fact make you a metrosexual gun enthusiast. I'm so, so sorry. My advice to you is to buy a quality 1911-style .45 ACP right now. Kimber, Springfield Armory, it doesn't matter. What does matter, is that us gun-enthusiasts stick to a REAL cartrige. #6 - Posted by: ZakkWylde470 on January 22, 2004 09:28 AMLiberal Frank J. = Bizzaro Frank J. #7 - Posted by: Sue on January 22, 2004 09:39 AMThe female hamas agent will get forty-two virgins. However, since it supposed to be hell for her, they will be virgin guys who have no idea what to do with her and have no staying power. #8 - Posted by: LibertyBob on January 22, 2004 09:59 AMForget the many universes thing, it's a hoax, but as for the universe recurving so far as to make the far right & far left come together again -- recheck your math, it can happen. How much did Pat Buchanon like the Iraq war? The John Birch Society? If by November the "recovery" is still jobless, Bush is still puttin' tax & spendocrats to shame with his fiscal planning, and then Dem's aren't fielding an incredible hulk-alike (chuckles, nice work with that btw) then a walk on the dark side might be thinkable. Dean appears to be only a clever way to get a smear campaign against Bush in the limelight without having to tarnish the actual candidate. . . although he sure seems to be making a bunch of celeb's look stupid. #9 - Posted by: Capitalist_B on January 22, 2004 10:32 AMThat graphic for the .45 ACP is one of the funniest things on IMAO. It would be the funniest if Chomps didn't exist. And who is Pedro? And didn't someone already ask that illegal aliens question? #10 - Posted by: The Vigilante on January 22, 2004 10:38 AMFrank, this is totally off topic... but you've inspired me to drop the bucks for a new Paul Chen Zatochi sword.... if you come to Texas some time, we'll duel! #11 - Posted by: dviant on January 22, 2004 10:56 AMI have to agree with Frank about the 9mm vs. the .45 ACP. I've shot both, and I do have to say the there are few things more fun that .45 Glazer Safety Slugs for soft targets... well, Ranger Talons are fun, but illegal. That image of the .45 magazine was hilarious. Now, what would I be if I decided to go with .45, but like an H&K Mk 23? #12 - Posted by: Morphius Kane on January 22, 2004 11:41 AMJust bought an H&K USP Compact in .45 ACP. Right out of the box, it is one of the sweetest shooting guns I have ever owned. Those wacky Germans my be timid about going to Iraq, but they can build some ordnance. #13 - Posted by: Brass on January 22, 2004 12:23 PMHey Brass, remember that it's just a rumor that the Germans know anything about weapons. Never in their history have they had anything to do with war like stuff. They are the most gentle people to ever have investments in french companies with investments in Iraq. #14 - Posted by: LibertyBob on January 22, 2004 12:30 PMAlso remember that the 3rd Reich had to dehumanize the Jews in order to turn the population against them. All we need is a target and we shoot to kill. Take Iraq (twice), Germany, Japan, Nicaragua, Panama, Italy and the Bosnians. The presidents just said, "Shoot them!" so we did. There aren't any pansies in America. #15 - Posted by: Shorty on January 22, 2004 01:02 PMIf God wanted us to carry Glocks or H&Ks he would have had John Moses Browning design them. And they'd be single-stack, single-action, and made out of steel! #17 - Posted by: ZakkWylde470 on January 22, 2004 02:25 PMSo the aliens are being chased by men and black? Men chasing aliens, that I can understand. But the thought of aliens being chased by a colour (or the complete absence of colour) gives me the jubblies. #18 - Posted by: AK on January 22, 2004 03:12 PMBurn in hell! That's right; you've angered the gods (namely me). #19 - Posted by: Frank J. on January 22, 2004 03:40 PM"Also remember that the 3rd Reich had to dehumanize the Jews in order to turn the population against them." So what you're saying is that the Nazis were in league with the monkeys? The .40 S&W is only for market driven drones who don't know enough of their own nation's glorious history to realize they're shooting a .38-40. "If it doesn't have anything for your thumb to do, it's not a real handgun..." #21 - Posted by: Richard McEnroe on January 22, 2004 07:20 PMWell, I used to have a .45, and not a pansy ass goofy single stack - I had the PARAORDNANCE - double stack 13 with one in the pipe - YEAH!!! Then... Then I got a .50, and now I can blow holes in Frank J, his goofy little sword, AND his .45 - big enough that Howard Dean could walk through. Well, at least his dead kitten, anyway. COME ON FRANK - you have got to get some bigger gonads to be a right winger. #22 - Posted by: Val on January 24, 2004 12:54 AMDAMMIT...I CARRY A BERETTA ELITE 2 IN 9MM...IF YOU HONESTLY FEEL THAT 9MM IS A WEAK CARTRIDGE...STAND IN FRONT OF ME, AND LET ME DUMP AN ENTIRE MAG INTO YOU...ANY TAKERS??? OOPS...THAT WOULD BE .40S&W...SORRY #24 - Posted by: Texas shootin' solution on January 25, 2004 03:29 PMThe question is: While you are busily popping off caps at me, and possibly hitting me, will they drop men before I put ONE .50 cal in you??? That's what I think about, because lets face it, if some doped up and violent liberal attacks me with a an illegal hand gun that he wants legislation to outlaw. I want to be sure my cartridge cuts through he or she's (see how PC I am) drug induced mania and drops them right there... Now let me ask you, which round is more likely to do that with fewer hits... Mine or yours :-) #25 - Posted by: Val on January 25, 2004 07:42 PMBesides, don't you think that a pillar of the right wing media like Frank should just look more manly and have a BIG freakin handgun instead of a steak knife? #26 - Posted by: Val on January 25, 2004 07:44 PMHonestly folks, it doesn't matter the size of the gun you use. Shot placement is all that matters. Col. Jeff Cooper has always said, " A hit with a .22 is better than a miss with a .44." Thats the truth. You are completely missing the point, you redneck! Let me bullet point it for you: Frank J. - Right Wing Pillar - Big F'N Gun. What don't you understand??? #28 - Posted by: Val on January 26, 2004 11:35 PMOpen your mind - http://eldorado.com.ua #36 - Posted by: Open your mind - http://eldorado.com.ua on May 19, 2004 12:57 AMOpen your mind - http://eldorado.com.ua #37 - Posted by: Open your mind - http://eldorado.com.ua on May 20, 2004 06:28 PMFast Automatic Exchange PayPal, e-gold, e-Bullion, EvoCash Fast Automatic Exchange PayPal, e-gold, e-Bullion, EvoCash Open your mind - http://eldorado.com.ua #42 - Posted by: Open your mind - http://eldorado.com.ua on May 27, 2004 07:05 PMWe offer a wide variety of efficient and cost effective drug tests, detox products, pregnancy tests and other medical tests. http://www.docself.com #43 - Posted by: Drug Tests on July 1, 2004 05:20 AMLas piezas de mi adversario se mueven muy lentamente por el tablero preparando un ataque que, cuando llegue, será tan irresistible como repentino #44 - Posted by: Butalbital on September 10, 2004 04:39 AMCool site :) For Spam prevention you can place easy graphic verification. 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