If only we lived in your world FrankJ....

He is a just God.

The Smitings shall continue until morale improves.

The videotape ended and the anchorwoman came back on screen. "France has come out to condemn the unilateral action of the U.S., Britain, and the Lord Almighty. France was subsequently swallowed by the earth. The earth soon got very sick and spit France back out."

hahahahahaha

Absolutely fantastic way to start the day.

"Can you prove you're really God," asked a skeptical reporter.

"Sure I can... SMITE! SMITE! SMITE!"

"Can you prove you're really God," asked a skeptical reporter.

"Sure I can... SMITE! SMITE! SMITE!"

Reporters started dropping dead.

and

"God has gone on a total rampage against terrorists," the anchorwoman reported, "His first action was to lift up the entire nation of Syria and then beat Saudi Arabia with it."

BAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAA

*giggle*
*snort*

*JUST* what I needed after the day's work. A thousand blessings upon your funnybone, Frank J.

One of my favorite lyrics of late is from the David Bowie song I'm afraid of Americans:

God is an americian

If it wasn't sung by a foriegner it wouldn't be so good

"Kill! Maim! Destroy! Make alive no longer!"

[insert copious laughing sounds here]

Frank, you made my day.

Frank...please stop...cant breathe...laughin too hard...sides hurt....romm going dark...no oxygen..

It's good to see Buck the Marine once again, being blessed for his faithful service with ammo from heaven!

"His first action was to lift up the entire nation of Syria and then beat Saudi Arabia with it."

Thank you for choosing Wednesdays to post your "In My World"s. Just what the demented doctor ordered...

If this post doesn't mean your leading the entire readership of IMAO straight to hell...well, there just ain't no hell (and not only doesn't God follow the geneva convention, He has a sense of humor too).

If he's going Old Testament, shouldn't he be a Jewish God?

God - The ultimate religious extremist. I love it!

"Religious extremist!" shouted a Democrat just before exploding into flames.

D---, there goes another monitor.

"If he's going Old Testament, shouldn't he be a Jewish God?"

I think it's Charleton Heston (the ammo thing tipped it). You're a funny man, Frank.

Frank, I and the UN hate you and wish to kill you. And Joseph J. Finn, even I, a murdering Muslim, know that he is a Jewish God. Why do you think we hate the Jews?

OF COURSE God has a sense of humor. Why else would raindrops be shaped like little water baloons? Great job once again, Frank (you cute and loveable thing, you).

Although to be honest, I just can't see God in a cowboy hat and duster.

Minstrel,
That was supposed to be the first hint it was Bush's dream; God was dressed like Walker Texas Ranger.

Oh this was just way too funny, Frank. This is just beat out "Career Day" as the funniest "In My World" ever.

So stop now. There is no way you can top this. Never! I will come back next Monday to make sure too.

Frank, there was too Merde in France, that's why it was spit out.
Guess what's the ammo ?

Yes, definitely one of your best. :-D

Brilliant. One of your best ever.

To the cute and loveable Frank J.: I figured as much. I'm just having a hard time imagining it, is all.

BTW, I emailed you last week begging you to blogroll me, and you haven't replied. What gives? Are you just that far behind on answering your mail? I blogrolled you, so the least you could do is return the favor.

Oh! E-mail! I forgot to check that this month.

"Bush will be president for I have said so!" God announced, "and thus Democrats must be smoten!" Lightning and fireballs flew at all the Democrats. "Kill! Maim! Destroy! Make alive no longer!" God shouted while laughing maniacally.

"Religious extremist!" shouted a Democrat just before exploding into flames.

Perfect.

"At important meetings about national security," Condi said angrily, "It's traditional to STAY AWAKE!"
Bush laid his head back down. "I'm following the Reagan tradition."

Yet again, you outdo yourself. They just keep getting better and better!

"His first action was to lift up the entire nation of Syria and then beat Saudi Arabia with it."

"France has come out to condemn the unilateral action of the U.S., Britain, and the Lord Almighty. France was subsequently swallowed by the earth. The earth soon got very sick and spit France back out."

"Religious extremist!" shouted a Democrat just before exploding into flames."

ROFLMAO! LOLLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! THE BEST EVER!

Yep!

