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October 21, 2003
Joooos!
The Malaysian Prime Minister said that Jews control the world. All this time I thought it was gravity, but, no, it was the Jews! When there was a big uproar against his statements, the PM said that only proved that Jews control the world. It's good we have Malaysian Prime Ministers to figure things out like that for us. You probably are wondering why the Jews get blamed for everything and not someone else like the Polynesians. Well, it's because "Jews" is easy and fun to yell. Try it right now. Just shake your fist in the air and shout, "JEWS!" Isn't that fun. And any time you spill ketchup on yourself, drop your pen, or run out of toilet paper, instead of moping there feeling sorry for yourself, it's a lot more satisfying to shout out angrily, "JEWS!" Anyway, the Jews do have an overly large influence in the world if you think about it. Why are bagels so good and plentiful in New York City? It's because of the... JEWS! Why is their kosher salt available at the supermarket? It's on account of... JEWS! Ever been called a "schmuck" or accused of having "chutzpah"? People wouldn't use those words if it weren't for the... JEWS! Seen a synagogue in your town? It's only there because of the... JEWS! I've also heard that the Jews killed Jesus (actually, there's a whole film produced by Mel Gibson coming out about the crucifixion of which the working title is Look What Those Pesky Jews Did!). It seems strange to get angry about that, though, since Jesus came back to life a few days later; no harm, no foul. But did you know that Jesus was Jewish? Maybe Christianity is some big Jewish conspiracy. Ever get annoyed about having to get up early on a Sunday to go to church? Well, it's because of the... JOOOOOS! And what about terrorism? You know why terrorists bomb people? It's because they're ignorant murderous, scumbags. But how do they have energy to commit their attacks? Because they eat food. And what do they eat? Goat and lambs. And what's a female lamb called? It's called an... EWE! Which sounds a lot like... JEW! Which doesn't prove anything... but it doesn't disprove anything either! And just today, a Jewish coworker of mine had me read an ICD. So I told him, "That was boring! And stop ruling the world by proxy!" And he said, "No. And don't forget about the PDR today." What's with all these acronyms in engineering? Must be because of the... JOOOOOOOOS!!! And don't someone call me an anti-Semite now, because I have no idea what a Semite is. It does kinda sound like something I wouldn't like, but I can't be sure. Oh, if you didn't like this post, send hate mail to either Meryl Yourish, Laurence Simon, or Eugene Volokh who run the blogosphere by proxy. And one more thing: JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!!! 48 Responses To "Joooos!"
I love you, Frank! Run away with me to Atlantic City, where we can lose all our money at roulette and blame it on the ewes.... #1 - Posted by: Susie on October 21, 2003 01:21 PMBlasted Elders running the world - they never send me my check. Some other Jew must be getting it. #2 - Posted by: Joseph J. Finn on October 21, 2003 01:31 PMfunny. #3 - Posted by: on October 21, 2003 02:15 PMDidn't you know that the little switch that turns the earth's gravity on and off is located in Israel?! There's this little old guy sitting next to it ready to flip it as soon as he's given the order. Yep. He's Ewish. #4 - Posted by: Jewels~of~the~Jungle on October 21, 2003 02:19 PMIsrael has the nerve to exist-- blame the jooooos! haha #5 - Posted by: Squirrel on October 21, 2003 03:11 PM"It seems strange to get angry about that, though, since Jesus came back to life a few days later; no harm," This may be the all-time funniest thing you've ever written #6 - Posted by: WAL on October 21, 2003 03:19 PMI don't blame the Jews for killing Jesus because hey, if they hadn't, we'd all be screwed. Go Jews! Maybe Israel's mascot should be a ewe. #7 - Posted by: Minstrel on October 21, 2003 03:29 PMTheir/They're/There. I can tell your public education was deliberately shorted by the JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS! #8 - Posted by: TheYeti