This was the best one since the early Rumsfeld press conferences, the ones with Ari Fleisher were priceless too!

TRULY!

"I guess God doesn't follow the Geneva Convention" is the greatest quote ever.

I protest this unilateral action taken by God :)

-Vic

Lovely to read your wistful dreams of blood shed Frank, I bet Bush really has had this dream. Also I'm intrigued by your army of loyal sicophants who worship your every move. It has always fasinated me how Jesus was a pretty hardcore revolutionary socialist (you know how he fought the corruption of the church, encouraged people to give ALL their wealth to the poor, turn the other cheek etc) but most of his followers are conservative.

If a vengeful Bush loving god did come to Earth, man, I'd become a Satanist!!!

I often write satire and express an extreme view but that is usually in the name or irony. Your extremist writings I almost let through because they're kinda funny but then I think about it. You really DO want this to happen! A racist joke isn't just funny; there is genuine hatred in it. Everybody should read your site so they can see the true values of a Republican and not be fooled by their moderate rhetric.

Yeah I, know what your thinking "bloody political correctness" but you know what? I love our new politically correct society!

France must be commended for standing up against the bully boy tactics of Bush. It looks like they were right too; where's all these weapons of mass destruction? It looks like your good fiscally "responsible" Rebublican has chalked up the biggest foreign debt ever and is stuck in shithole Iraq that is probably now gonna become a another Islamic state (seeing as the majority of Iraqi's are shi'ites.) So good work Bush, thanks for saving the fucking world, you have plunged your economy into debt and slashed essential services. I used to think that the Democrats were just as bad, but there is a world of difference.

I gota go free Nelson Mendela (take a shit)

Yeesh, Wakefield, you must be fun at parties.

You drop by a humor site and leave a political screed. Aren't there enough appropriate venues in which you could do this? Is Democraticunderground slow today?

"I blogrolled you, so the least you could do is return the favor."

- - -Don't hold your breath, Minstrel. Hasn't blogrolled me, either.

He's got Instapundit blogrolled *twice*, though.

Hm......

Hah! Frank, you've outdone yourself! The James Wakefield character is one of your funniest yet!

You got me, lyle. I've been writing all his comments just to egg people on.

France must be commended? I'm sorry, I do not understand. This is some form of jest, correct?

Yes! I love this line..."You're thinking of Jesus," God chuckled, "Now I'm going to get Old Testament on all the enemies of America!"

Thanks for helping me start my day with laughter

TO: Host
RE: What On EARTH...

...were you drinking when you did this?

Regards,

Chuck(le)
[God is alive...and airborne-ranger qualified.]

TO: the_brick
RE: Just God

"He is a just God." -- the_brick

And His judgements are righteous, altogether. -- Abraham Lincoln, and some other wag thousands of years before.

Regards,

Chuck(le)

No, the funniest on of all time has to be the Ari press conference in In My World: Stupid People No Like War

Frank, I imagine God wiping snot of laughter off his monitor...and that's one hell of a job ( pardon the pun) cuz' I guess God has like a zillion inch flat screen LCD display !

(really Frank- recent death of a brother, this one really made my day- thanks.....)

Gee Frank, I was just getting into it and you quit....

J.Wakeland is a fucking idiot:
--------
Jesus was a pretty hardcore revolutionary socialist (you know how he fought the corruption of the church, encouraged people to give ALL their wealth to the poor, turn the other cheek etc)
--------
Jesus told ONE money-grubbing trust-fund baby to destroy the idol that stood between him and God : his money. Later Judas Fucking Iscariot (piss be upon him) tried to turn that into some socialist program, just like his spawn James here. Mary Magdallen had SAVED UP HER MONEY and spent it on a lavish and expensive gift for Jesus. Judas starts whining about how the money she EARNED and SAVED should have been redistributed to the poor. Of course his motive was the same as all you fucking rebellushunhairy socialshits: he cared not for the poor, he just wanted PERSONAL power, control and financial benefit. Jesus just told him to shut his pie-hole and leave Mary (and her money) alone. Read it for yourself.

Apparently, according to Mark, this was the straw that broke the camels back. If this intolerant, uncompassionate bastard was going to stand in the way of Judas' power position in the new Socialshit Utopia then Jesus was gonna have to be Borked big time.