on October 21, 2003 03:30 PMThere is no way I accidentally used "their" instead of "there" so many times. It must have been the... JOOOOOS!! #10 - Posted by: Frank J. on October 21, 2003 03:57 PMThere is no curse...the Cubs lost because of the Jooooooooos! #11 - Posted by: Blackfive on October 21, 2003 04:03 PMIt's not the Goat curse, it's the curse of the Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeee. #12 - Posted by: Ross on October 21, 2003 04:20 PMFrank, you're back! Funny! I hope it's the shep in me, I do sometimes feel a bit ewish. #13 - Posted by: shep on October 21, 2003 05:54 PMHas anybody else seen Zoolander? Wasn't it the Malasian Prime Minister who was supposed to be killed by Ben Stiller, who is, or at least he once played, a Jew. #14 - Posted by: Alan on October 21, 2003 06:19 PMAlan, Joos ate my dog. =( By the way, if you are t3h l33t haxx0r, you can call someone a j00. #16 - Posted by: Jeff @ BigStick.us on October 21, 2003 08:00 PMSay, you don't think evil white Glenn is Jewish, do you? #17 - Posted by: John on October 21, 2003 10:02 PMQuery: How can I join The Jooos in ruling the world? Oy vay. #19 - Posted by: jonag on October 22, 2003 02:10 AMOur PM will say strange stuff at times,,,,,like some old ninja master that has retired for many years and live in a very secluded part of the woods. He might throw lines like "The force is all around you luke, feel the force".......wait,,,,,,,my PM didn' say that, a short green fella did,,,,,,,,,,,well,,,,,,,anyways,,,,,,he means well,,,,,,,,,heck, Malaysia wouldn't be so modern like it is today,,,,,and i wouldn't have the ability to pay for my new Volvo X90 #20 - Posted by: Calodin on October 22, 2003 06:22 AMMy throat hurts from yelling at the JOOOOOOOOOOS. Great, I read the God post first and commented...now I realize that, even if you do lead us all straight to hell, the joooos won't let us in the damned gates (get it, damned gates...I think I'm getting funnier by proxy. Thanks jooooos). #22 - Posted by: Bubba on October 22, 2003 10:33 AMOnce again, the_brick, please leave me out of it. I'm in enough trouble as it is. Hey, want to buy some good ecstasy? #23 - Posted by: O.J. Simpson on October 22, 2003 12:45 PMSure, Susie. I'll be the guy wearing the sunglasses and camo. Corner of 5th and Walnut, 5:30 tonite. Bring a lot of money, don't tell anyone you're going with me, but leave the ewe at home (that could subject my eternal soul to unknown purgatorial retribution). Yeah, yeah, I'm, like, Frank J.. Sure Susie... #24 - Posted by: A Guy Posing As Frank J. on October 22, 2003 01:12 PMhere's a frightening article about what we (the USA and Israel) are up against While I am sure there are Muslims who are peaceful, there are too many who would slit your throat if you were somehow labeled an infidel. #26 - Posted by: tom on October 22, 2003 07:19 PMeven a democratic congresswoman blamed the joooooooooooooooooooooooooooos when she lost re-election i think she spelled it differently, though #27 - Posted by: on October 22, 2003 07:23 PMFrank, I think you've got the spelling or maybe pronunciation wrong. Take from a jewboy, it's "Jee-oos," not "Joos." The "Jee" is a very important and powerful tool; with practice you can pull it off with such subtlety that it will have its effect subliminally. Just listen to Peter Jennings a couple of times and you'll see what I mean. #28 - Posted by: law slacker on October 23, 2003 01:24 PMFrankly, I blame it all on The Juice. Damn that OJ. Killing with impugnity, screwing with my credit rating, messing up my cable reception...bastard. #29 - Posted by: Greg on October 23, 2003 01:46 PMChristianity is all a Jewish conspiracy with some of the manmade sauce scraped off. #30 - Posted by: pdotfu on October 23, 2003 08:36 PMRight pdotfu. Listen to this. Christianity Cjestianw Jestcwi Jescw Jesw Jews This is the Bible Code secret real Nazi skinheads have prophesied silently for years. I have seen the pizza speaking brick language. Non-Pakistanis often get colon licorice. The reason every Democrat except for the Jew Lieberman and French-looking, Jewish descent Kerry hates JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS. #31 - Posted by: Bilbus on October 23, 2003 10:41 PMThis is getting so confusing...there I was, trying to get into Skull and Bones, till I found out that it was the Bilderbergers running every; so, I'm half way to being a plutocratic oppressor of the masses/rapist of the environment and now you guys come along and say its the Jews running everything...heck, I don't even look Jewish...glad, at least, that I'm already circumcised (and lets thank God for rountine, un-necessary surgical procedures...) #32 - Posted by: Mark Noonan on October 24, 2003 03:50 AMI do what the voices in my head tell me to do. And they're all Jewish. #33 - Posted by: Laurence Simon on October 25, 2003 12:31 PMThe square root of Jew is Palestinian Pie #35 - Posted by: Frequent Commie on October 25, 2003 05:35 PMFunniest damn thing I read since....since.... um....a long, long time! #36 - Posted by: Ben on October 25, 2003 08:11 PMMahathir has an extensive experience of a senior statesman. He knows the problem. He dealt with it for years. Just look at the rapidly expanding Jewish community of Malaysia. #37 - Posted by: MikeO on October 26, 2003 10:55 PMIf the jews were really running the world, why would they pick that smaill sliver of land in the middle of all their enemies? I mean if you can pick anywhere on earth, wouldn't you pick Hawaii? even a democratic congresswoman blamed the joooooooooooooooooooooooooooos when she lost re-election We don't talk about here any more. Never happened. "But wasn't she reelected for like decades and stuff..." NEVER HAPPENED!!! #39 - Posted by: Jim on October 27, 2003 02:43 PMhey, we couldn't have eaten your dog -- it's not kosher ... doesn't chew its cud or have split hooves..... (but you can blame those lacks in the dog on the ewes!!!!) where do i stand in line to get my check if we're controlling the world... or better yet, can i replace the twit running france? :) ewes, ewes, ewes, ewes (sung to loverly spam) #40 - Posted by: cris on October 27, 2003 05:35 PMI swear this cheered me up no end! All the antisemitism in Easterbrook was getting me too upset. And you know who causes all the antisemitism in the world??! JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!! #41 - Posted by: Patti on October 28, 2003 08:16 AMHow do you find all of this "JOOSSS" FUNNY? Its not, ohh well yall might be those super nerds that dress like star wars episodes and have wild dreams about fusion power and a protective condom over THE U.S.A... I'd love to go one on one with Frank, no wimpy guns no nohting, just bare nuckles... I'd kick him in the forehead and send him straight to the moon, that is if the US doesn't blow it up as part of their so called smart strategy... You all are STUPID people, all of us, cool people like surfers hate nerds, and stupid racist bastards like all of you are... And some smart ass might comment on that surfers are known to be pot heads and nothing more well so be it... we will always be cool, and you racist SUPER NERDS will always be BIG TIME LOOSERS... Surfers always get the hot chicks while you other assholes get to play POCKET POOL INFRONT OF THE MONITOR... HAHAHA racist BASTARDS... ID TAKE ON ANY OF YOU WIMPY ASSHOLES ANY DAY ANY PLACE... #42 - Posted by: on October 29, 2003 02:29 PMPOCKET POOL.... HAHAHa THAT CRACKED ME UP... #43 - Posted by: Jack on October 29, 2003 02:31 PMann bradstreet we may live togetherwelivetogether angelinawe live together videoswelivetogether pictureswe all live together pornwelivetogethersfree welivetogethercom welivetogetherwe live togetherwe live together girls free videocom welivetogetherwe live together lesbianvideo welivetogetherwe all live together girlspassword welivetogetherclip welivetogetherwelivetogether passwordwe live together girlspass welivetogetherwe live together comdina welivetogethergallery welivetogetherwe live together free xxxfree we live togetherwelivetogether becawe all live togetherfree we live together picturesfree we live together mpegstogether we livewe live together porn #44 - Posted by: We live together on December 24, 2003 05:39 PMain't nuthin' like being jooooooish #47 - Posted by: mazeltovcocktail on December 9, 2004 11:14 PMPost a comment
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