And what shall I say of "turn the other cheek"? Emporer Misha covers this very well, especially in the comments.

I think the goal of socialism isn't to fight corruption in the church, it is to rid the world of the "opiate of the masses." Big difference. Since socialism is a political thing and the church is a religious thing and we have this "separation" between government and the church, what the fuck are you doing suggesting that a socialist government corrects anything in the church? Oh yeah, rebbelushenary socialshits don't give a rats ass about the US constitution, just another thing in the way of their power and wealth.

Maggot. Piss on you too.

Loved Frank J.'s bit though.

essential services (from the gov't)??????
If Mr Wakefield is for real, this is the problem.

"ESSENTIAL SERVICES" were spelled out quite clearly and succinctly a coupla hundred years ago in something, an ad(no) , a billboard(no),
OH YE, the friggin Constitution.

If the US Gov't actually had to follow this doctrine it would be interesting to see how many of
Wakefields "essentials" would survive.

James Wakefield, you Disestablishmentarianism Son of a Bitch,

I gota(sic) go free James Wakefield (take a shit)

Sycophant my noodle, you freaking antiChrist, sheep screwing, Jew loathing, piss gargling, Princess Diana worshipping, registered Democrat.

I'm gonna second Maci Ironhead on this one. Funniest moments are definately "SMITE! SMITE! SMITE!" and "His first action was to lift up the entire nation of Syria and then beat Saudi Arabia with it."

Mainly because it's so hilarious to visualise the latter actually happening.

'James Wakefield', if you EVER come here again i will unscrew you're head and shit down you're neck, then maybe i'll pluck out you're eyes and skull fuck you,,, or maybe i'll do that first,,,

James Wakefield,

Your are a conniving, candy ass, lying, shit-for-brains, genetically inbred, Saddam suckin', Nazi butt boy, snot nosed, sniveling, panty waisted, two faced, two talking, self loathing, Village People loving, waste of space. You are a stupid person's idea of a clever person. Don't let your mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own. You are as dumb as a two by four, you freaking Britney Spears. You would chicken hawk your own brother for a date with a transexual hooker. You are one true schmoe. You have cooties, dork breath, and anal fissures. You sniff your father's boxers and dream of queef. Your underwear has a permanent brown stripe. You freaking Banbury cheese eating phagocyte. Your mother forgets your birthday. I'm a human being...what are you? Did your mother have any children that lived? Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade. After reading your drivel, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest. I don't know who you are, but whatever it is, I'm sure everyone will agree with me. You're like one of those "idiot savants," except without the "savant" part. If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used. Go fart peas at the moon, monkey ass. If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid. Can I borrow your face for a few days while my ass is on vacation? If brains were money, you couldn't pay attention. If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose. It is your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. I may pretend to dislike you, but, deep down inside, I hate you. You have no idea how acutely depressing it is to realize we're from the same species. I heard you got a prom date, and she's inflatable to boot. When God gave you teeth, he ruined a perfectly good ass. What problems do you have, apart from being unemployed, a moron, and a dork? If I could only piss the way you write...I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. You can't even hold your own attention. You're about as useless as the Pope's testicles. You have the personality of a dead hamster. To know you is to like you; to not know you is to love you. Your brain cell must really be lonely. Your father spent the first year of your life throwing stones at the stork. May your soul rest in eternal piss. You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. I heard Michael Jackson used to invite you over to his house to blow Bubbles together.

Why don't you go to Frawnce and join a faggot monastery, you socialist pig sticker?!?!

With All Sincerity,

Bilbus

TO: James Wakefield
RE: Satanist?

"If a vengeful Bush loving god did come to Earth, man, I'd become a Satanist!!!" -- James Wakefield

And what makes you think you aren't one now?

Regards,

Chuck(le)
[Hell is empty and all the devils are here. -- Diversity Training Workshop facilitator]

nada impresionante!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

god is one who does not judge. sometimes i think he or she should like some people in the u.s who think they are the best.some people should shut up and try to get along.

people who judge like the u.s will find out in time

"Manna from heaven?" "No, ammo! Hollow point! Guess God doesn't follow the Geneva convention." ha ha ha ha
if only it really happened...!!

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OMG! I loved it! I love this site! "SMITE SMITE SMITE!" FUNNY!